My husband gambles[says cured]. Lies over simple things, No matter how much I get things straightened out here, he is always behind. Just found out our house mortgage was past due, again, seems to disregard me, I work sometimes 120 hours a week. He takes off and goes to Newport, Oregon, to the Pub. All I do is come home and repair the house, ect. Should I kick him out?
2006-08-24 06:30:14 · 21 answers · asked by Hope E 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My vote is to take care of yourself first. You are both responsible for that house payment if you are both on the loan. But Oregon is funny - if he moves out and you have the house, you are expected to make the full housepayment. If you can't pay it, then it goes against both your credit when it's not paid on time. Even a divorce won't change how your loan is due - it may stipulate he has to pay a portion of it until the house sells, but if he doesn't pay it you'll have to take him to court (and it won't change the terms on the loan).
If you make repairs to the house and it improves the value of the house, guess what - he still gets half the proceeds from the sale (unless you stipulate otherwise in your divorce decree).
So I go back to point #1 - take care of yourself first. Get him to agree to how the bills are to be paid - in writing and notorized (if you can) now. Take out a bank account in your name only and deposit your money in this account. Use it to pay the bills that are in your name first - then pay the bills in joint. If he has access to the account and spends all your joint money on gambling or anything - it was still both your money and you can't protect it. If you have credit cards in both your names, cancel them (either one of you can cancel it). Take out new cards in your own name and don't add him to the cards. If he can prove he can manage his own finances, then consider reopening things in joint again.
But protect yourself first! You obviously love him our you wouldn't have stayed with him this long. And, just for information, a legal seperation is for Catholics that can't get a divorce - it doesn't apply to your situation.
2006-08-24 10:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by An Oregon Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you working so much? Then coming home to do repairs around the house. Does he work? Only you can answer your own question. I would take the following into consideration:
1. What is his contribution to the house? And does he do this well?
2. Do you love him?
3. How long have you been dealing with this situation?
4. Do you see yourself in the same situation one year from now?
Way the pros and the cons of your relationship, if there are more cons than pros, then I would definitely consider being on my own. Especially if you are doing everything on your own anyway.
2006-08-24 06:35:20 · answer #2 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit spinning your wheels! The two worse things in life is a Liar and a Thief! As long as you let him, he will continue to use you up. Take control of the money, shut him off from all financial gain from your account or funds.Gambling is like being an alcoholic, you are never cured, he will always be tempted.Does he really want to change? NO!
You need to get confidence in yourself, quit relying on him, he will only bring you down.
2006-08-24 06:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by angiet47933 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finances is the number one cause of divorce. YOu need to make him give you all the money for the mortage and other bills he will be responsible for and you make sure to pay the bills. I had to do that with my husband. My husband pays the mortgage online and I make sure he prints me out a receit with a confirmation number that I file away. I start harrassing him from a week before the mortage is due and I tell him everyday to pay it until it is done. It is stressful but beats being homeless.
2006-08-24 06:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-11 14:37:48 · answer #5 · answered by hayakawa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, see if he will go to counseling for his addiction and try to help him. If he is not willing or does not think it's a problem, kick him out and file for divorce. His gambling could get YOU into some serious trouble. Gamblers will try anything to get the money to gamble with. He could get you into debt, especially if he knows your personal info.
2006-08-24 06:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-08-24 06:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from that loser! You are to good for him. Tell him you are leaving him and get the divorice papers. Stay at a friends or at your parents or some else's.
Good Luck
2006-08-24 06:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, you need to ask?
He's not going to change. Unless you want to work your butt off all your life so he can gamble and drink with his buds, kick him to the curb!
2006-08-24 06:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yes, what are you waiting for. What a lying freeloader. The sooner you are free of him the better.
Good Luck
2006-08-24 06:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋