Ok, the last few years I have realized that this has been a lifelong thing. I am a very happy person, and I love myself. I do not have any self esteem issues while at the same time, I'm not conceited either. I admit when I'm wrong, as well as help others in any way possible no matter what. However, I am continuoulsy accused of being mad or upset, when I'm not. When I try to explain that I'm not mad, normally people disagree with me, which really does kinda piss me off, lol. I don't know if this is something I can change or if I need professional help etc... but I thought I'd give this forum a chance to tell me what other people's thoughts are. Have any of you ever heard of a person having such a problem? I have done everything I can think of (waxed my eyebrows, changed my hairstyle, changed my clothing, etc...) but no matter what, people in general think I'm mad when I'm not. I'm really getting a complex about it to the point where I am about to just stop talking.
2006-08-24 08:19:56 · 12 answers · asked by Captiv Ateyou 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Wow, I appreciate all of the quick answers... in response to some of your answers, mostly it is work colleagues that think I'm mad when I'm not. I take my work very seriously, and when I concentrate I might have a look on my face which they are mistaken for me being mad. Also, I do speak loud by nature, but I don't shout. I am aware of it though and most of the time I can and do talk quietly, especially at work. I think people may be mistaking my concentration process as anger or something. My friends all understand me, but I've had to explain this to them - and they don't have a problem with it, but people I work with don't seem to believe me when I tell them that I am seriously not mad or upset. I believe I have actually lost jobs over this, which is why I thought I might have an issue that needs to be addressed by a professional. You guys are great! Thank you for all the answers and thanks in advance for those of you who haven't answered yet but will = )
2006-08-24 08:57:21 · update #1
actions speak louder than words
2006-08-24 08:26:56 · answer #1 · answered by BIG DADDY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well don't feel bad. I might be out somewhere and someone will just say are you mad.lol I have chalked it up as to the look on my face. I don't always smile and when I smile it has to be something good to smile about. I just don't run around twenty four seven with a smile on my face. I don't know what to really tell you either other then just tell the truth and be honest with people. It used to happen to me all the time, not so much now.Who knows why? I just don't smile all the time. You may be just like me to. don't let it get to you. Your just hanging out with the wrong crowd , I think. they may be jealous of you or whatever, picking at you a bit. Leave that crowd alone and find good descent friends that can see past your looks and know who you really are. Good Luck to YA!
2006-08-24 08:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, typically people can only judge what they "see" or "experience" on the outside... clothing, makeup, hairstyle, etc. which in general is a reflection of our "self" on the inside. If people are always saying you appear angry, perhaps it has to do with communication, and engaging in conversation.... do you engage others or must they speak to you first before you speak with them. Are you very private? People find it difficult to be open and vulnerable with others when they are the only ones sharing. I am not asking you to change.... just perhaps change your perspective, where you can try to see how others view you. If you will simply choose joy in your life, your actions and mannerisms will definitely reflect such. Everything is as it is, it has no name other than the name we give it. It is we who call something good or bad.... I wish you joy!
2006-08-24 08:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Mjshrm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe you are doing nothing to convey anger with your facial expressions or tone of voice then I can easily assume that it's probably your looks. You mentioned that you have adjusted your appearance but I suppose you just have one of those faces that exude 'anger'. I worked with a lady with the same problem, her tone of voice was pleasant and she was extremely nice but her face always gave me the impression that she was upset. My suggestion?: Explain to everyone close to you, individually if you must, how this is affecting you, maybe by you admitting vulnerability and hurt feelings will change their perception of you.
2006-08-24 08:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by cryingrainbow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you talk really loud?
Maybe you just have naturally agressive behavior that people precieve strangely.
I had a friend who had a really fake sounding laugh, everyone always thought he was being sarcastic or making fun of them. I'd warn people before I brought him by, "he's not making fun of you, that's just his laugh." People would thank me afterwards saying they would've been upset if they didn't realise what was going on. He's still that way to this day!
2006-08-24 08:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by rishathra7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have an angry "default face". Mine is usually angry or sad or unhappy in some way, even though I am not. I get "are you alright?" a lot. it's hard to change because I do it without thinking, if it's the same for you I'm sure you understand ^_^
2006-08-24 10:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by K-Flo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not know. Maybe it is just the way you express yourself that you come across a certain way with out you even realizing it. I do not think you need professional help. That is ridiculous. As long as you are happy with yourself and do not spaz out then you are fine.
2006-08-24 08:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by Kamunyak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, happened to me sometimes, but i just don't care.
now, if you care so much, i'd say: people are not all crazy, so i think you may LOOK mad, even if you're not. it's all about body language, so if you care you should begin monitoring yourself and changing the look on your face and stuff. just picture happy thoughts and you'll look happy, which is what people see: your appearance. they can't see your heart, or read your brain so take care of what you show 'em, i'll say.
2006-08-24 08:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by rayhanna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are stupid....I get accused of this from time to time, either by my wife, or the psycho biznatches that I work with. Only you know if you are mad all of the time or whenever. If you are never mad...then fahghetaboutit!!!
2006-08-24 08:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...obviously it's the rest of the world that's mad...and you're the only sane one.
2006-08-24 08:22:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋