She's 14. He's 48. What should i say to her?

Question

My friend works at a hotel and met a man there.

She is 14. He is 48. And she tells me all about him and how she loves him and how he's sooo sweet and nice to her. She thinks she is in love. For all i know, she could be!

But i'm scared for her. She knows that, but ignores my requests to stop attempting a romantic relationship with him! He's MARRIED, for god's sake!

Her future "plan" is to somehow get him single again, get him to love her, and marry him. Not only is that effing impossible, it would be morally WRONG if she succeded.

What should I say to her?

Answer 1

you: hey girl, sup?

her: oh nothing, like i my man (and i mean man) is buying a red sportscar.

you: oh cool, like, can i go for a ride?

her: like, ok i guess. like, you aint gonna steal my man (and i mean man) are you?

you: like, no way! he's an old fart with more hair on his chest than you have on your, like, you know what, like oh my gawd!

her: ur rite, he's a hairy old mf'er. like, ur my very bestest friend. thanks for the advice.

you: like, no problem. hey u wanna make out and post a video on myspace?

her: like, oh my gawd! i was thinkin the same thing!!!

Answer 2

You're her friend and she expects you to give her advice that she wants to hear... but since you're a good friend you have to be honest with her.
First, inform her that a relationship between the two is 100% illegal! She has four more year before she turns legal and would be able to date him and any type of relationship with him now would get him in deep trouble.
Also, ask her, what exactly does she think makes a 48 year old man interested in a 14 year old girl? Instead of a woman? It's because she is young and he wants to steal her of her innocence, I promise you that.
Ask her if she was his wife in the position how would she feel? She wants this man to end up getting divorced for HER. How would she like it if the script was flipped and the tables turned? Inform her that she is being very selfish.
Sadly, friends dont always take the good advice that other friends take, so what you need to do is tell your parents so they can sit down and have a talk with her parents.
I know you're her friend and you don't want to be a snitch but if you care about her and don't want nothing bad to happen to her, you have to get an adults help so that they can get this problem under control. By telling her parents, they probably wont allow her to work at the hotel anymore, should tell the employer of both their daughter and this man of what is going on, and will probably get her some counseling.
So, as I said, if she wants to ignore you and your advice, you'll have to take action, as a good friend would, and tell her parents.

Answer 3

Anyone here have a MOM?!!!

Let's talk worst case scenerio, he knocks her up. He's better able to provide for the child than a 14 year old boy. Since no one is interested in alerting a parent, stop bothering the rest of the world to assuage your own guilt over doing nothing and wish her good luck.

Sounds harsh, but the question asker is trying to absolve herself of any responsibility, so she just needs to "wash her hands of it."

This may also sound harsh, but honestly, between a teen punk and a 48 year old man, I'd say she's better off where she is (since there isn't any parental help nearby).

The man can pay child support (assuming he doesn't just get stuffed in prison for the next 50 years) and whatever else needs done for this disturbed child.

Answer 4

That is wrong!!! but it's only wrong because he's married, if he wasn't then I would say it was OK but it looks like he's using her, maybe tell his wife what he's doing but stay anonymous to protect your friend.
But I'm 18 and my bf is 38 and we have been together for 3 years I know he loves me, he has never cheated and I was always his 1st girlfriend I know because he told me, and If he didn't love me then why has he been with me that long, just goes to show love can happen in big age differences and most are very successful.
But in this case he's doing the wrong thing because he's married, and I belive in commitment, so protect her if your a good friend.

Answer 5

You can start off by telling your friend that this is an illegal relationship. In the eyes of the law, it does not matter if they "love" each other. He WILL go to jail. I don't know what your friend looks like but regardless, any older man that finds a 14 year old sexually attractive is "SICK" and needs help. As her friend, I suggest you contact their work and alert their boss...then call the police. This may be hard but your friend (and her family) will eventually appreciate it.

Answer 6

Tell her what she is doing is just plain WRONG. Its statutory rape and a 48 year old man would only like a teen that way if they were sick. Have her get the hell outa there and get a cop before she ends up like the victims on law and order SVU

Answer 7

Tell her that her friend will end up in jail if he touches her! That's way too much for a 14yr. old to handle. He's not going to leave his wife. She'd better leave him alone. God knows he might be a serial killer or something! Get her away from that man...or tell the man you're going to tell her family about him. Write him a note if you're afraid to talk to him. OR better yet; actually talk to her family about him. This sounds very dangerous. She might hate you for exposing her secret, but you might be saving her life!

Answer 8

Tell her that she will skip all the moments in life we are supposed to go thru. To imagine when she's 25 and he's almost 60. Help her, don't let her ruin her life... but I think she will though because he'll eventually leave her or she will realize it's stupid and leave him. But don't let him take advantage of her. He's a grown man and probably will want sex. so help her!!!!

Answer 9

If telling her that he probably only likes her as a daughter kinda, Ask her what she would do when she married him. When she is like 24, he'll be 58, how will they do stuff together, what about their love life?

Answer 10

There's probably not much that will get your friend to pay attention. If you are SUPER concerned, talk to her parents. I know it feels like the ultimate betrayal, but it's not. It's really not. Her folks are there to protect her and teach her about good relationships. If her folks are not people you'd talk to, tell your parents. They will know what to do.
You're smart to know that this relationship is wrong. Trust your instincts.

Answer 11

ignoring is best. or just tell her mom. and why woul a 48 year old man be intersted in her? unless he is some kin of freak i would DEFINITLY tell her to back away from that man a nd get a life!!! but of course i would say t nicely. : )