Why do people think black women shouldn't...?

Question

Be pissed about other races dating black men. For years no one would look at a black man until the NBA. Then all of a sudden black men are populor to other races. Most black men who I have seen dating outside the race are financially well off. No one would look twice at those same men if they were covered in grime from a hard day at their blue collar job. Yes, it makes black women mad. Don't get me wrong i don't disagree with intercaial dating i have done it myself, but You never really see other races with black men unless they have money or about to get some. I don't think I would be as upset about seeing it if they were just a normal guy with a normal job. Plus the pickings are slim with black men. We have a large number in jails, gay, already married, on drugs, and players. Black women are the least seen race in interracial dating because we are seen as loud, belligerent, and ghetto. So if our own black men refuse to date us, then where does that leave us. Bitter and angry

For the peole that said stop being loud belligerent and ghetto. I'm am not, but that is the sterotype that black women are dealt.

Testy...Testy...

Prime example of some of the points I've tried to make. "Oh you are loud"how do you knwo that "stop talking about it" Um..i've seen a bunch of questions on here with other races asking why black women look at them funny. "Oh I have a friend who is not rich but date s awhite woman" 'A' friends is not the majority. "Your racist" Not racist at all, just honest about my feelings...Try it sometimes.

bornagain

I saw your question earlier and answered it and that is why I posted this question. it seems okay when you post your question but i'm a bigot for being honest about the way I feel and the way a lot(not all) black women feel. It seems like everyone wants to the ask the questions, but no one wants the real answers. Everyone was just a sweet as pie to you, but no one ever looks at how the other side feels.

I have dated outside my race on more then one occasion and I love to see a happy interacial couple together with their children. it just bothers me that a lot of times no one would look at these black men uf they didn't have the amount of cash that would make them live these extra comfortable lives. i never said all interacial couples were about this, but people assumed. I just wanted to give my hoest opinion of why BLACK WOMEN feel they way they do and how they sometimes give a dirty look or look for a little too long.

Answer 1

because...not everyone has empathy for our situation. Check out this website you might be interested. http://www.thetalkingdrum.com/wil.html

All of those people telling you to get over it don't understand how its affecting you and what kind of message interracial dating sends. It says that for all the right or wrong reasons you can't dig people from your own race. Take that as you wish...I know what your going through...I was married to a white guy for three years, because I felt threaten by the way some Black men approached me, because I felt deep down that it most Black men just chose to be womanizers...but you know what its not all their fault...and even though it may feel like you will never find a single good black man..hold out because they are out there...Its like sometimes you have to become that good person that you want to meet.

I know how frustrated you must be by all these people telling you to stop complaining...They are saying that because its not their dilemma...most of them probably wouldn't give a rats as* if the beautiful, successful, happily married, conscious Black couple became extinct, (because were already endangered)

And as for the woman who talked about the womanizing video HA! for the most part White America buys that sh*t and promotes that sh*t. Most Black people can only afford to buy it on bootleg. It sad, but true that most Black people try to emulate what they see on television, but I swear it feels like when ever a positve Black male figure gets some power "they" extinguish him. The America that buys that womanizing music want to reduce all of hip hop to that. When Black artist get famous and in the position to make a difference in their music rich White America gives them a choice either continue preaching ignorance to ignorant Black people or become more like us, (like the things we like, dress like us...so to speak... sell out), so conscious Black people will have no representation. That is why womanizing hip hop survives and thrives, and people say conscious hip hop is just whining.

Space Indian 2 seems to understand a little.

I feel as for interracial couples, familes, and kids...thats just the way the world is going. By 2350 we all will look the same and have a global culture. But meanwhile I feel there is a race between races to mix as much of themselves in the mix as possible. Don't hate me for feeling competitive.

Answer 2

Im a black woman and im dont get pissed when I see a black man with a non-black woman. Why should you or anyone else be pissed unless the relationship concerns you (in most cases it doesnt if your upset about someone you see on tv or someone you see in the streets dating or married interracially) People like you are the reason why its so hard why some people dont date interracially because the dont want to be accused of being a "sell-out" I think thats so rediculous! As long as two people love each other it doesnt matter what race they are. Im sorry to say this but you need to get a life or a man (white, black, asian, hispanic, whatever!). There is no reason for you to become bitter and angry over nothing! If every woman viewed the world the way you do then really the women who should be bitter are white women! According to statistics the most common interracial relationships and marriages in america are asian women with white men! And according to statistics most black men prefer black women over anyother race. Take it easy you will find a man who loves you one day. Hopefully one day you open your eyes and realise everything isnt about race!

Answer 3

Well, hun, I am a white woman who married someone darker than me. Not a black man, but an Arab. It's posed many issues in our lives, but we still love each other, and are willing to work out our issues with being from different cultures. I think that if two people love each other, then they should be together, regardless of race. I mean, I understand what you're saying. It looks like white girls go for black guys when they have money. That's true. Personally, I think they should leave black men alone, because what you said is true also, about there being a shortage of good ones out there, and it's not fair to black women when the chances of them finding a good man in their own race is slim to none.

Here's the bottom line. If people are together for the right reasons(i.e. there is genuine love involved), then it doesn't matter what race those two people are. If she's only going with him because he's rich, then that's wrong in any race.

Answer 4

First, let me say that I have seen multiple interracial couples where the black man didn't seem to be particularly well off. In fact, there was nothing extraordinary about these couples at all other than that they happened to be of different races.

I think you're right, though, that for whatever reason, black women (and Asian men, for that matter) seem to get the shaft, and I don't know exactly why that is. I see a lot more black man/white woman or Asian woman/white man pairs than most other interracial couples. (Now, I do know at least one Asian man who's with a white woman and a black woman who's married to an Irish/Filipino man, but those are in the minority.)

I honestly wish I knew the answer to this, but I don't. And I don't know that being "bitter and angry" is the answer either. I hope that you can find something or someone who makes you happy.

Answer 5

You're right that happens a lot. But i don't think you should really worry or waste your energy disagreeing with the fact. The world is free, people do what they please, unfortunately sometimes someone's happiness makes some one else's misery. It might be true that a lot of black men are in jail and what have you but there are millions of them that are honorable, educated, reliable source of dating/marrying. So get out there, go to church, meet people online, i am sure the right one is there for you. I am sorry if you're feeling vulnerable and I understand where you're coming from, but i think we ought to let the things that we have no control over play their role in live without making us angry or upset, at the end you're only hurting yourself.
Just for the record, i have 2 close black friends of mine who are dating other races one is dating a Japanese woman who's a dentist and he's a loser (i love him thought he's still my friend) and the other one is dating a white woman who's preparing a master's in psychology, and he's not really well off either, he's a car salesman, she makes more money than he does.
So while what you said is true, it's not all that common nor is it consistent. I think we should leave that tension and hatred to our parents or grandparents and start see a person inside their heart not the color of their skin or their eyes or hair, all that is futile and only truth remains eternal, everyting else is accessories.
Good luck :)

Answer 6

That's BS... There are gold diggers out there, but they are all different races. It has nothing to do with what color the guy or the woman is. Also I have seen PLENTY of races of women with black men who aren't rich or even have a job at all! There are a lot of black women with black men who have decent jobs and goals in life. Just because you haven't found somebody or because a couple women you know haven't found somebody doesn't mean that you can't or won't because black guys don't date black women. Like I said before that is BS, and how do you expect for the world to be non-judgmental and not racist while people like yourself are making these kind of comments? You are saying you aren't against interracial dating because you have dated outside your race, but yet you are b*tching about other races dating black guys?!? You're being hypocritical and contradicting yourself.

Answer 7

I posted a question earlier about something to this affect. I'm married to a black man and I'm asian. We've been married for six years and have a 3 yr. old son. First off, my husband is not wealthy nor was he ever in the NBA. He does campus security at a continuation high school, which he's been doing for the past eight years. When my husband and I started dating he was not physically well. He has IBS and was really suffering from it for six years. He was really skinny, but by the grace of God, he's been better now. He complained how black women would not give him the time of day because of the way he looked and how some of them wanted way too much. My husband is wonderful. He's responsible, doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs, honest and loyal. He'll even give you the shirt off his back, that's how caring he is. He's a believer in Jesus Christ and so am I. I firmly believe God made us for each other. He's strong where I'm weak and I'm strong where he's weak. Believe me, I married my husband for who he was, not for what he had. And I've been with him, even through the hardest times in his life.
And BTW, I have black women as friends as well whom I know are not loud, belligerent, or ghetto. One of them is my mother-in-law and I love her. And my sister-in-law is my sister and friend too. My father and mother-in-law didn't mind whomever their sons chose to marry just as long as they were Christians and did right by them.

Answer 8

Good point, but I don't know that it helps to get mad about it. Getting mad might even make you look more loud, belligerent and ghetto. In the past decade or so, I've seen more "black" women dating "white" men (I don't really buy into the color classification thing)
There will still be people with a "pure" African heritage in Africa, dear, but in America, it's all about assimilation. And fashion.
The other place I would recommend caution is in claiming possession of "our own people" as if black men somehow belong to you just because you are a black woman. That reinforces the idea of a sub-culture of black people and not all American people want that. I understand how you feel, but I hope you will learn to see it a different way. Look for a nice Jewish man.

Answer 9

I see what you're saying, but instead of taking it out on other races, focus on trying to unite and connect our community.

Brothers are not dating outside the race because they're being brainwashed or "mesmerized" by blond hair and blue eyes. We have lost a sense of community in our neighborhoods, and gangs and the media have become an overwhelming influence in today's families. And the increasing number of single mothers don't help. So try not to be pissed and try to help uplift and encourage our brothers the best you can. And visit cities that have lots of well educated black men, like Atlanta or Houston.

And by the way, I see more poor, out of work, brothers dating other races than their own. And interracial dating did not start with the NBA. Check your African American history books...especially the chapter on Jack Johnson.

Answer 10

Just like you feel that the pickings are slim when it comes to good black men have you ever stopped to think that maybe they feel the same way? Maybe they feel that the pickings are slim when it comes to the type of woman they are looking for? But instead of being bitter or angry they go and pick else where. Well instead of the women being angry or bitter why not just make a few adjustments so what the men are looking for they can find it .

Answer 11

Wow that was a screwed up generazation if ever I've seen one. First of all the NBA has NOTHING to do with a lot of women dating black men. Personally I date black men because I grew up around black boys so it only seemed natural. My man is a hard working blue collar man and I've dated plenty of other blue collar black men, I find that white collar black men want a trophy and to just be a player, they don't want to WORK at a relationship. I want a man who will bust his *** just like I do to have something in life.