Does one stay and muddle through for the sake oft the kids or do you stop the destructive rot and end it - which takes more courage?
2006-08-24 12:35:11 · 29 answers · asked by white.creative 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends upon the marriage, but leaving is the hardest thing of all to do because it is a leap into the unknown and that takes a great deal of courage.
I walked away from a destructive relationship and ended up living in a Woman's Refuge for Victims of Domestic Violence with my children. I did it because I did not want to end up as a murder statistic. Even then, there were times I would have gone back to my familiar life and surroundings.
2006-08-27 10:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying it in takes more courage, since giving up no matter what is the easier. Staying with it for the kids is an additional point, but staying in it because that is the person you will Love no matter what is the true courage. Loving doesnt meant sex or getting the usual acknowledge. Loving means no matter what, this person is as part of me as my own kids and nothing can change that.
Im not married nor have kids, but thats my take on it...if you have the courage to fall in love, to marry and to have kids, then have the courage to love selflessly and because you once did love that person too.
Hope this helps
2006-08-24 21:32:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my parents left me when I when I was really little and now I constantly wonder why it happened to me of all people. It may take more courage to stay in the relationship but it does a hell of a lot more damage when you leave. It is all up to you and I don't really think that we can tell you which one takes more courage. They all take courage but in different ways. If you stay, then you can consider yourself brave for being there for your kids. If you leave, then you just flat out have some guts to walk out on a family that you help started. Once again it is all your choice.
2006-08-24 19:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by lady_ellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes more courage to leave. It is much easier to stay with what you know and much more strength to break away and go into an unknown world. It is best for the kids to leave if the relationship is bad and affecting them negatively. Just remember that what they live through now they will lead the exact kind of life as adults. Good luck!
2006-08-24 19:40:42 · answer #4 · answered by indymama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leaving. Definitely.
Yep. I've just recently been in exactly this situation - no violence, but no love either, and a whole lot of arguing, tension, stress & unhappiness. I stayed with the relationship for nearly three years after it got bad, not for my son's sake, but because I didn't want to leave, then discover that I'd made a mistake, as it would be even harder to reverse the decision once made.
Also, staying for the kids is a cop-out excuse for not doing what needs to be done. I'm not going to be any less of a father to my son just because I'm not with his mother anymore. Far from it. I'm already finding that because the stress and tension is over that we can spend more time together, and that time is less strained and more enjoyable. For both of us. And if anyone would like to imply that I'm a bad father for not wanting my son to suffer because of OUR problems needs their head seen to.
His mother and I are now able to get along a lot better because we were honest with each other and know that it had to happen, for all of our sakes.
Anything that involves massive change in your life is going to be more difficult than just going along as things are, but in this case I found that difficult as it may be, it's less damaging than living in misery and constantly arguing. That affects everyone in the household negatively. Change is always difficult, but when was anything beneficial easy?
I'm not saying that everyone with difficulties should up and leave - I'm also not implying that you should wait three years (I know that I should have acted sooner myself), just don't let you and your kid(s) suffer because you don't have the guts to confront and deal with the problem, no matter how difficult it may be....
2006-08-24 21:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by Purecheese 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it takes more courage to leave but it is the best thing to do. i dont believe in staying for the sake of the kids, i believe in leaving for the sake of the kids. if a marriage is abusive, it will affect the kids, they are better off out of that situation. kids are not stupid, they will soon realize somethings wrong. if the marriage is happy, its good for the kids, if not, its bad. no one deserves to be stuck in a bad relationship, it just causes hurt and misery. its better to leave and move on and find the happiness u all deserve.
2006-08-24 19:53:13 · answer #6 · answered by crophilia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about which takes the most courage----Make certain you the best thing for both you and your children. Think long and hard about it----make sure you are right. Then in your case, pray for the courage to do that thing, and that thing alone. Many people go through this, but how many NEVER get it right?
2006-08-24 19:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by Bill M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It definately takes more courage to leave. You can just let youself get in the routine of a relationship and lose the reason why you first fell in love. Then the relationship becomes useless to you. To leave what you're use to take courage.
2006-08-24 19:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by Darrens_sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When Kids are involved, you have to put them first, If the relationship is detrimental to their health, you have to have the courage to leave, because this make your children nervous, frighten,etc. And you are important also, your kids do not want to see, dad, being mad to mom, It is going to take more courage to walk out that door, to face the world, by your self. It will be hard at first, but as time goes by, it will get better. I, wish you all the best.
2006-08-24 19:45:22 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if there is violence, either physical or emotional, then I think it's better to en it, BUT if it's because you are getting into many arguments, because you "feel" you don't love your partner anymore, you don't "feel" in love, etc. then I think it takes more courage to stay than to leave... I think that's why there are many divorces in the world, because we are not willing any more to make sacrifices for the ones you love, we are not willing to give and want to make happy to your significant other, we have turned so selfish that we want to only receive and receive... Have you ever thought how many marriages would have been saved if the couples, both sides, were willing to make happy each other?
2006-08-24 19:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋