Here it goes..I married and had a child at 19. After 2yrs we seperated for 1-1/2 yr then got back together. The separation was me feeling unapreciated and not wanting to deal with his family anylonger. He was devestated and still in love when I left but all I thought about was myself. When I came back I had a ex whom I visited 1x after moving in, he found out and forgave me. We've been together now for over 8yrs and even had another child. Many times I feel disrespected because he is overly friendly with women. Plus, he is not very effectionate and I hate that. I have been totally faithfull and respectfull to him. About a yr ago he started to change and I found myself alone and ignored - at this time I started accusing him of cheating. Well about a month ago I found out he was cheated on me w/my cousins wife (a close friend) He says it was nothing physical but I dont believe him. We had been in theraphy for over 3 months when I found out. I feel foolish and betrayed. Advise?/Help?
2006-08-24 08:58:33 · 9 answers · asked by CALI_Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave. Skip the therapy and just leave. He has issues and HE needs to work them out but not at your expence.
2006-08-24 09:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by cindy s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot at stake here.
It sounds like you have both made some mistakes.
Regardless of what one of the other posters says -- you BOTH have issues to resolve and whether you stay together or not those need to be figured out.
I firmly believe you CAN figure this out and resolve your relationship.
I highly recommend retrouvaille. I have been in this personally for almost 8 months now and it has made a dramatic change in my marriage of almost 18 years. Retrouvaille can help you build skills and knowledge to work together to resolve your SHARED issues.
It is important that you both at least want to try -- even if you have no clue, you can both agree that you will try to figure this out.
You owe it to your children to at least give it some effort. By doing that you will be helping them learn how to keep from repeating your mistakes.
best,
cez
2006-08-24 16:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by cezzium 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem to me that your feeling a little bit guilty for wanting to be happy. If he was so devastated then he should have caught on to what it would take to keep you happy. He believes that you won't
go anywhere that's why he'll do it again. your still young and have
allot to live for (2 kids) & yourself. If your upset now the kids will sense it. Live a life, I've been on both sides of you situation.
2006-08-24 16:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by cmz003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated, and you feel betrayed? That IS lousy, but after all, you cheated after you two got back together- so how is his cheating different or worse than your cheating? You two obviously don't trust each other, and since a marriage rests on trust, I see no way you can stay married.
2006-08-24 17:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introduce him to the idea of a male chastity device.
2006-08-25 09:40:12 · answer #5 · answered by internetoptimiser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to therapy, and try to resolve the original problems you had. He, too, may have felt unappreciated, who knows.
2006-08-24 16:09:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He forgave you when you did your thing, now reprocicate in kind. You are in no position to judge.
Good luck
2006-08-24 16:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I SAY FORGIVE HIM AND KEEP TRYING HE AS FORGIVEN YOU RIGHT AND STICK TO THE THERAPHY
2006-08-24 16:06:28 · answer #8 · answered by preciousprincess1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world did you go back with him? STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Now you have to deal with it. I would dump him if I were you.
2006-08-24 16:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋