She started seeing an ex-BF, didn't lie about it, told me about it. I decided if she needed that it was cool. Now she wants a temporary separation. She says she loves me and she wants to be with me, that she just needs this time to step out and have some fun before she gets old. We've been together a long time. She wants me to do it to, I don't want to. Do you think she's just tired of me and trying to find a way to end it?
2006-08-24 10:33:25 · 33 answers · asked by A B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She can go to hell and you should go straight to divorce court!!!
Who is she to have you sittin by waiting while she goes out and acts like an animal.
She should have done that before you guys got married!!!!!
The only thing that is out there is AIDS and you dont want that!!
2006-08-24 10:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by PG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is WHY have you put up with this?
Was this part of your vows when you married????
I think what she is doing is keeping you around for a safty net. If the current bf/lover leaves her, then she always have you.
Is this how you saw your marriage working out?
If she wants some excitment......then it is you she needs to be pl aying with, kick up the excitment in the sex area, go on day trips. Study some sex books.
Geesh.......man, she is treating you like a fool.
Lets say she ends it with the x bf and moves back in on you.....would you ever trust her again? Or wonder how many times she needs to leave you to brighten up her life. It is YOUR job to brighten up her life/
Why are you so placid about this. Does your wife know that you are a whimp and she can walk all over you. Do you like being a doormat?
Time for the wife to come home and be YOUR wife, and get some excitment with her husband. NOT with the old bf.
2006-08-24 10:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, that is what she's doing. But, she is trying to have her cake and eat it too. Don't let her do that to you. There is no such thing as a temporary seperation. If yawl are going to be together, then be together, if not, then so be it. Don't sit around and wait on her either. You go and find you someone, but don't do it to get back at her because you might mess up a good thing with the person you are really meant to be with. Forget about her and move on!
2006-08-24 10:37:42 · answer #3 · answered by sr04model 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know her so i cant say what she is thinking but i kind of went through this in my marriage i love my husband to death but when your with someone for so long you kind of forget who you are so there was a time that i asked him for a separation because i wanted some me time to go out and have fun. But while i was out " having fun" i was reminded of why i loved him because you run into so many jerks that could never treat you they way you husband or wife could and it made me remember how much i loved him and wanted to be with him forever. I never crossed that line of no return though and i hope your wife doesn't either. i wish you guys the best of luck.
2006-08-24 10:49:01 · answer #4 · answered by jenn03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is in a rut and stating to play the old "what if" mind game. If she wants to step out & have some fun, why don't the two of you do it together? If it's really another man she wants, it's up to you if you could allow that & then take her back when she finds the grass isn't always greener.
2006-08-24 10:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In society's perception and as well as religiously speaking, we understand that marriage is sacred & have to stay loyal with each other. Indeed, I'm surprised why you're cool about it. Give her the time she wanted but stay loyal to her. It's going to hurt your marriage a lot! Will it hurt you personally? If yes, then fight for your love or marriage. Don't let her do that. Spend time with her, take a vacation so she will forget her ex. Talk to her about it. Find the spark again in your relationship. Find a way to win your wife again.
2006-08-24 11:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by denathene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might let her know the stepping out days ended when both of you said I DO. Ask her if she would like for YOU to look up an OLD GF and go and see her and start things back up again. That should smack her in the face with a reality check.
It doesn't sound like you deserve this type of treatment, and if she persist, find someone who isn't eager to find their old BF.
2006-08-24 10:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's not trying to end it, but she is trying to find a way to cheat and make it feel like she's not cheating. Nip this in the bud now, or get a divorce and be done with it. She wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. She wants to play and sleep around but she wants you there as her husband to fall back on so she isn't growing old alone, and so that she doesn't have to worry or try to make it work with someone else.......... she has already paid for a wedding and gone through the 'getting to know' stage with you. She is only trying to save herself from hassle. And you are letting her get away with all of it. Blessed be.
2006-08-24 10:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's tiring to find herself and what she may really want in a long term relationship.If you love her go to couples consulting , it really sounds as if you to need to at least try and work things out. But it would be a really bad idea for you guys to see other people, it wouldn't make your relationship any stronger instead you will lose her to the other guy! Think about it could you really live with the idea that some other guy is sticking his dick in to your wife? try to stay Sain.
2006-08-24 10:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by Toria T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard situation. Women go through this, men do also, men usually just cheat and get caught and the relationship goes to shambles. Your wife is doing the right thing by being honest with you, this means she loves you and cares for your feelings. Her honesty may hurt u, but u will feel releived of knowing. The seperation may be good for you both, this may make both of you realize how much you truely love each other, or it may let you realize how much you may not. I want a happy ending for you both, I pray that she realizes she has a good husband and comes back to you and I pray you have open arms. Some women need to see for themselves that the ex -BF is not the one, she will start noticing the reasons they fell apart and she will come back to you daddy! If you love her, wait for her, try your best not to get yourself in in tempting situations. Just pray and wait for momma to come back home. I think she will. I will be praying for you. Accept her honesty without getting angry, I know its hard, but she will love you for it! Continue to be honest with her also. Don't let her hurt u too bad, Love yourself 1st!
remember if u let go and she comes back to u, its meant to be, if you let go and she doesn't come back, God has something better in store for you....the best is yet to come.
2006-08-24 10:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by smoody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together? It sounds like she loves you, but wants a thrill. I'm surprised that you're so cool with it....if you really are. Trouble is, when someone moves out, I think something changes and they never make it to moving back in together.
2006-08-24 10:36:31 · answer #11 · answered by medium_of_dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋