Why is my husband acting like this???

Question

We just found out we are having our first child...Now he is always yelling at me, telling me he will leave if I don't shape up (stop nagging), and not saying I love you anymore....doesn't kiss me touch me...I'm confused... He says he is tired from working 12 hr days but that doesn't mean he should be mean...I thought husbands are happy that they are having a baby.

Answer 1

Usually means they have another woman on the side....And having a baby is a problem now. But that wont stop him... So next time he says he is going to leave do him a favor and pack his things for him...

Answer 2

I would guess he feels a bit like things are out of control and he is no longer calling the shots. He is probably nervous, scared and hopefully at least a little excited about the baby. To compensate for all these feelings he is pulling back from you and trying to control or fix other areas. Maybe the nagging has bothered him for a while but because everything else was running smooth he let it go. You should relax a little, be happy you are pregnant and rather than adding to the stress try to let your excitement spread. If he is still yelling at you, he is probably just a D!*k! Hopefully it isn't in the genes. As you become more pregnant you don't need anyone else bringing you down and a real man should step up. CONGRATS!

Answer 3

It take a mother nine months to used to the idea that they are having a baby. Please, don't expect your husband to instantly wrap his MIND AROUND ALL OF THIS. a MAN TENDS TO FEEL PRESSURE ABOUT having to provide for you and the child for life. This all at once can be a bit overwhelming, possibly causing him to be ill. Let him know it is going to be all right that you too will be there to provide and for him not to get overwhelmed right now, and to try to look at this also as a new life you two have created together from love. Will it be a boy? Will it be a girl? Will we go to Disney world when it's three or wait till it's four? Will it act like his mom? His Dad? all the good things and realize it is NORMAL to get overwhelmed. It will be nine months out so you twop can get a head start on purchasing diapers, etc. saving money, it is a great time you two are in so please help each other through it. Lots of luck to you, this IS the best time of your life not only as individual people but as a family. Have fun!!

Answer 4

He sounds overwhelmed, with a baby comes more responsibility and more money that has to go out. Especially if he is working 12 hour days. Nagging never works it only causes hard feelings. Your right ,he doesn't need to be mean to you. The two of you need to sit down and talk this out in an adult manner and maybe seek couples therapy.

Answer 5

Been there, done that. He's panicking, sort of, fatherhood style. It just dawned on him that the joy of sex has turned into the worry of whether or not he can be a good provider, a good father, how he's going to pay for it, the list goes on and on. It can be hard to get over the "shock" of it (for lack of a better term). It also sounds like he's increased his hours at work because of it. Talk to him, assure him you still love him and everything will work out fine. Point out that millions of people have gone through the same thing and somehow survived!

Answer 6

They should be. He sounds like a jerk. Instead of worrying about how tired he is, you should worry about you and the baby. He should be pampering you! Maybe he's just gotten scared but he really does sound like a jerk. When he starts yelling again tell him YOU will leave if HE doesn't shape up because you are carrying life and dont need to hear him yell.

Answer 7

Well, he is being a jerk. But you know this. Maybe he is just stressed out at this news. Did he want a child now or was it a surprise? He may be questioning his abilities as a father and provider. He shouldn't be taking this out on you and threatening to leave you though. You two definitely need to have a serious talk. Him treating you badly can stress you out and in turn harm the unborn child!

Answer 8

Not sure this is his problem, but after trying for 1.5 years to conceive, when my wife told me she was prego I freaked out. The responsibility, the lack of freedom, is like a cage to a man. Assuming he is responsible that is. He is also thinking you are going to pork up and never be the same woman again. He is seeing the end of his life, not the beginning.

Take him aside and tell him that once the kid comes, you will do your best to get back into decent shape, and you will get a baby sitter as soon as possible to get back into an adult relationship. He probably has friends telling him his life is over. You need to assure him is it not over.

Answer 9

Not always is it happy go lucky.
I don't want to excus the father to be but I will explain that he is realizing that it isn't going to be just you 2 anymore. More reaspncibility, and how things will change in the home, with you, and for him. It takes time for some 1st time fathers. And even he maybe going through his own emotional issues.
The thing is try to communicate with him and if after you explain what your feeling and how your hormones are going nuts, you may have to make some other arrangments until the baby arrives.

Answer 10

He is probably very stressed. When I learned we were having our first kid, all kinds of emotions were running through my body. Most prevelant was the need to make sure I could provide for my family. This alone caused all kinds of stress, which led to me and my wife fighting way too much. I would advise talking about this. Give him some confidence in his ability to be a father, and this will enable him to assist you better with your pregnancy.

p.s. No man can possibly know what you are feeling and going through during your pregnancy, so COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE! Your unborn child needs to have two loving parents.