mamma drama(PLEASE I NEED ADVICE)?

Question

i am in love with the man of my dreams. he treats me like a queen. we have been through alot. well my mom dose not except us for the fact he is black and i am white. some stuff has happend. and now i constantly here my mom putting me down and talking so much stuff about me to my hole family. she has mannaged to turn my family aginst me. and it herts me so much to here my mom and her drama. and put me donw to everybody but she wont say it to my face. she is happy and in love with a man who has laid his hands on her phiscally, and cheated on her more then once. but yet she is still with him. i am in love with this man i am with. but my mom is ruening my sprits. she has even hit me and pulled my hair. ext.. when we get into fights over this issue. i have truely lost my respect and love for her. i fill like she has became my worst innime. i dont know what to do anymore. i fill like i have to shut her out of my life jus so i can be happy. PLAESE HELP ME

Answer 1

I think you must be young, because your spelling is horrible, so just wait things out and do what makes you happy, your mom will understand eventually.

Answer 2

Unfortunately your mom is racist. That is just a fact and nothing you can say or do is going to change that. She is probably hurting you because she feels like you are hurting her by being with this guy. I know this is hard but one thing you have to remember, is your mom is your mom forever. She may not approve of your choices and you may not approve of hers, but in the end you both do love each other even if you can't show it or feel it sometimes. You have to learn to live your life and be proud of who you are and your values regardless of anyone else. Focus on making your life the best it can possibly be and still find a way to keep the door open to at least some kind of relationship with your mom. Hopefully over time she will see your life is something special and accept that while she doesn't approve of your choices they ended up working out for you.

Answer 3

Honey, my heart goes out to you. In no way, shape or form should your own mother be treating you this way. I was appalled to hear what lengths she has gone to. I can understand her not being able to accept the interacial thing, some parents are just like that, but to go to such extreme's is rather disturbing. As much as it hurts, in your situation, I think shutting her out of your life may be your only solution to keeping your sanity. She's on her own self destructive path with her husband, don't let her drag you down with her. You have a great man who is loving and caring. That's more than some of us hope for. You hold on to him and let your mother go. I know you want her approval and acceptance, every child does, but you aren't going to get it, especially with her ignorant ideals and child like behavior. Take the high road and be who you are. We can't help who we fall in love, but we can control what influences are loved ones have. Hopefully in time, your mother will grow up and come around.

Answer 4

It is very hard when families have issues. Unfortunately you can't always change the way people feel. They either accept the way you feel or not. You need to decide if this man is worth losing your family for. If the answer is yes, then you need to do what your heart and head is telling you and hope that one day they will come to see how happy you really are. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

WOW! I'm sorry your going through that. Back in 97, i broke up with the woman of my dreams because of my family. I'm black and she was white. I've since moved on and currently happily engaged but still think about what could had been. She was a great woman.

You really need to answer a couple of questions in order for me to give you the best advice.

- do you live with your mother?
- how old are you?

Answer 6

I can say a lot about your mother for behaving like that but I'd rather advise you to do a self-check. Are you ready to be independent? You think your love for the man is worth your alienation from your families and relatives? If you answer Yes to both, then leave your family and live your own life.

Answer 7

Interracial relationships are very difficult for many to accept.
I wonder how old you are because if you need your parents' approval then the relationship is always going to be strained.

If you are living on your own then and supporting yourself then you will have to forgo your family's approval and just concentrate on what makes you happy.

If mom's disapproval is going to bother you psychologically, then you will end up resenting your boyfriend and eventually it will destroy your relationship with him.

Decide what it is that you want and need and if it is this relationship then tell your mom, "I am sorry that you can not be happy for me but I love this man and nothing you can say will change that."

If she refuses to accept it, keep your distance from her.

Answer 8

Well I think your mom is being shallow..its ok to be concerns and have opinions but as long as your mom sees you happy that should be the main concern...No matter what shes still your mom so respect is always in person...be strong and you follow your heart and dreams Good Luck

Answer 9

ON the black and white issue everyone bleeds red! Maybe your mom dosent want you with him because she sees things in him that you cant see because you are so young.Just because your mom has been in a relationship where she has been hit doesnt make it ok.

Answer 10

Maybe your mom's jealous of your relationship. I went through the same thing with my mom, except that my husband is white and I am hispanic. But we were older than you are. Hope things work out alright!