A serious problem. Please look at both sides of story before answering.?

Question

Okay, so I am a senior in highschool and I have had the same boyfriend (chris) since the summer before 7th grade. So obviously, things are serious between us. We are know we will be together for the rest of our lives. So now its time for me to look at colleges (he already attends a college in buffalo). My mom is seriously pushing Geneseo (about 2 hours away from buffalo) on me because her husbands sister and brother in law work there and she wants me to go dorm there. But i already made up my mind to go to Buffstate to not only be close to him but to be closer to my family.We planned on living together but I recently found out that Buffstate makes you dorm unless your married,21,live with your parents,or already lived somewhere 3 months before you were accepted into the college.I really want to go to Buffstate, dorm for a semester then live with my boyfriend.My mom will probably be pissed if i tell her b/c she wants me to go to geneseo. PLEASE I NEED OPINIONS HERE!!! and please be nice

My mom doesnt want me to settle for a college that isnt as good just to be with my boyfriend. How am i supposed to tell her that i want to stay in buffalo for chris?

Answer 1

There's really no easy way of going about this. Simply put; you two want two different things. You're going to just need to explain this to her just like you did us. She's not going to be happy with the outcome or you won't be happy. It's really as simple as that. If you are definitly going to college where your bf is at, then just try your best to assure her that it's a good school, you will do well, and that it will truely make you happy. Good luck.

Answer 2

Wow, this is a tough one. I remember being your age, and I can imagine what you are going through. Just ask yourself this. IS the college your Mom wants you to go to a good one? Does it have what YOU need for the career you are choosing? If you are Chris are sure you are meant for each other, what difference does 2 or 3 or 4 years make? You will be together for the REST OF YOUR LIVES, right????? Of course you will, so a few years won't hurt you. Just be SURE of the school. Check out the classes, the Profs., etc., and use your HEAD when you decide. Try this, imagine that you and Chris are already married, and have a child. Actually put yourself in that situation. Now, sit and think about if you wish you had gone to the school your Mom wanted you to go to, or if you are glad you went to Buffstate, OR even if you had wished you had gone to a completely different college all together. Now, take it from there. But, do think ahead. Okay? I sure hope that helps you.

Answer 3

Go to Buff state! It's cheaper than Geneseo, and no tuition if you live with your parents. I went to UB, so I'm from the area. Hey, wait a minute, isn't it your life?? You're an adult. Besides, the way jobs are now, it's the degree that matters, not the college you go to. If I went back to school, I'd go to a community college, because higher-priced, competitive schools aren't worth the money, most of the time. I think an article came out this month about Harvard and how it's the same education you can get a lot of places.

Answer 4

Go to the best college you can - for the education, not to be close to your boyfriend. I know this is hard to hear, but your education sets you on a path for a career that will support you the rest of your life. The boyfriend may come to an end. I am sure you saw friends in classes ahead that split up in their first year of college - this is very common. You have only been to school with kids from a few square miles, when you go to college, you will meet young adults from all over. You may find yourself interested in other guys, no matter how you feel right now.

I got married young to my 7th grade boyfriend & didn't go to college. We divorced in my late 30's, and I have had to struggle ever since. You can never replace what that education could have gotten you - a key to a career, and a secure financial future. And remember: if it is meant to be, you will survive as a couple -even at different schools.

Answer 5

It is great that you have some one special in your life but please consider the following. If your realationship is strong enough then what is so bad about being two hours away that isn't really that far. I wounder(no afence) if you don't trust him to be out of your sight that long. I think I know what your thinking here, maybe. don't get married so that you can live together. I married my one and only boyfriend whom I had been with since freshmen year as soon as we graduated. I dropped out of school after getting pregnant and now have three children and am divorced. We found that we grew apart because we hadn't given ourselves a chance to grow up and find out who we were and where we wanted to go in life. The distance I think would actually do both of you sooo much good. You will either grow even closer or grow apart but either way it will be what would have happened eventually anyways. Go to the best colledge you can and get a great education because factory life and factory pay really sucks!

Answer 6

Haven't you ever heard the classic story of boy meets girl in school - they get married - and then they FINALLY figure out that they don't want to be together, and they divorce/separate?

I know it may seem like a great idea to go to college to be with your boyfriend, but look at it this way - You're already rationalizing the situation by saying that not only do you want to go to college for "Chris", but you also want to be able to see your parents - so basically you're trying to say that you going to the college where your boyfriend is is better because you could see your parents too.

Wanting to be close to your family is a great thing, however, picking a college to go to just to be with some guy you've been with for years doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

So you've been together for a long time. Great. That's easy for people who grow up in the same town and go to the same school. Eventually he'll want to do his own thing, and he's certainly not going to want an attachment to hold onto because it could drag him down.

Breakups happen. Be realistic. If you're going to go someplace just to be with someone, fast forward to the consequences of your choices. You could breakup, then what would you do? How would you feel?

It's always better to do your own thing, and what's meant to be will always find it's way. I, for one, would NOT base my education goals on the whereabouts of my "boyfriend."

Answer 7

Ok, honey. I'm assuming Mom is paying for your college? And she only wants what is best for you. My idea is come up with a compromise. Take one year where your mother wants you to go. If you're relationship with Chris is still hot and heavy, then transfer to his school to finish the next 3 years. One year will make a world of difference in you and his maturity level and your mom will be better about letting you go cause you'll be close to her husbands family. Who knows? You just might get Chris to join YOU where your mom wants you to go. So just do it for one more year. What the heck is a year anyway? It will prove that you have a strong relationship with Chris and make your mom happy too.

Answer 8

Never make life choices as young as you are based on your boyfriend. It might not be a bad thing to go elsewhere to really see if this is your true love and if there is something to it. Not to say this isn't, but go to a college where you are going to get the most of what the education can offer in the long run. If you and your boyfriend were meant to be, a change of venue won't make the difference.....

Answer 9

It really sounds like you are doing this for him. You are young and need to find a good college for you and has what you want. If your bf really loves your he will understand and so will your mother. I would point out to your mother that you are a young adult and old enough to make up your mind about something that concerns your life. Let her know that she can give her opinion, but even though she does that you may not do exactly what she wants. Good luck to you with all that.

Answer 10

you should be able to pick your own college and your mom should be glad that you are going to college and you want to be close by your boyfriend and family i see nothing wrong with that so tell her and your boyfriend goes to college to she should be pushing you to buffalo state with a mile on her face that way if you have any problem you will be at home tell her good luck