When it comes to love, why do we listen to our hearts instead of our head?

Question

When you are in a relationship, why is it so easy to ignore the bad stuff? When your head sees the relationship for what it is and it's not great, why can't the heart let go?

Answer 1

Love is stronger than smart thinking. We all want to be loved and to love someone else and the head/brain has nothing to do with love... it's all in the heart.

Answer 2

Because for one using the mind comes with all that logic and the truth about someone. The heart really wants to deep down find love and acceptance from one special person, that will always be on your side and there for you. So when that is the deep down desire, you are willing to forgo seeing the bad stuff because you at least feel even if he isn't the right one or she, they are that person giving me the acceptance I need right now. As for why your head see what the relationship is about and as for your heart letting go, means you would lose that one person that made you feel special, no matter how messed up the other person was. And now you have to go out there and find a new special person to be there for you. By far I think that scares more ppl than they are willing to admit to.

Answer 3

Cause they have different agendas. Your head is out to protect you, your heart just wants to love and be loved.

It's easy to over look the bad stuff cause we're infatuated, which is a really fun place to be. Unfortunately, it causes us to make really bad decisions. Then when the bond is there, we don't want to let go, cause we want to keep that infatuated feeling. We find security in the relationship, a sense of comfort, even though it may also cause us pain.

Plus there is always the fear of "if I leave this relationship, will I ever be in an another one".

It would be nice if the heart and head would actually work together once and a while, but we're human, and we deal.

Answer 4

Having just married (again) I can tell you that I was really scared and sought out answers to lots of questions before I walked down the aisle. 2 of the Best sources for life changing, eye opening information came from a CD set I bought called Understanding Men/Celebrating Women and "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix. A year ago, my now husband and, I attended a seminar based on Imago Therapy created by Harville Hendrix. Oprah even had the guy on her show and has him listed in her top 20. The information is so good, I swear you want to climb on top of the roof and yell it to everyone. You wish everyone could know what you've learned. Look it up on the internet. Most of what we do is based on subconsious instinctual need for survival. Once you understand what is going on, why you choose the people you choose (even when they are 'bad' for you) why men & women behave the way they do, understand developmental stages of people, life and relationships become so clear! The fog is lifted. Give it a try. Look them up. I promise you won't regret it!

Answer 5

People fall in love with the IDEA of what they want a relationship to be. They fall in love with their idea of who that person is. They convince themselves things will change and don't want to let go of their idea and their dream. They will eventually, once that initial infatuation stage wears off and real life sets in. Unfortunately many people find themselves married with kids before that happens. I think if people would just wait until thats over, until they honestly see the bad side of someone and still want to be with them the divorce rate would drop dramatically. They also don't realize that loving someone means loving all of them, the good and the bad, not picking and choosing and thats what you hear...I love the way he _______ but I HATE _______. I think in that initial infatuation stage you have hormones and brain chemicals working against you, when they settle down THEN the common sense kicks in and usually that adds up to a divorce. I also think people get involved in things too fast, that could also help your head rule the situation...not giving up what you do otherwise just because being with that person is so great in the beginning, staying in touch with yourself and your life before them helps, but few people do that either.

Answer 6

I don't know, if you ever get the correct answer to this question, please let me know. A lot of people would say that we (the ones who don't let go when we should) are needy. I wouldn't agree, or maybe I would but only to a certain extent. Which brings up another question, what is needy? anyways, thats not the question here, I think for the most part, we are hopeless romantics looking for love, companionship, to be loved. And we find ourselves attaching to whoever walks through the door. I have yet to learn how not to do that, but if I ever learn it, I'll be sure to let you know.

Good question!

Answer 7

Because if we just listen to our heads then we would never fall in love. Our hearts see a deeper part of that person.

Answer 8

I think, ideally, it's a combination of both. You need your heart to accept the imperfections, and to overlook certain things that make each person unique and which cannot be changed whether we like them or not. But you do need your head to decide when enough's enough. The two don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Answer 9

i kinda know what u mean....i think its becuz deep down we really want the relationship to work.....our hearts have this incredible feeling and we don't wanna let it go......we believe what our hearts tell us is real and that what our brain is saying is tryin to ruin a relationship....i know becuz i kinda felt the same way....my current bf and i had some downs before we were goin out....everyone was sayin bad stuff bout him....cuz they THOUGHT they knew him...but they didn't....i was the only one that knew the truth and really knew him...the whole time i listened to my heart....cuz i believed in him...eventually i confronted him bout all the bad things people were sayin and he told me the truth...they were lies....and i know he was telling the truth cuz he was so serious and looked into my eyes....he told me that if he didn't care bout me then he wouldn't be sittin here talkin to me about it......but he was there....comforting me and loving me unconditionally....i guess what i'm trying to say is.....if u really really believe in what ur heart is tellin you...go for it....keep ur hope up....and it helps to get the person u love to really talk to you....our hearts aren't always wrong...sometimes they really do tell the truth....

Answer 10

because love is blind.. it truely is.. all it does is feels. i believe its the strongest feeling we have. we love unconditionally when we truly love and that is the way its suppose to be.. through the good and the bad...love is work bit in the end its all worth it. Our heart cant let go because honeltly somethimes our heart is foolish its not ruled on facts and reasons like our head.. but id rather be happy and in love and alittle foolish than factual and miserable lonely....life is too short!