what should he do?

Question

my brother is married and him and his wife do not have sex anymore and he asked her why and she told him because she doesn't like sex and she never has. the only reason she had sex in the first year they where married was because she didnt want to lose him. what should he do. he loves her but like every man he need sex.

Answer 1

I think they should both see a relationship counselor and try to get to the root cause of this problem.

Answer 2

That is so sad and I feel bad for your brother. He should ask your wife what is the real reason why she isn't having sex with him. Believe me unless she was raped or molested, then she should have come clean to begin with. She should have told her husband thats how she felt about sex. Better yet she went into the marriage lying to him and therefore how can she truly say that she is honoring the marriage? She knew this to begin with, she is wrong. They both should seek counseling and if she still is holding out on him, he should think about a separation and I don't even believe in separations or divorce but eventually he is going to look else where and that was wrong of her to trick him into marriage like that. She doesn't desire a man like your brother. If you have to trick a man like she did then whats the point of getting married. Why in the world would you want to tease your husband like that?

Answer 3

The answer could be anything.

She may truly not like sex.

She may not like sex with HIM.

She may be having sex elsewhere.

She may have been sexually abused as a child and is not comfortable with sexuality.

She may be tired if she works and has children.

She may be sick of pleasing him, and wants him to please her.

But truly, the answer (at this point) is not divorce, and an affair on his part would certainly ruin everything.

At this point, therapy is the option. She should go alone, and they should go as a couple. If she's not willing (or him) then consider the marriage done. He's going to be unhappy and finally "break" and possibly cheat on her. Also, she should not have mislead him like that.

On the other hand though, sex ISNT everything.

But they need to seek counseling.

Answer 4

He needs to be honest about how he feels and talk with her about it. If you really love someone then no matter how much you are not into sex, you will want to occasionally at least. Maybe he can find out exactly why she doesn't like it because for someone not to want it at all then maybe something happened to her in her past. If that is the case then she needs to talk to someone professional and maybe he could help her through it then things will get better for him sexually.
I hope this helps.

Answer 5

They may want to look at counseling to find out why she has an aversion to sex. Maybe there's something in her history that accounts for this and counseling can help get to the root of the trouble. If counseling is refused he may want to reevaluate the relationship. Sex is a huge part of marriage and a way to show affection and desire and it can't be discounted. It's not the only reason to be in a relationship or marriage but it plays a role.

Answer 6

I'm not trying to be sarcastic or cruel, but I heard that the reason most married men don't like sex is because they're gay so maybe your brother's wife is a lesbian.

Answer 7

*Ouch*
There are a lot of reasons why she may not be enjoying sex.
She may have had an unhappy early experience.
She may not like her own body that much (maybe age or having kids has changed the way it looks). Maybe she's no longer in love with him.
Or he may not be much of a lover. I would recommend they get counseling as a couple--this is obviously very sad and painful for him, and a professional may be able to help them get closer. Tell him not to be nervous or uncomfortable about getting help--people have struggled with this kind of thing for millenia, and he shouldn't feel embarrassed. If he wants to keep the relationship, he should be willing to get help.

Answer 8

THAT IS A LIE!!!!! NO BODY *NEEDS* SEX!!!!

I get so sick of hearing that crap out of stupid little boys. He married her for HER not her ****.
That is such bull!!!!
Did his marriage vows say "for better or worse, in sickness and in health 'til death do us part or at least as long as she'll put out"? H*ll no vows don't go like that because that's not true love, that is men being stupid dumb@ss dogs!!!

There are 90 million other ways to show someone that you love them. That's where men f*ck up, they start to only concentrate on the only way they think they know how and that is what turns her the f*ck off. Show her that you love in other places besides the sack where you are really only loving yourself!

Answer 9

First of all there is no way she does not like sex, either he does not satisfy her or she is getting it elsewhere. Every women wants an orgasm, every single one. He needs to talk to her and find out why she says she doesn't like it. Maybe he can change somethings so that she will like it. Tell him to try new things. There has to be something wrong, he seriously needs to talk to her.

Answer 10

Honestly, I think it is an excuse for something deeper. Maybe she really doesn't want to be with him anymore. I know that I have used that excuse before..... I'm not a sex fanatic.... but I do it to keep my man happy... that's all that matters. He needs to talk to her and see what is going on deeper than sex.

Answer 11

Wow, I fell very bad for him! Talk about FRAUD!
Poor guy, does she really expect him to stay faithful if she dont give it to him? Do they have kids? Cause that brings up a problem, but if not tell him to leave her *** and go find himself a Scorpio! Or tell him to buy her some female sexual dysfunction pills or something! Wish I could help more!!!