Coming out advice?

Question

MTF transsexual, and I'm under 18. How do I come out to my parents and how do most parents react?

Answer 1

That's really hard for a Mom and Dad to face...Cant you just keep it discreet just out of respect towards your parents?

Answer 2

I'm eighteen and bi/gay guy; and a proud virgin until I find myself the right one, but that's a whole different kettle of fish.
But I'm of the rather antiquated notion that, what I did in my own bed, was MY business and no one else's. Don't tell your parents more than you actually have to. Just do what you like, have fun, and be discreet. No need for a public display unless YOU feel the need for it, or if they are particularly nagging and insistent.
My advice; keep quiet, go about your business, whatever that may be, and if your parents are decent human beings, they will soon enough figure things out for themselves. Between now and that time, it will give you a protective cushion against a negative reaction from them, and be the least embarassing for all involved.
I certainly don't intend to tell my parents more than the absolute minumum about my preferences- if they are good parents they will know on their own already, and if they don't then I pity them.

Answer 3

Firstly I think you are far too young to make such a decision concerning your sexuality. I would wait for a number of years before telling your parents, just incase you find that you should chnage your mind. However if you are still certain by the age of around 25-30 then you will have to take the bull by the horns and tell them, I am sure you understand that things may be a little difficult but remember that parents love should be unconditional and hopefully they will respect you for who you are. Best wishes.

Answer 4

This really depends im afraid. How would my parents react if I crashed the car? Maybe they would shout at me, but also they could be thankful I didnt kill my self. What do your parents think of gay people? are they really homophobic? I have told my mom but not my dad yet. Most parents dont like it. Some will not want to talk to you again, others will need some time to accept it...others will be ok with it. Many times they already know..I hope for the best for you.

Answer 5

Expect them to freak. Most parents are upset enough about a gay child, but if you are talking about cutting something off, they will probably have a major trauma. Give it some time. Wait until the right time. Look for resources in places like the Human Rights Campaign.

Answer 6

You need to be prepared for anything. Most parents do not react well to news like that. Just make sure you have a strong support system if it does go bad when you do tell them. Good Luck

Answer 7

I don't know if there is a right way to come out, but I would suggest that you do your homework before you tell them. It has taken my mom a couple of years to come to terms with it, but every day our relationship gets better. You know your parents best so how to tell them really depends on your relationship with them.

Also, for all the people saying wait. If you are truely female in your heart and mind, waiting will be one of your biggest regrets. But, if you aren't willing to be open and honest with yourself about who you really are, and you get it wrong, you will regret your decision even more.

Be willing to attend therapy sessions both alone and with your parents. Be patient. And remember: Your parent's respect and understanding is a gift, not a requirement. Respect their feelings, and do what is right for you.

Answer 8

Most parents would love their children and respect who they are they may not like it but they should respect you enough to accept it other parents may look down on you and even go as far as dis owning you it all depends on the type of people your parents are

Answer 9

I'm in a similar situation myself im a 17 y.o FTM i just came out to my parents a couple of days ago and the only thing i can tell you is to just b truthful.But i am who of the lucky ones, when i came out to my parents they accepted me even though they didn't like the fact that i was transgender

Answer 10

I let my dad start the conversation. He was pissed but he had had many months to realize it in his head. He finaly got so fed up with not knowing that he cornered me and asked me. I told him the truth and he screamed and yelled. A few days later he was making gay jokes with me and inviting my boyfriend and I out for lunch. I think the best advice I can give about comming out to parents is to let THEM do the work. Don't sit them down and tell them "hey I'm gay" let them figure it out for themselves and when they are almost positive they will ask you if you are. Be honest with them. Another tidbit of advice is to not answer their question if they dont ask you flat out. Many times parents will dance around the question of "are you gay?" by asking you if certian people are "hot" or by posing hypotheticals. Hold out until they are ready to ask you like a human being. Many people don't realize but your family must come through the same comming out process that you went through. It will take them time to fully accept and understand you. It'll all be ok.