Do you think this punishment was to harsh for my 15 year old?

Question

My 15 year old daughter is always coming home late, and is always with a different boy. she is a pretty girl and boys are attracted to her for a reason. I have spoken to her about how she should be more responsible with boys and her kerfew, but it had no effect. On sunday night she came home 3 hours after kerfew, and when i asked her angrily why she was late, she simply igno0red me, and when i asked her again she flipped me off, i then lost my temper, grabbed apair of scissors off of the counter, grabbed the back of her hair, and cut it as short as i could with one snip. she now has hair that is up to above her ear,and it used to be down to the middle of her back. Was this punishment too harsh??

Answer 1

Wow, that sounds very inappropriate and abusive. You should seek help to control your anger issues before something worse happens. In fact, sounds like family counseling is in order.

Answer 2

I would say it was pretty harsh, and the punishment doesn't seem to fit the crime. I understand you are frustrated, and it is easy to act irrationally when you are angry, but that seems like cruel and unusual punishment. What were you thinking it would accomplish? Did you think if her hair was short, it would make her less attractive, and less likely to be hanging out with boys after curfew?

I am not trying to make you feel bad about your actions, but I am answering your question honestly. In my opinion, your daughter is crying out for your attention. I don't know your situation, so I may be way off, but maybe you need to spend more time with her. Take her shopping, go to the movies together, play games at home together. Is her father in the picture? Often girls will spend too much time with boys if she is not getting enough validation from her father.

I am sorry you have to deal with a difficult teenager, it is not an easy job! Keep doing your best. Let your daughter know you love her, try to understand where she is coming from.

I hope this is what you were looking for. Good luck honey!!!

Answer 3

Yes, That punishment was not only harsh but it also did not have any thing to do with the reason why she was being punished. Meaning in the long run it will have no effect on her coming home late. A tip for the next time that happens is... wait until you have calmed down to determine your child punishment. If you don't then you will act out of uncontrollable anger and possibly regret what you did.
After you have calmed down have a conversation with your child (calmly and rationally) , while having the conversation make sure that you remain to act like her authority and not her best friend- that helps stop her from thinking that she is equal to you. What ever happens make sure that the rules and punishment is clear.

Answer 4

I personally think that as a parent, showing some tough love by way of taking a belt to her butt and a lengthly punishment would do some justice. She, as my child, would get the belt as well as punishment to her room where she would spend her time outside of school for at least a month. She wouldn't get any allowance yet her chores would still need to be done plus additional chores would be given her for her bad behavior. If she has a problem with dating I would limit her to the house indefinitely until she has shown that she is understanding of why she is on such punishment and then she would still be supervised heavily. If she continues to disobey and disrespect I would commit her to a home for incorrigible children and take her out only when I saw she was serious about getting her life in order I would take her out.

Answer 5

you are in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. Call the national hotline for domestic violence get some real help. The people here cannot help you. You are looking here for some validation. Ok you got it. You know the punishment was not harsh maybe dramatic. I would have taken the heater away. Seriously lady you have bigger problems get help now and early. I have step kids and what I say goes. For my kids and his. You may not be able to stay with him. Maybe you all need counseling. But find out

Answer 6

Yeah that may have been too harsh. Better would have not letting the situation get to that point. You have been way too lenient with her and now you are mad at yourself.

Personally I am in favor of the "spare the rod spoil the child" reasoning.

First time she back talked you, you should have knocked the dog crap out of her, and again and again and again until she starts to respect you.

Cutting her hair? What kind of a moron are you to ask if that was too much?

Keep up your top knotch parenting skills there and you are likely going to become a gramdma real soon.

Answer 7

i don't know about harsh, but the punishment was definitely immature.

Teenagers should be expected to rebel and be rude. The best thing you can do is show them how a mature adult handles a disagreement, and that is NOT by losing your temper and chopping off her hair because she hurt your feelings. It's hard, and I know, mothers are people with feelings, too, but think about what you're teaching her about how to handle herself in the long run. If you suspect she's sexually active, than you know there's NOTHING you can do to stop it. Sit her down and tell her about birth control and STD's and HOPE she makes the smart decision.

Answer 8

Ok, listen to me, you were not wrong. You may have overreacted a bit but my mom would've have beat me til I was black and blue. Your daughter is rebelling and you need to slap the sh!t out of her until she realizes that when you say be home by 10 her butt needs to at the door by 9:45!! Hair will grow back, but if your daughter gets killed or raped hanging out with all these different guys at all hours of the night, that can't be taken back. Let her know you are only trying to protect her and you don't want her to get hurt. And your daughter needs a reality check seriously!!

Answer 9

uh yea the punishment is too harsh do you know what people are going to say to her and about her at school she is going to be made fun of nad be treated like some weirdo you should have known better than that plus she is not going to want to talk to you any more..... wow you really screwed up you took her confidince level from what was most likley a 9 or 10 down to a negative -10

Answer 10

No wonder why she is ignoring you. You are a bad parent who don't know how to solve issue's and set down the rules.

If she miss's curfew, then she is grounded and comes home straight from school. If not, the cos will come and find her. If she wants someone to wait outside her classroom cuz she is so immature about curfew, then that is how it is.

Not you causing abuse and emotional pain that she will resent you for. How dare you cut her hair!!!!

How about she cuts yours? I bet you wouldn't like that either.

Grow the hell up and get some parenting skills.

Answer 11

yes it was harsh you could have found other ways of punishing her other than cutting of her hair. for example if she has a cell phone you could have took it away or cut her allowance in half or stop doing her laundry etc. there are many other ways of punishing her, because when you cut her hair off you could have accidentally cut her instead of her hair. maybe what you need to do in to sit with your daughter and have a talk you her to let her know that you love her and all you want to do is protect, or you can get her and yourself so counseling, hope my advice helps you and good luck with your daughter :)