is asking your wife to sign a pre-nup offensive?

Question

Before I got married my wife took my asking her to sign as an indication of me having doubts when I seen it as " just in case "

I had already bought my house before we were married and if something were to happen with us i felt better knowing that I cant get jacked.

If you have money I think it's a must otherwise how do you know she isnt just in it for the dough.

she did sign it but I dont see why some people are bothered by it..... her mom wanted her to reconsider

Answer 1

Well, if you have to wonder if she's in it for the "dough" (as you put it), then perhaps you shouldn't marry this person.

I know what you mean about protecting yourself legally, but if the house is your concern, perhaps draft it so that you're only saying she can't touch the house if you divorce - that sounds more agreeable. However, just from reading your question, it sounds like you have other issues and possibly another agenda.

Answer 2

With my first marriage, I was young and probably would've taken offense to signing a pre-nup. Now that I am divorced and remarried, I understand the consequences and if my current husband had asked my to sign a pre-nup, I would have because if I had a lot to lose, I would do the same thing and I am the type of person who believes in honest work and want to keep anything I have earned. I think it depends on the partner you or anyone wants a pre-nup with. We all have different reasons to take offense or agree to one with. My ex's new wife is with him for the dough and he just can't see that. I left him voluntarily without trying to wipe him out because he worked for what he has, just doesn't appreciate a good thing when he had it.

Answer 3

NO it is not wrong, the is the intelligent thing to do,
I hope your wife does not resent you.

You have every right to protect what is yours, and you married her so you love lher and want to share this with her, and she should be grateful, not resentfull.

After all you are not marrying as a rehearsel, yet there are no guarantees, and when people are in love, they see only what they want to see, and if the years change you and you do not change together, sometimes, you drift apart
anyway not meaning to lecture you, i do respect you, for this, as unfortunately our human nature (men and womens) IS to strike back if we are hurt, and sometimes it gets ugly and unfair,
what you had before you married, is yours, and the same with her,
from the day you marry, everything is fifty fifty,, and that is fair,

My second husband was a sucessful Real Estate broker, and owned approx a million dollars worth of properties, units, etc, before we met,
we were getting married, and his attorney friend reminded him of the pre nup and he was too macho, and would not lhear of lit, and i was willing to sign it.

Anyway, we made a mistake marrying, and got a friendly divorce and i am sure he held his breath,
but i signed off everything, as it was not mine, even though he added my name,
and i am proud to say, i did not entertain the idea of punishing my x by going after what was not mine..
and that is my great boastful story to share with you,

and if i ever get a marriage offer again i will do the same, and be grateful that i found a man who is willing to share his life with me..

I DO KNOW THIS IS LONG, AND SORRY ABOUT THAT,
BUT I NEEDED TO RESPOOND TO YOU

Answer 4

In my honest opinion, I see it both ways only because yeah when your with someone money should be equal. I'm not saying I'm going to use 10 times more of both mine and my boyfriends however it should be equal however I don't think if divorce were to happen, she shouldn't get a penny of yours because it's yours you two are spliting up, it's back to every man for themselves so to speak. So no she should understand about the pre nup if not try and explain it's not having doubts it's being able to be financially stable when and if something does occur as the same thing with her. Have her buy her own car in her name (or both but it could be just for her so in case something does go down, she has stable credit so to speak.....the car would be hers as would the house for you). Good luck

Answer 5

Personally, I see marriage as a lifetime commitment. I guess I'm optimistic. I would be totally insulted if someone asked me to sign a pre-nup. To me, if you can't trust someone with everything you own, you don't trust them enough to marry them.

This is just my opinion and I know pre-nups can be valuable in today's world when no one can be trusted; but I can see where your wife is coming from.

Answer 6

She may have signed it to let you know that she's not a gold digger, or in the relationship for the money. She may even hope that in time you will see this about her and tare the pre-nup into pieces because you truly love her like she does you.

Answer 7

enable me ask you this: Why the hell might want to your spouse get 0.5 of what your mum and dad left you? The divorce regulation would not make any experience. positive in case you married and also you earned this wealth at the same time as married, then i imagine the girl is entitled (most of the time). what's owned previously a wedding ceremony should be untouchable. positive there are aholes accessible that do not supply a dam about how their spouse will live to inform the tale once they get divorced, yet on what grounds is your ex entitled to what your mum and dad left you? no longer something!

Answer 8

yes and no . are u asking her to do this because you don't trust her , which would be my 1st thought. And is she going to be expecting this ? Things can always go wrong in any type of relationship ,maybe if your worried about your future if something was to happen, like the d word , I can't help but wonder if your ready, get some premarital advice together and you wont be walking blind nor will she

Answer 9

If a women loves you she will sign and not think anything of it..
As a women with my own home and land.. I had it all put in my son's name so no one could use me... that way the kids would never have to pay taxes on it when my days on earth are over...

That could be something you could do to make sure your kids or other family members would get it and no one else.

Answer 10

i don't agree with pre-nups, because i like to give in completely to love, and doing a pre-nup means that you have some doubt, and that is not a good thing, as you should trust that the relationship is going to last.