I am expecting a baby with my boyfriend in December?

Question

We aren't married currently and because of certain things, I'm not sure we should get married. My boyfriend is a wonderful person and makes me very happy but he loves to party, check out the ladies (it bugs me when he does this blatantly, in front of me, mostly because I just feel huge anyhow, being 6 months prego and plus I find it rude-I'd never do that to him) I guess I'm just silly because I don't want anybody else but I feel like he does. He always talks about threesomes and his past girlfriends that he's still friends with. I know I'm being insecure, and that isn't like me at all. But for the most part I feel hurt and angry. When he talks about getting married, I just want to tell him that he's got an awful lot to prove to me. I know he loves me. But I'm not going to get married out of necessity-I think it would be wrong to do. To me, marriage is sacred and I don't want my child being stuck in the midst. Dad can't be treating Mom without respect. Is this selfish of me?

Answer 1

No!!! you go girl.. you hold your grounds!!
You shouldn't get married if your not 110% sure!!! If there are things about him you don't like you guys need to adress those issues before you jump into anything.. and he should have the most respect for you.. if he wants to be with you in the long run he need to grow up!!!
As far as the baby goes.. well wethear you like it or not. you and your bf willa lways be in each others life bc of your baby... and even if your not married.. or ever get married.. you two will have to find a way to be close friends for your babys sake.. Good luck!!!
You should be proud of your self .. you are being very smart!! Keep it up!

Answer 2

No, you are not being insecure. Nor are you being selfish. He is being disrespectful. A little basic consideration for your feelings would be greatly appreciated, I'm sure. I remember how I felt during my pregnancy. Fortunately, I have a man who was and is very supportive and conscientious of my emotions.

Openly checking out the chickmeat in front of you is a preview of what will come. I will suspect that as you get bigger in the belly and don't want to have sex, he will go searching elsewhere. His eye is already roving.

Yes, indeed, he has a LOT to learn and a lot to prove. And, it sounds, like a lot of growing up to do before you could trust him to value you in marriage.

Do not get married because you are pregnant. That is the WORST reason to marry someone, especially when you question that person's committment.

You don't give your ages, but I'm going to guess you're around 18 to 20. You got a lot of living to do before you saddle yourself with a husband. Treasure your child--he or she will be the greatest love of your life.

Boyfriends, and husbands (when you consider the divorce rate) come and go.

Tyler.

Answer 3

your don;t have to get married. It's not a neccesity. To be honest with you I wouldn't get married to him. He is untrustworthy.
And your husband needs to leave his crazy partying days and threesome behind bcause he;'s going to be a father soon.
Firs of all he shouldn't be talking to his ex girlfriend.
OUT OF RESPECT FOR YOU. he is being very disrespectful. Yeah hee was honest enough to tell you he is still talking to them. But anything can happen. you know. That's jusyt isn't right. I would be insecure too if he went out partying with them. And leaves you at home. You need to let him now that he needs to start making sacrafices and think about the future. Don't blame yourself for anything you are not being a bit selfish. You have some sense in you. And you should let him know how you trully feel and that he needs to change. Wewll i hope everythin wokr sout between you two. If it doens't im sure you'll be just fine with your baby. Because you don't deserve to be treated like that.

Answer 4

Men will be men or in some cases boys will be boys. I have learned that it is impossible for a man to keep his eyes on just the girl he is with at the time. But don't get married because of a child , that will not make the situation better. Be sure he will be there for you and yours, and then if you feel he loves you unconditionally marry him for the right reason not because of your unborn child.

Answer 5

Not selfish at all, Just remember you are 6months pregnant right now, you shouldn't be stressed out right now over your boyfriend for his nonsense. You are about to bring a new life into this world in December and your boyfriend needs to realize that and begin to prepare himself for his child and start thinking about the future with you if he wants to get married one day and stop worrying about other woman, threesome and partying. He can still party but has to realize he going to be a father, a real man position. Sit him down if you haven't, truly let him know how you feel about what he is doing and your future with him. Good Luck to you and your family.

Answer 6

If it is selfish of you, it is only because you are thinking of yourself and what you should do about it. If you want that baby to grow up without a father, then don't get married, but if you want that baby to grow up with a name, get married.

There is no middle ground here, You allowed yourself to become impregnated, it was not forced upon you. It is your responsibility to complete the circle that you started.

The choice is yours, Sometimes, pregnancy can cause a woman to be a little oversensitive, That is a normal thing, but you should consider your boyfriend, Even if he loves you very much, he still needs to prove to himself that he is attractive to women. That is a built in feature of the male of the species.

Marry the guy and stop hanging crepe over your life.

Answer 7

If he's checking out other girls, that would tip off that he may not be faithful in marriage. I married in a similar situation, but there seem to be doubts here. Don't go through with it unless you're certain! If he still talks about ex's and other girls, it's HIM who has the problem, not you! You aren't insecure. You're just not stupid enough to gamble with your future with some guy who has a player mindset and isn't ready to focus on YOU. I wonder what he'll be like when the baby comes???

Answer 8

I completely understand. I am Also in the same boat. I'm due in Jan. So not feeling as pretty as you are is kind of depressing.
Recently my boyfriend's Ex just got into a car accident and is now staying with him and he is taking care of her.
I know they are just friends, and I know he loves me and our daughter(my lil unborn). He has also asked me to marry him after he found out I was pregnant.

I choose to tell him no because I'm not ready, i'm still in school working and going to have a baby. You have every right to tell him your not ready. Having a baby is a big enough part of you lives, why add the pressure of getting married for the sake of getting married. Its a reciepe for disaster.

I've told my bf that i feel uncofortable, but if he is friends with his ex's, you have to learn to accept him, and all the faults you may like or dislike. Thats what true love is. instead of continuously bugging him about his ex's im learning to get to know them. realizing that he really is over them. Some people are better as friends then lovers. It's taken me two years to accept it, and two years for him to accept that my bestfriend is one of my ex's.

He doesnt do it to hurt you. But if your really hurt. You need to sit him down tell him whats up with you. use "I" comments instead of "you" Men respond better to rational people. Thats how they were made, while women respond better to emotions.

Good luck..

I'm here if you need someone to talk to at kissibleballer at yahoo. com

Answer 9

Absolutely not and I think it's downright rude for him to be checking out chicks while your pregnant with his child. He should be showering you with love and affection...you ARE carrying his child. He should realize that while being pregnant your hormones are all over the map making your emotions so up and down. He needs to be reminded of manners and be aware of how his actions make you feel...I'd be straight up with him and if he's not willing to listen or take what you have to say to heart then you need to lay down the law with him. Sorry you're having such a terrible time...maybe, just maybe he doesn't realize just how rude he is being and hopefully when you talk he'll get it. Best wishes for your future and good luck with delivery. (Been there, done that 3 times...I know where you're comin from)

Answer 10

If he talks about threesomes and his past girlfriends then he is not truly in love with you. You need to drop him like a hot potatoe. Trust me you can make it much better without him. I am sure you should not marry this guy.