Marriage: Give & Take or just Take.... how do you give without losing yourself completely?

Question

How does one commit to a marriage, where love is evident, yet decisions are one sided? How does one grow in a relationship without losing themselves?

Answer 1

The love may be evident, but it is the wrong love for one half of the people involved. Be clear, honest and firm about your feelings. Make a stand and do not under any circumstances commit to that marriage believing that this problem can be resolved later. A man who has grown accustomed to certain behaviors by his mate, will not change. I know. I lived the life that my mother and grandmother taught me by example, and at midlife, I am awakening to discontent after giving, and giving and realizing that I have lost myself along the way. Oh for a crystal ball...

Answer 2

I passed over alot of toads before I found the one. We didn't marry until I was 29 and he was 34. We love each other and we respect each other. Sometimes I get a little crabby but he whips me into shape. Sometimes he works a little too much and I make him take a break. You must respect each others decisions even if they are different. But I think in order to have a strong relationship, you have to have a common ground. I don't tell him what he can and can't do and I don't get upset when he spends alot of time with boys. He lets me go hang with the girls. Sometimes, you need to wait for the right one.

Answer 3

Marriage takes two. Both have to talk and comminucate. This is a must. If you cant talk about any and everything, then you dont have a marriage. If things are one sided, get help asap. Marriage is wonderful, but you have to have two people join equally. Let the other one know how you feel. Always be honest with one another and most importantly, yourself.

Answer 4

This is why it is so important to chose your mate VERY CAREFULLY.

I give 150%, because I know in my heart of hearts, when "for better or for worse" is showing the worst, that I (we) will still be his priority and he will make sure I am taken care of.

You can give (take care of) to another person, without losing yourself. You have to find balance. You have to learn to say "No, I can't do that right now"

Counseling is a good thing. My husband and I went to a counseling session unrelated to our marriage and we both learned things in that one hour because we are two open minded people who look to create a better life for ourselves. (I do not mean financially either)

Answer 5

hello, I'm married and sometime i think i made a big mistake but then there are those times were you look at him and think how could i ever live life with out him. but that dose not always mean that you have to get married but the way i look at it is when you get married it shows everyone even god that this is the one. that you want god and his children to know how far you will go for love. but its also a great day for you to be in the spot light!

Answer 6

What's wrong with loosing yourself completely? Both of you need to give 100%. Go see a christian marriage counselor.

Answer 7

marriage needs to be about communication and compromise and working together. decisions cannot all be one-sided...thats a dictatorship, not a marriage.

Answer 8

When you get married you and your spouse are no longer yourselves.You both have become one relationship,so there is NO more You and I,it is only US. You both are to think of the other instead of ME,MY,Myself.

Answer 9

who would want to be in a one sided relationship? Don't be a fool, you'll regret it terribly, it could ruin your whole outlook on life and other men

Answer 10

Its all or nothing at all,usually works best if you only give yourself 50% of everything.