My second ex did not raise my son. now my grand child shows me pictures of how my second ex husband 's wife who is the same person he was seeing while I was living with him.
Am I wrong to feel my son and grandchild turn trader to me ?
I don't them in the family anymore. How wrong am I ?
2006-08-24 05:54:53 · 11 answers · asked by Pookie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wasn't this on jerry springer? If it wasn't it should be. And the word you want is traitor. You should do everything possible to alienate your son and grandson from you as they clearly have no sense of loyalty. But not before you get on springer. sounds like jerry could do a full hour on you.
2006-08-24 07:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are speaking from the pain of the second marriage.
I really don't feel you have let go of that relationship and still harbor anger and pain. That happens! Doesn't make you wrong. But you do need some help to get rid of these feelings. Until then - you won't really be able to handle the situation.Call a minister or better yet, go get counseling. This must have happened a long time ago for a grandchild to be involved.
I know that neither your son nor your grandchild is trying to hurt you. They haven't turned traitor. Go get help! Then YOU can start living in the present - not the past with pain.
2006-08-24 13:14:36 · answer #2 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are very wrong.
stop thinking of your adult son as your son, think of him as a completely different person. Now doing that, would you hold it against him if he were to be friends with your ex husband and his new wife. the problem that you have with your ex husband and his new wife are just that, your problem. You do not need to being other people into it. And if your son was anyone else but your son, you would not feel you had the right to tell him who he could and couldn't be friends with, and you would not be jealous if your son or grandchild spoke of any other friend in the way that they are speaking of your ex husband and his new wife.
your choice, you want to hold on to your jealousy and anger or have a relationship with your son and grandchild.
2006-08-24 13:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by whatelks67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a way. You should want your son's happiness above your own, so just because you hate your ex-husband and don't want to see him doesn't mean your son shouldn't. It's also not fair to hold it against him for being close to him. You divorced your ex-husband; doesn't mean he stopped being important to your son, even if he didn't raise him the man was still a big part of his life for a while. It's really not fair of you to expect your son to shut your ex-husband out too. Like when parents get divorced--one parent should never bad mouth the other, simply for the sake of the child. Because just because the parents hate each other, doesn't mean the children have to hate to as well. And it's not fair of you to expect him to.
Im sorry. I know it hurts. I'm a naturuall jealous person and I know I'd be seething over this. You have every right to feel the way you feel. You just can't put it off on your son, though. They don't have to be a part of YOUR life, but you can't stop your son from wanting them in his.
2006-08-24 13:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No-life moves on. You need to find someone yourself.
Your son is an adult who has the right to choose his own relationships.
If you are trying to say your husband had an affair in your marriage and that is why you don't want him to be friends with the ex and his new wife-well, as wrong as that was, in order to maintain peace w/his dad, he probably isn't trying to rock the boat there.
Things happen for a reason. You need to get your own life b/c you're still trying to be controlling of the situation and that is what is making you angry and frustrated.
2006-08-24 14:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is an adult. He has the right to associate with whomever he chooses. You don't say how long ago you were divorced from your second husband, but you do need to let that all go and move on with your life. (And the word is "traitor", not "trader". )
2006-08-24 12:58:35 · answer #6 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off like you said your son is an adult! that means that he make what ever decision he chooses with out your consent. and second off your grandchild has no other choice but to be with there dad. so i think maybe you should tell him that it upsets you and you wish not to hear about their life or too see any pics of them together.
2006-08-24 13:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by tygereyez03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people would be glad that such a bond was created during the time that you were together with this man. The man was important enough to you to bring him into the family. It sounds like you still have some unresolved issues that need dealt with in regards to him cheating on you.
2006-08-24 13:03:04 · answer #8 · answered by Beth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're wrong to turn on your son just because he is associating with someone you don't like. Your problem is with your second ex; don't drag your son into it. He can be friends with whomever he pleases.
2006-08-24 13:04:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'am friends with all but one or two and i still talk to them. My mom knows that since i didnt have my real father these are the men who were willing to try to step in. just because mom and my step dads had problems don't mean my sister and i did. I respect all of them that i keep in touch with. You got to remember your their mom and they will come to you first. They love you, its just they see it that maybe this person was there for them too as you were for them. My mom understands she dont have to talk to them but she understands our feelings why we still do and she respects us for that.
2006-08-24 13:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by hopelovesu2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋