So ive known my friend for 3 years and he is emo now, has been since right after i knew him, but we had some great times together, although the girl that i like is his stalker, but she says she is a lesbian (other story i wrote earlier), and wed bag on each other, he'd do something id call him a fag, and vice versa, stuff like that. Like a week ago he posted on myspace that he was bi, i dont know why he did it, i think he had to have some crush on a guy, but idk, cause i cant talk to him and ask normally anymore, and i cant ask him even normal questions because I think he may think I'm comming on to him or something like that. I mean he was the last person i expected to be bi, i mean we had close lockers all this time, its just creeping me out now, what should i do?
2006-08-24 09:26:03 · 16 answers · asked by Martin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Don't freak out!!!! When I was around 15-16yrs old my best friend told me she was a lesbian. I had questions and she was willing to answer them for me. I had known her for 10yrs so I felt awkward at first about asking questions but she assured me it was OK and I trusted her. I asked her if she had ever looked at me "that way". She laughed at me and assured me NO we where friends and that is the only way she thought of me. Of course for some strange reason I felt a little insulted....lmao. She assured me it was not that I was unattractive but there was a different bond with me as a friend. She has never came on to me and we have stayed friends.( we are now 30yrs old) If he knows that you are not interested in men sexually and you are his friend I seriously doubt he would ever try to come on to you. So relax. Don't let this destroy a friendship.
P.S. He was bi before you ever knew. He has not changed over night into someone else. So therefore there is no reason to all of a sudden feel strange talking to him. You did it just fine before you knew. Think about it.....why should it be any different now.
2006-08-24 09:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by geni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be there for your friend because thats what best friends do. Just because he is bi doesn't change who he is inside. You don't agree with his choices but you don't have to deal with the pressures that he is going to have to deal with and he is going to need a friend. If you are a good friend to him just tell him how you feel and tell him that you aren't into that. Now is the time that he is going to need you as a friend most of all. You didn't stop being your other's friend when you found out that she like other girls, did you? I know that it seems really weird now but unless he comes up to you and say: I want your body, then I don't think that you have anything to worry about, but he is your friend and I can just imagine how scared he is. Don't give up on your friend and if you are a true friend you will stick by him no matter what cause thats what a real friend does.
2006-08-24 16:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think this guy is a good guy? Do you consider yourself a normal person, in the sence that you can be trusted and not be prejudice? You said that you have been friends for 3 years now. What does it matter if he is gay or not. He is your friend. About the coming on thing, did he ever think that before? Did you ever think that he is gay, you said no, then it shoudln't be a problem now. Just except him the way he is. Talk to him about your issues and tell him how you feel. No it will not be gay. You have been friends, saty friends. Nothing should change just because he is gay. HE is still a person.
Good Luck
2006-08-24 16:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by angel20072002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny, I've known my best friend since the beginning of 6Th grade maybe a monTh before school had started and now were grown he has kids and everything.... I guess we've known each other for 10 years. when i was in the 10th grade he told me that he was bi and wanted me to meet his boyfriend and i told him okay because i wanted to be supportive but it really bothered me to see them kiss and hold hands ... it just wasn't right and i didn't like to be around him as much. My recommendation to you is to tell your friend how you feel about the situation, i told my friend everything i thought about it and he respected that to say the least he go over his phase in a year...
2006-08-24 16:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it with him. Let him know that while you are straight, you respect that he is gay and that you like having him in your life. Hang out with him just as you've always done before. If he is a true friend he should not make a sexual advance on you. He might think you hate him now or are ashamed to be around him now. Coming out is hard. He needs support.
2006-08-24 16:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's known you for as long as you've known him, right? So he knows you're hetero. Why would he suddenly think the same banter between you is you "coming on" to him?
Nothing has changed in him, except for something he's admitting now, when he didn't before.
Accept it just like you'd accept finding out his favorite food is something that makes you gag (say, Liver). Big deal - you don't have to eat Liver. But don't dump his friendship just because you don't like Liver.
2006-08-24 16:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, you need to pray for him and that he will turn from that lifestyle.
Secondly, just keep cool. Just because he likes men now doesn't mean he's interested in you. (no offense). If he was interested in you, he would have probably showed you some sign by now.
If it still just freaks you out, maybe you should just tell him how you feel. If it's too awkard, write him a letter, telling him that you are still his friend, but you have some concerns about your friendship. He should understand.
Good luck!
2006-08-24 16:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by Confuscious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your as good of friends as you say it wont matter that he is bi once you get over the initial suprise. He is still the same guy you joked with before. If it bothers you to the point that you can not talk to you were not a good friend to him, like you thought.
2006-08-24 16:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by muttsrbest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes your friend. You need to accept him the way he is. Him being bi should not change your freindship at all.
2006-08-24 16:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by andrea lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
accept him for whateva his decision may be... you cant judge a person because of their lifestyle... you claim to be his friend then be that friend regurdless of what his sexual actons are.. its life... if your friendship ever meant anything you'd still like him the same
2006-08-24 16:31:42 · answer #10 · answered by tazzxbox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋