My husband and I have been married for almost 9 yrs .Ifound girls pics on his phone twice said it was not him.

Question

He has cheated on me in our first year of marriage.He's had a porn problem through out our whole marriage still.Lord knows what he did during his deployment he is in the military.He is know a recruiter so his job is finding people to join .He drives around all day goes to malls etc .Also found real girls pic on his phone says he did not do it big liar.I stay home all day with 4 kids two in school.My spirit is broken everything seems depressing i want to leave but he is a good provider and father.I have family but who wants to take in a women with 4 kids .I need advice .Sorry for the ranting feels good to get it out .thanks

Answer 1

There is no excuse for a married man to have pictures from another woman on his cellphone. He is addicted to the flirting and chasing women.

If your husband is a recruiter, he can get in VERY BIG trouble for this. In the military (specially in the Recruiting Command) they will nottolarate this kind of stuff. You can take a chance and tell him that you will tell on him with his commander if he continues with this behavior.

Also, since recruiters are gone all the time, they have one of the highest divorce rates in the Military, Because of this, teh Recruiting Command has set a Marriage Counselling and family theraphy program for Recruiter's families. Call Tricare or log into teh Recruiting command for more information.

Best of luck to you

Answer 2

Poor thing. But honey I have to say, you put yourself here. You accepted him that way (as a liar) Is there some reason you need someone to take you in? He can still be a good provider & father, doesn't mean he still has to be your husband..........Focus on what makes you happy & your kids. If you are are in a loveless marriage, you are NOT doing your kids any favors by staying with the "big liar". Do you want them to model their future relationships after their parents. You are the only one who can do something to change this situation. BTW I have four kids, & have been seeing a terrific(younger) guy now for almost a year now. But I had to get myself & kids out of a horrible ten year marriage first. Best Wishes

Answer 3

I hope you are doing things for yourself. I always suggest opening a bank account in your name only. Start putting a plan together because regardless of whether he is a good provider and father, you should not have to put up with this sort of behavior from him. He has no respect for you and is obvious about it. You obviously sense there is something wrong with his behavior, and as I always say, never ignore your instincts. If you are not working, find yourself at least a part time job. Or a job that will allow you to work from home. You need to plan your future with your children. Your husband is probably very comfortable with the fact that you are stuck at home with four children, therefore, he can have some fun out there. Take care of yourself, and don't center your life on your husband. Center it on you and your children. If he is a good father, he will take care of his children financially, so don't worry about that. You can do this.

Answer 4

Get a private eye and nail his butt. He will still be a good provider!!! He is a liar and you know it. Get an attorney now and get the evidence because the more money you have the better the justice is in America, but with evidence You can keep on living just as you are now. Or he goes to jail. Simple. You seem as if you are a victim, turn this around and you become the victor!!!!

Answer 5

Hey, sorry for your predicament. Why did you marry him, anyway? This isn't an idle question, but more of a means to evaluate the reasons why you married him and stayed with him despite the problems he's had. Can these same reasons justify staying in this relationship? I don't know what the answer is; no one is perfect, and everyone has their share of problems. It's just sometimes the problems begin to outweigh the benefits. Is there a bigger benefit in staying unhappily married vs. being a single mother? There's no simple answer to that. Good luck.

Answer 6

Don't apologize for "ranting". You are a mother and a concerned wife, you rant away. I am sorry you are in this possible situation. I cannot give you advise on your husband, but I can offer some advise on your other situation. You are a beautiful, strong, and smart woman. You deserve happiness and to be in a healthy loving relationship. Believe in yourself. If you can't believe in him or in your relationship, do your children see that? Is it hard to "sell" your relationship to them? I know you must be such a wonderful mom. In the end, do you want them to see a loving relationship or know of a cheating half *** situation, you have the power to make it work with your husband. Whatever you do, I wish you well. You will be successful. Best of wishes!!

Answer 7

wow. I'd say he is a player and you married a very insensitive man. Not to mention a nymphomaniac. Get the heck out of that relationship you might get aids one day if you don't. I had to leave an abusive relationship and go into a homeless shelter with my kids, at first I was depressed and embarrassed but then I realized it wasn't so bad, I had lots of women around me to talk to and vent. I did divorce the guy and moved on with my life. He was a big cheater. Every chance he got. Every time he worked out of town. I was a good investigator and even found out their names and where they lived. I made sure he wouldn't be happy with them and he wasn't.

Answer 8

If you want the relationship to work maybe you should see a marriage counsler and he should go to meeting or something. But if you dont want to be with him anymore. like Mzrobn said he can still be a good provider through child support and alimony. But you should never stay in an unhappy marriage for the kids sake. They will grow up and see whats going on. And you dont want your kids thinking its ok to be treated like that.

Answer 9

Besides the obvious...this kids are also getting the tension and frustion between the two of you. My husband had porn addictions, singles online chat additions, single sites additions and lots of calls on his cell phone..which he said they were all wrong numbers. Step out of your comfort zone and plan ahead...don't worry how many kids you have etc...your family will want to support you in this transition.

Answer 10

Well if you are just keeping him around for the money,then it sounds like you don't love him any more. Get a divorce and sue for alimony and child support. He set himself up in a position to be able to cruise for these gals, under the pretense of being a recruiter.