How do you explain to your daughter of 21 that her daughter 3 should come before her wants and how lucky she?

Answer 1

I would first begin by explaining that by having a child, she has already voted to put another persons needs before her own. If a person has not matured enough to put a childs needs before their own - they should not have children. Now that they do - they can chose to mature and have an enjoyable time loving or they can chose to not mature and both she and the child will remain miserable.

Answer 2

This has to an idea that has to be explained to her at a younger age. The greed (attitude) didnt happen over night, she had to get it from somewhere. Apparently, according to your question, she has no value on anything that truly matters. Its her way or not at all, im guessing by (again) your question. At this age, its all but done, she probably needs a true "culture shock" to bring her back to how she should know to be a better parent. She needs to always know that the concerns and needs of the child is always first. That child didnt ask to be brought into this world, now she has a responsibility to the child and herself to do the right thing. There are parental guidance classes that you can enroll her into, that are even paid for, that could probably solve this. Check with your local politicians or authorities. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Not to judge, but I assume that this child was unplanned? I am a young mother myself, my son is almost 2, and I am only 24. Your daughter needs to realize that the person her daughter will become is going to be based on how well she takes care of her daughter. I had a young mother, mine was 20 when I was 3, but I know I was my mother's world. It might help to find a young mother's group for your daughter to join, it will give her insight as to balancing her needs with her daughters. it might also give her an outlet to vent on the troubles and headaches of being a young parent. I'm not an expert, but I know it can be stressful and at times all you want to do is scream and pretend you don't have a child, but the reality is that we as young parents have children, and so we have to be the best parents we can be, and be the role models we want the children to look up to, or we can only blame ourselves if they turn out wrong.

Answer 4

You need to tell her that her daughter needs her love and attention right now because when that little girl grows up she will have ressentiment against her, it will probably affect her later on in her life.

And if one day her daughter is in trouble she is not going to trust her to talk about it because they are not close.

This happend to me my mother was never a friend to me I never had love words or kisses from her when I turned 15 I moved in with my boyfriend and came back home when I was 17, Then I had my daugther when I was 20 and I would never like my daughter to be distant from me I want to be her best friend and the first person that she turns to when she is in trouble and most important of all I want her to have the best memories of the love I have for her and of her childhood.

Friends and fun will come and go but her daughter will be there always.

Answer 5

i think telling her something like that will stir up trouble, she may thinks shes doing a great job, and if you directly tell her shes not she might take an offense give her a little tip now and then dont make it to long a sermon, just tell her what a great job she is doing and how lucky the baby is to have a great mother like her a little praise will go a long way, love your daughter for what ever she is love goes a long way dont try to bring up her child the way you think is right, these days daughters have their own ideas and think mothers are meddling lot so i dont really know if this would help you but give it a try and best of luck

Answer 6

Many people like myself can't have a child have you pointed that out to her? Also you need to be tough sit her down and explain to her, that when you become a mother your needs come second your primary focus is that child! She was young when she had her obviously...My thought is, if you are old enough to have sex you are mature enough to handle the consequences. You could also ask for help from a county social worker in your area. Good luck to you. I hope she realizes what a gift she has.

Answer 7

i am also 21 and my son will be 3 in jan. my son always comes first before anything i want or need. my mom had me when she was young too so when i grew up i told myself i would never do what my mom did to me. If someone is always willing to take care of her child then she has no reason to put her daughter first. i dont have anyone so i have to put my son first. maybe she needs someone her age that has a kid to talk to If she wants my e-mail is [e-mail] i'm more than willing to talk t her

Answer 8

you should try and invite her to dinner alone (because you never want the 3 year old to be there) and during dinner talk to her about the roles of a parent and let her now what kind of damage she could be causing to her daughter. DON'T hold back on what's on your mind about her and her daughter. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 9

OH good luck with that one. Most kids these days only want what they want and dont care about their kids. I have a daughter 29 and I am still fighting with her over this very same subject. Dont give up though, keep on keeping on. God bless you.

Answer 10

My parents ran into the same situation with my sister. And unfortunately I have no answer for you. My sister came to her senses after my parents threatened to take away her son. They just tried to help her out as much as possible and take my nephew on the weekends. Finally they hired an attorney , but my sister did love her son and worked with my parents to convince them she would take care of him. Its hard with mothers who are young and want their independence.
Good Luck !!!