My ex husband & I have 3 kids, a 4yr old boy and 2 1/2yr old twins. I left him because of domestic violence almost 3 yrs ago so I sent him to jail for it. I was 2 mos preg w/twins. We lived in Mn so I came back to Tx. He was out in a month, then 2 mos later he was incarcerated again for sexual assault. He was "dating" a 13 yr old girl (his twins sister in law.) They were caught having sex by her father and spent 23mos because of it. He was released as a sex offender. Now he has been in and out because his drug tests don't come out clean. I have been in child support court about 8 times but of course he never shows up because he's in jail. And they can't arrest him cuz he's out of the state.
If he pays child support and if he comes to Tx can he take the kids? Can he visit them here in Tx? What options do I have?
2006-08-24 08:16:28 · 15 answers · asked by pinkberry 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1st of all he is a registered sex offender which means he is on papers and no judge is going to give him any kind of rights to his children and the fact alone that he is in and out of jail so much helps you to have a better chance in court. You need to go get papers on your children. Although you are the parental parent, he is there father and has rights to them whether you like it or not so go get custody of your children like i'm having to do. My baby's father walked into my mother's house and took my daughter out of her arms and out the front door. I was told by the local police that I couldn't do anything because he was my daughter's father, and that he can do it again and this time if he wants to leave the states with her. So, for your own good go get papers on your daughter because a man like your husband doesn't seem to mind trouble and your children are too precious for you to play with their lives. I will be praying for you as I as that you pray for me.
2006-08-24 08:26:24 · answer #1 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't allow him to see them without a court order. Child support really has nothing to do with visitation, they are two completely separate issues. Paying doesn't entitle you to visits. You can put him off until he has one. Is getting support from this guy really worth him knowing where you are? Chances are that if you just dropped the support issue he would disappear in to the woodwork and may never even try to see the kids. I think I would prefer to support them on my own, this guy wouldn't have a clue where to find you if you hadn't filed, unless of course you told him.
First of all he has to stay out of jail long enough to hire an attorney and take you to court for visitation, he has to show up for court, and has to have the money to pay an attorney. He probably won't be able to get his poop in a group long enough to accomplish any of these things, especially if he does drugs. In the meantime, and in case he does get documented evidence of his status as a sex offender (part of his sentence should have been his requirement to register as a child sex offender), also his drug use and criminal history and copies of any actions (police reports, etc) regarding your domestic abuse case against him. Keep it all together so you are prepared to fight him in case he does show up. I would also keep a valid restraining order in place that covers you and the kids so that if he so much as comes near any of you he's violating the order, which would also violate any probation that he's on at the time and that alone could send him back to jail.
Also make sure you have some money put away so that if one day you are notified by mail that he has an attorney you can get a good one and can afford to protect your kids. If he contacts you it might also be a good idea to say you know they might play games with guys like you up there but they don't play in texas and you do NOT want to get on the wrong side of the law here, that may keep him away on its own. I know that a lot of this isn't fair and you are going to have to really work hard to take care of all this but we all make choices and this one wasn't such a good one, now its your job to protect your kids from your bad choice. I wish you the very best of luck.
2006-08-24 15:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You first of all need to get a court ordered visitation schedule set up. You need to ask for Sole Custody of the three kids and Primary placement. You also need to ask for no visitation rights for him due to the fact that
1. He was imprisoned for domestic violence, as now there is a new law stating that courts must take domestic violence into consideration when deciding on visitation.
2. He is a registered sex offender, you need to state that you fear for your children's safety.
In both of these instances, if he repeatedly does not show up for court, a judge will most likely grant you everything you ask for.
Also, if you already have Sole Custody no, you do not have to let him visit them, in fact you can call the police if you ask him to leave your property and he doesn't. Make sure if it comes to this you tell the police about the domestic violence and the sex offender information and that is your reasoning behind wanting him to leave.
But you might want to get a lawyer, because they can help big time in custody cases.
2006-08-24 15:26:15 · answer #3 · answered by Nails 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure about the laws in Texas, but the laws in Illinois state that you cannot deny a father or a mother visitation rights unless it is approved by the court. As a former law student I would suggest filing a petition with the Court asking to have his parental rights terminated. If you do not he has the same rights to visitation as you do whether he is a sex offender or not.
2006-08-24 16:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by allenh419 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you will never get any child support so I would not even try - I think you would be way better off "disappearing" so there is way less chance of contact with you in the future - I would move to a new address, keep an unlisted phone number and let friends and family know to keep their mouths shut - hopefully he will go away for a long time and you won't have to worry about him - sorry
2006-08-24 15:28:30 · answer #5 · answered by roadrunner426440 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best option is to check with an attorney in your state NOW as every state is different but as I see it, (I am a legal secretary by trade in Michigan), he should NOT be allowed around the children and if he is, I would request that he complete parenting classes, counseling, and visitations should be supervised by a 3rd party. I would also request that if is allowed to see the children, he must have a clean legal history for a certain period of time. If he really loves his children, we will meet all of these conditions without any problems.
2006-08-24 15:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by shewolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't trust him at all. NO visitation, just PAY, dooshbag. You need a restraining order against this guy & keep him away from you & your kids. Period. If the kids wanna seek him out after their grown, it's on them. But your job as the legal parent/guardian is to protect them... even from their abusive @sshole father if you must.
Be well~
2006-08-24 15:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Dookiee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hire an attorney, drop all the info about the ex on the attorney's desk and inform that attorney they better take care of this because there is no way in hell I am allowing my children to be around this man.
2006-08-24 15:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with a lawyer.
I think if he registered as a sex offender, he can't have any contact with children under the age of 18. So I would double check the laws for where you live.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-08-24 15:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by Illinoismom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a sex offender he cannot see children unless they are supervised visits, but I wouldn't even consider that. You will never get child support from this "loser" so I would move on and take care of them myself.
2006-08-24 15:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by Mechelle B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋