How do you console your fiance'/wife who's bothered with the fact there's a strong chance they can't have kids

Question

The problem i have is i have a son from a previous relationship and here we are trying to spend our lives together but a strong possibility that there won't be kids in out future together. What do i say when she feels like she's less of a woman because she can't have kids? yes i want more kids but i tell her it's cool we can adopt but it's not helping too much. help me yall i love her to death how do i help someone that thinks they're less of a woman because of this and the re biological clock is winding down?

Answer 1

I would tell her this:

There once was a husband and wife who want to have kids really bad. They tried and tried for years. Finally they were told they would never be able to have kids. They took this in stride and decided that was how it was meant to be. They were meant to give love to a baby whose parents were unable to give love to.

They decided to adopt a baby girl and quit worrying about not being able to have a baby. About a year later, they discovered a surprise. The wife was pregnant. They had a baby girl and went on to have a baby boy about a year later. All of those children are now adults.

THIS IS NOT A FAIRY TALE. THIS HAPPENED TO MY AUNT AND UNCLE.

Sometimes if you worry and stress out about something a lot you can't make it happen. Think of all of the people out there who try and try to find love and the perfect person. It's when they finally stop looking that the perfect someone comes along.

So I would just try to make her happy, maybe go away on a little romantic vacation (if you can afford it) or do something else that free or low cost. Try to get her thinking about life and the here and now. You never know, once you stop trying, it just might happen. And if it doesn't than maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe you are meant to give another child a loving home that wouldn't have had the opportunity otherwise.

Good Luck! :)

Answer 2

First, find out for sure if can't have kids. Then look at how YOU really feel about not having your own. You can not console her if
you have big problem with it. See if can find support group for the two of you (or talk to others that have had to deal with that issue) If you truly love her, you & she can make it work. If she can not have children then the biological clock won't matter. She is not less of a woman because of it. She is a very strong woman to face it. If you truly care about your relationship BE THERE FOR HER!!

Answer 3

That's difficult. Has she seen a doctor for infertility, or is this more speculation than anything? There are a lot of things doctors can do to try to help a woman conceive...IVF, medications, etc. If she really and truly can't have children, she may want to talk to a counselor or therapist who can help her through all the feelings that could come with it...the ability to bear children is a big issue for most women, but it by no means she is any less of a woman if she can't. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I am a women who belives in god very much I don't belive god punishes people by not being able to conceive there own biologal child but it should open up there hearts she should not feel less of a women but she should feel that god has planned somthing so much better for her to give a child a home, a mom, dad, love, hope, and to feel safe it shouldn't matter were a baby comes from if she truly wants to be a mother she would love this baby no matter where it came from it will still be the both of yours if you chose to adopt. So many people give there babies up everyday these babies have no one god blessyou

Answer 5

That is tough!! But just express to her that miracles occur and if it happens, you will have a miracle baby together. I was told that I only had a 50/50 chance because of medical issues with the girly organs inside and I now have a 2 yr old daughter and am 10wks along now. I was horribly afraid of not ever having a child of my own, and I think she will ultimately have to find it in herself that it is ok if that is the case. Be supportive to her and assure her of your love--that's all you can do. If she's interested, check into fertility treatment info if that's an option. Good luck!

Answer 6

This is common for women to go through I think she feels like she is letting you down just reassurance that your cool with everything will be enough to get her through it if not than take her to a counsel

Answer 7

tell her not to worry about competeing for your love, it seems to me she wants to give you and share with you what the women from the previous realtionship got to have with you. You just need to tell her how much more she means to you with or without giving birth to your child. And what about a seraget mother to carry ya'll s child for you. Good Luck

Answer 8

I know people who have adopted and then had a child.
Let her know she is the love of your life and she is all you want, sometimes when the pressure is off nature just takes over.

Answer 9

She needs professional counseling if she is as distraught about this as you claim. We don't always get what we want in this life and cannot always do what we want, but if she cannot understand or accept that, then get her into counseling.

Answer 10

i also agree with kittie!!!!


you answered a question of mine....what is an E5???