Is your sex life/quality of intimacy in your marriage a reflection of your marriage as a whole?

Question

This was a question tossed about in a group of about ten of us--all late 30's or early 40's, half men half women. A pretty lively discussion! I was just curious as to how the masses would answer the same question. I'm not interested in "prying" or getting personal and am only asking those who feel compelled to answer.

I probably could have been clearer in the question, but for the sake of discussion, consider "sex" a type, but not the only, form of intimacy.

Answer 1

I believe that it is. My wife and I have been happily married for 11 years. There were a few years in the middle though where we had one problem, sex! I wanted it more than she did. Counseling didn't help us but we did learn to talk more to each other and truly open up about our feelings. Once we did this, our relationship grew and we became closer than ever. Along with it so did our sex in terms of quality and quantity. I can't speak for every relationship but at least for ours, our sex life/quality of intimacy is a direct reflection of our marriage! We also fit the age group you mentioned. I am 48 and she is 34
Good question!

Answer 2

No. Although I haven't been married many years, my husband and I have sort of come across this situation in our marriage. My sex drive is THROUGH THE ROOF compared to his, and sometimes it does cause issues when I don't feel like I'm getting enough. I have just had to learn to deal with the fact the I married someone with a lower libido, and he does make the effort to give it up a little more often than he normally would, because he knows how I feel. We both try to give a little, so that even though we haven't fixed the issue, we don't have to argue about it either.

Answer 3

Yes!
A sex life can change for various reasons and this can give an opportunity for a couple to explore a closer intimacy through non threathing communication. When the time of sex realtions returns to more of a satisying state for you, it will be so much better.
Take time to talk and be understanding for it will go along way in making your relationship a great one.

Answer 4

yes I believe it's a reflection of a relationship. if it's only about sex then that's all you'll do together. when you're married and that's the only time you see one another then the marriage is going to be just as miserable as the sex. so yes it does. I can't imagine being with someone I couldn't stand or vice versa. I think I'd die of misery. uh! I don't understand how people do it.

Answer 5

Intimacy for me is not always the same as sex..........if you feel close and can cuddle up when watching TV that is intimacy.....so too is making love. If you have intimacy then generally the rest falls into place......or if it doesn't then you can and should talk about it. If there is a problem with intimacy....as in feeling close then of course it will carry to the bedroom.

Answer 6

Not at all. Some people have differing degrees of sexual needs, however, that doesn't mean that their marriage is on the rocks or suffering in any way. However, if one spouse has a higher libido than the other, I think that the spouse with the lower libido should seek medical help so the spouse that needs and craves sexual intimacy doesn't feel left on the side or unappreciated.

Answer 7

NOOOOO. There is soooooo much more to marriage than the physical relationship.
Ask yourself, would I still love and want to be wtih this person if we could not have sex at all for some reason?
That honest answer will tell you a LOT about the health of your marriage.

Answer 8

To a point, I guess I would agree with that it does reflect on your marriage. If you have a great intimate relationship, it makes you more relaxed, confident, and carefree. But, if ALL you have is good sex, no-- there's a lot more to a marriage. i.e. Communication, friendship, respect, honesty, etc.

Answer 9

let me c would i still love and want to be with my wife if we could not let's say 4 some medical reason not have sex anymore?

so my answer is NO, sex is not a reflection of my whole marriage.

Answer 10

i know lotzz ppl might be of the opinion that itz yes!!

coz wud you feel like having sex after you get old?!?! it wudnt be in your strenghts at all!?!?

love is not just making love!! itzz more than that!! itzz when a heart connect with another heart!!!

thats y!! a skiny boy and a fatty gal can also be in love!! because of the respect and mutual understanding!!

(dontt tell me those skinny and fatty guys will by any chance get sexually attracted towards each other!! they can make love buht attraction... naaaaaaaah cant survive for long)