Why is Pres. BUSH so Smart?

Question

I mean the expression on his face says "what a genius I am" right? Don't you people agree?? I just LOVE his foreign policy. I just can't get over it. And his “war on terra” is better than when Einstein came up with his theory of relativity. He's a genius. I want to be smart like him. Do you all know of any classes I can take to be like him, look like him, talk like him, act like him?

Answer 1

Oh Michelle! I think I'm in love....

You can never, ever be as smart as the President, (just ask almost Supreme Court Justice Harriet Miers about the smartest man she ever met... sheesh - I should be hanging out in the bars she must frequent, I'd be Einstein).

But if you want to maximize the benfits of his wisdom, you must do the following:

1) Start a program of "sleep learning" by buying a tape or disc recorder with an auto-timer. Find the broadcast schedules for Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly, Coulter, and anyone else with a regular gig on Fox News. Record these shows daily, and play them back consecutively while you are sleeping (if you are not already sleeping when you turn on the playback you soon will be).

2) On Saturdays you may switch to a track of morning "sports talk" shows on any major AM "Sports Radio" station, especially the ones where the hosts rarely talk about sports, but love to say "Boobs" and "Fart". On Sundays you may switch to the 700 Club or any other religious broadcast that the President would approve of. No Jews, No Unitarians, and above all NO MUSLIMS!

3) Practice making intelligent faces like the President by visiting the primate house at the local zoo. Bring a small mirror and attempt to look intelligent while copying the face and arm movements of the available primates. Do this for hours at a time.

4) Read as many children's picture books as you can, preferably upside down. Adult fiction is also acceptable - at least if it's by Tom Clancy or has a hero named "Dirk". At all costs avoid anything from the history section that was written after 1945.

5) Buy or rent movies from the following list: Rambo I, Any western starring John Wayne except that one where he's old and drunk, Rambo II, Animal House, Rambo III, Independence Day, Rambo IV, Anything starring Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger except when they're trying to be funny, Rambo V, and did I mention Animal House? Avoid all news programming or television shows other than American Idol and Fear Factor.

6) Buy a bottle of Ann Coulter-approved blonde hair dye. Drink it.

There you go! You're now ALMOST as smart as the president, and have attained some of his knowledge base and some snappy personal characteristics as well. Eat a can of beans (not Heinz!), do a couple of lines, and you'll be ready to party like it's 2004.

Or was it 1984?

Answer 2

Get over yourself. His foreign policy stinks. More and more people are doubting his methods everyday. His war on terrorism is getting you nowhere, but creating new terrorists. He is an ignorant, selfish, spoilt brat. He's fighting terrorism without trying to find out its cause. Coz he knows its himself. Iraq has'nt improved a bit since their intervention. All he's after is Iraqs oil. And if you dont agree then no problem, the bush administration can use some thoughtless drones like you.

Answer 3

You have looked deep into the man's soul and saw the abyss of nothingness. You looked into his eyes and saw the wall of unawareness covered by his shadow ninja following him everywhere. He stands for nothing and he has destroyed so much in such a short time. He is the enigma of void. Ignorance truly is bliss. If only Rod Sterling were his press secretary then all would be perfect in Dick Cheney’s Private little Twilight Zone.

Answer 4

You are so sweet. I bet you to are just as smart as Curious George. Did you know that he has the IQ of a bag of hammers? Sure you did because you to are just as smart as he is. He got his foreign policy ideas by reading and re-reading his signed copy of Mein Kampf - I bet you don't have one of those! To be like your hero you must change your sex, go to Yale, get tapped by skull and bones, swear allegiance to Satan and promise to be no better than a 'C' average student. But you can do that can't you?

Answer 5

Oh please no!!! We don't need any more of that kind of genius running around, the world couldn't handle it!!! His foreign policy is quite awesome, we are undoubtedly the most loved and respected country on the earth!! Look at all of his environmental policies too!! I can sleep much better at night knowing this man is running the show............

Answer 6

I do know a class but maybe the Head Start class near you is already filled. If it is, just purchase a copy of Tyranny for Dummies. Then you don't have to sit around people with crap in their diapers and drool on their lips. Cabinet meeting or Head Start class?

Answer 7

you dont need classes. just need to do a bunch of co-kane and get some duis. be a cowboy. and get kicked in the head by a horse 18 times, stomped on a by a bull and run over with a tractor. THat is where real genius comes from.

dont you thank its funny we all forgot about his co-kane and duis. i remember.

Answer 8

You've gotta be kidding. Are you the master of sarcasm. He's an idiot who needs to think about the American troops ding in his"war on terra"

Answer 9

You're to pretty to be as smart as Bush. Just stick to your scientific research and trying to save lives.

Otherwise if you really want to be as smart as Bush, you have to start eating the same smart pills that he found under the rabbit cage.

But I really think you're too smart for that.

Answer 10

TEST FOR NEO-CONSERVATISM
(Intelligence not required)

Q: What can help us catch bin Laden?
A: More tax cuts for the rich.

Q: To stop illegal immigration?
A: Exempt the rich from paying any taxes at all.

Q: To prevent the oil companies from gouging us?
A: Pay reparations to the rich for the taxes they had to pay under the Democrats.

Q: I don't understand. How can these cuts help America?
A: You don't understand because you are stupid. If you were smart, you'd be rich.