Baby Shower for second Baby? (Please read ENTIRE question first!)?

Question

I know it's not proper "etiquette" BUT here's the details:
My first was born at 24 weeks so I never did have a baby shower at all! Secondly it was 11 years ago!

I am torn on this one as part of me feels that it's a "greedy" thing and another part of me feels I miised out! Actually I missed out on a lot of things ALTHOUGH my MIRACLE BABY was the most beautiful, precious gift anyone could ask for... :-)

My girlfriend has brought it up several times and I just can't come up with a comfortable response! She wants to throw one early (just in case since I'm in high risk).

(Please don't respond with nasty comments as I have seen before... I am simply asking for help and suggestions, and NO I am not on welfare or anything llike that. I'm just feeling that I missed out on something with my first)

Answer 1

You did have a miracle baby. A baby born @ 24 weeks surely faced tremendous odds, having a low birth weight and facing months in the NICU. I am imagine that you stayed close to your child and gave him/her the support they needed while they grew strong enough to be taken home. May God always bless you!! You go girl have that shower and enjoy every minute of it!!!! Oh and make sure you get something special for yourself!! You deserve it.

Answer 2

No matter if you had a baby shower with the first baby or not, it has been 11 years and I would say you should defiantly have one. There is so much new items now for babies then what there was 11 years ago. And even at that, you probably don't have any of the items left from your other child. Let your friend throw you a baby shower and enjoy. Good luck. My friend has two kids, one is 9 the other is 5. She threw out all the baby items or gave them away because she wasn't going to have another baby. Now she is pregnant again and I am throwing her a a shower soon.

Answer 3

Congratulations on your miracle baby and the one on the way. As for a baby shower, I think it's a great idea. I don't think you are being greedy, your friend is the one who suggested it. If receiving gifts makes you feel uncomfortable, you can specify "no gifts". I had a great time at my baby shower and think it's something that all pregnant women should experience. Make it a day all about you, some spa treatments, some cute baby-games. This is a time to be selfish and greedy. You are going through a lot. You deserve it.

Answer 4

I say definately have one. I also had a baby at 24 weeks and never got a shower, baby didn't survive. I really wanted to have my shower at 30 weeks since my OB suggested it would be better. Well people waited and now my shower is planned for when I am 36 weeks.

It's been 11 yrs and you didn't have a shower the first time, you should take the offer of a shower and enjoy.

Answer 5

I think it would be a great idea for you to have a baby shower! Baby showers are about two things: celebrating an upcoming new arrival to your family, and helping the new mother acquire the baby goodies that she needs to care for the little one. I doubt you have very many baby clothes/toys/equipment left over from your first child 11 yrs ago, and there have been so many advances in infant care items since then. This way you get some new infant items to care for your newborn and enjoy spending time with family and friends. Just make sure your older child is involved in all of this too!!

Answer 6

I think it is okay for you to want a shower. You didn't get one with the last baby and it was a long time ago. You could tell your friend to put 'gifts optional' on the invitation, in case some of your guests think second babies don't deserve gifts.

I have been wondering about a shower for my second baby. My oldest daughter is only 2 but we lived very far from family when I was pregnant with her, so now that we live in the same town as them, I kind of wonder if they couldn't throw me a shower, since they didn't get to last time. I don't care if they give me gifts. But if no one asks me, I'm not going to bring it up.

I hope you have a shower and I hope you enjoy it!

Answer 7

How about having a shower for fun but not gifts? That way you'll get the experience without feeling odd. You will probably get some gifts anyway but people won't feel obligated to buy you large ticket items. You'll probably get clothes & gift certificates, which I suspect you could really use. Don't register and put somewhere on the invite that your guests "presense is present enough." Oh, and maybe call it a celebration rather than a shower.

Answer 8

You are not being greedy. Baby showers are about celebration of a new life...it just so happens that bestowing gifts is proper etiquette for the guests.
But if greedy is a real issue for you then ask that they not bring anything as gifts or make a charitable donation to a children's fund of your choice instead.

Answer 9

I say go for it. If you still have the furniture left from your first child, you can register for the newer things and necessities like diapers and wipes. Plus bottles and pacifiers and crib linens.

It was 11 years ago and as you said u didnt have the experience of a shower before. If i was a part of your life i would attend this shower with not even a thought that this is your second child, but a time to celebrate and welcome your new child.

Maybe you can have your older child help you register and pick things out for their new baby sister or brother.

GO FOR IT!! No regrets! :) Good Luck and stay safe!

Answer 10

I think you should definently have a shower, for sure. I too, had an early baby with my first and ended up having a shower after my son got out of the hospital. And I had a baby girl after him so I had to have a new shower. And my sister threw me a new baby shower for my daugther. I think every one should have a baby shower for every baby! :) I'll throw you one! hehe.
And if you do have someone throw you one, make them throw it early, just in case. And if all else fails, have them throw it after the baby gets here. It's fun either way. Good luck!!