"Eternal"
you think you reach the end
no feelings anymore
but flesh will not transcend
it never has before
again your parts decay
again they nourish birth
you feel another day, because
your soul is made of earth
2006-08-24 09:22:40 · 10 answers · asked by daniel.foster 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Thanks very much for your input, all!
2006-08-25 08:49:18 · update #1
I like the second half. The first half is...well..its lacking something. I can't tell what it is. I guess the rhythm is off..
2006-08-24 09:33:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the looks of the people your poem sucks.
2006-08-26 12:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Da Great 1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool poem!
2006-08-24 16:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by rivers! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your meter is off-doesn't scan-no punctuation- line breaks screwy...
2006-08-25 19:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by rhymer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
our soul is made of love.
i think another stanza mentioning God.
2006-08-24 16:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marvelous.
keep it up.
nothing lacking with the first stanza.
2006-08-24 16:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the proper metric?
Failed!
2006-08-24 16:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by Transgénico 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Very good. I love it!!
2006-08-24 16:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice poem.....good job
2006-08-25 15:07:32 · answer #9 · answered by bob slick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to answer your question
NO
2006-08-24 16:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by ML 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋