over the weekend i went to visit my sick sister and my mother in indiana with my 2 kids. i live with the father and his mother. i came home on monday because i knew their father would be off on tuesday and i wanted to spend time with him and he said he missed me. but tuesday morning he woke up and got the kids dressed and said he was going to pay a bill and he will be back but didn't come back till 2am and left at 9am. he told me he took the kids to the shedd aquairum and he just want to spend the day wiith them. i told him he had my kids around one of his hoe's he said i was wrong. so on wednesday i asked my 5 year old daughter who was with them and she said nobody but later she told me that daddy told her not to tell me that they were with his friend and the they were kissing. now should i forgive him or not? right now i won't forgive him but i want to know if i'm doing the right thing. let me know
2006-08-24 05:51:26 · 23 answers · asked by ladylve15 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to move on and hopefully salvage a friendship since you have kids together. It is unhealthy for your kids to see this and be put in the middle. He is way wrong for telling them to keep secrets for him. They learn from us there parents what is right and wrong in life. They are growing up to think this is how mommy's and Daddy's are. It's time to move on and focus on your children they are most important.
2006-08-24 06:02:14 · answer #1 · answered by twinsmakesfive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. u should not forgive him. u know why?? because he's not asking you to.
black and white, he is Lying to your face. he is telling ur kids to lie. he is teaching them to be deceitful, for HIS gain. he is extemely selfish, and treating u extremely badly.
if he was begging u for forgiveness.... hmm. u can think about how much u love him, and how many times u want to give him that chance. but that is by Your grace, not his.
the problem w/ relationships is, that if there's no trust, there can be no commitment. there can be no satisfaction. there can be no Peace. notice that i didn't mention Love.... =T. u know why? cuz love is not the problem. u may love him. he may even love you, u are the mother of his child. but he doesn't respect you, and u cannot trust him. already ur relaitonship is pretty screwed..it wilL NOT get any better *unless* he is willing to do what is Right, for you and by you. same for you..altho i'm fairly sure ur not cheating on him or lying to him. if u were, u wouldn't be sad when he was doing it. so, if u are treating him well, being a good mother to his kids...and not getting any appreciation. u need to really think about how much u deserve, and how he is able or unable to do what you deserve.
u can forgive him, but that doesnt' mean u have to live with him and let him disrespect you. good luck, and do what is right for YOU and your kids, and it will lead u to positive things. discard anything that is negative in ur life.... if he can change,. give him a chance if u truly love him. but if u don't.... let him go.
2006-08-24 12:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a horrible situation to be placed in, especially with your kids. I don't know if I could answer you question directly or just give you some advice. If he is unrepentant and continues to lie to you, then there are some definite issues in the relationship. The problem with cheating and lying about it is that it destroys what every relationship is built on, trust. Without that trust you will never feel right around him, and he will either always feel guilty, or continue to abuse you by using you and then lying about it. If he does not want to change then you should let the relationship go. It isn't healthy for you, or your children to be in that situation.
2006-08-24 12:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by torchgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said what you wanted to hear to keep you around and keep the kids close. He is useing you for the beniffit of haveing the kids with him, he is looking else where and no you should not forgive him and you should go on with your life. He used you and his feelings are not worth a hill of beans to you. Or at least they shouldn't be. I know this easier said then done for you, because of feelings and everything else that you have in him, but your heart and your living conditions are at stake here. I would use him back just long enough to pull it together and get out with my kids. I wish you loads of luck.......... blessed be.
2006-08-24 13:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way!! You're doing the right thing...for yourself by not forgiving him...First he lied to you about "Coming Right Back" then he had your kids for so very long without you knowing where they were EXACTLY...He specifically told you he was going to pay a bill and then come right back...then that' what he should've done. Instead he out and out lied to you to cover up the fact that HE WAS NEVER COMING RIGHT BACK, and on top of it, he was with a perfect stranger, kissing. DON'T EVER FORGIVE HIM!! Unless he comes clean and acknowledges the fact that he mis-behaved and lied to you!!
2006-08-24 13:02:44 · answer #5 · answered by Evie L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one question are you two still together as a couple? if you are then i would say hes cheating on you and no i dont see how you could forgive him for that..if there is forgiveness then that makes what hes doing alright and he will continue to do it. I realise there are kids involved but people should not stay together because of their kids its not solveing anything in the relationship and it will continue to get worse.
2006-08-24 13:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by tess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt forgive him but I would move on and let the other girl get a taste of what hes like... You dont deserve that kind of pain... I would only communicate about the kids issues and nothing eles.. Show him that you dont need his lies in your life and that your kids dont need to be lying to you for him....Tell he is a bad role model for your children and that he needs to grow up....Show him that you and your children deserve way better then him...
2006-08-24 13:09:06 · answer #7 · answered by Karma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FORGIVE HIM, my happy a*ss !!! NO WAY ! No only is he lying to you, he's teaching your kids to lie for him! What the hell is up with that??? Move yourself and your children out of that house and get a good lawyer who will collect your child support. You can't trust this man as far as you can see him! If you don't, he'll be bringing home another mama's-baby into the house! No JOKE - get rid of him!
2006-08-24 13:01:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should NOT forgive him if the did it ones most likely he will do it again. and its wost because he took ur Kids around that ***** i say u let him go. You don't need a guy that says that he loves you put he really doesn't beacuse if he did he would not be with some othere *****
2006-08-24 12:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by diana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is built on trust, honesty, and love... sounds like you are receiving none of the above. Is he asking forgivness? has he done this type of thing before and remember he now has involved children and asked them to lie.
2006-08-24 12:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋