I had been involved in a situation with a guy on and off for 3 years...during that time he drank alot and did some drugs. Since, he's gone into rehab, but occasionally still drinks now. He is not nearly as bad as he used to be when he drank, and only drinks minimumly. He told me not long ago, to let go of any feelings I had for him, and just as I did, he is now telling me that I seem to have changed and he's hoping because he's wanting to get closer again like we once were. Including dating. I was hurt alot by him, but feel he has made changes for the better...he has held a job for almost a year (unheard of before) and he is more caring about his friends and what impact he's had on them. We all have trust issues with him, but I really think he may have made some positive changes and he has said numerous times he never wants to go back to how he was and will do all he can not to. Should I just continue on with him to see if this time is different? It feels different....
2006-08-24 05:28:16 · 9 answers · asked by lmhonda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You know him better then I do so if your instincts say go for it then give it a try. And try to support him in his rehab but if you see him slipping then bail quickly so as not to get caught up in all that negativity
2006-08-24 05:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship like that, however the man I was with never really changed and ended up doing the things he did a long time ago. It not only was irritating, but was a humungous insecurity when it came to trusting him. If you cannot have a trusting relationship I don't think that it will work out. So for the answer, I believe you two should be friends, especially if he hurt you so bad. Because I've been hurt more than 3 times by one guy, each time hurting more and more. I doubt you would want that.
2006-08-24 12:34:20 · answer #2 · answered by disfunkshunaldork 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he is making some good changes in his life. Drug and alcohol addictions can make people do things that they would never do sober. If he is on the road to recovery be supportive. You don't have to rush right back into the relationship. You can be a friend and a companion and just see where it goes. Be honest with him and express to him your fears. Let him know that you are not completely dismissing the idea of rekindling a romance with him. However, you don't want to rush in. If he is making all these life changes for the better and realizing his past mistakes then I think he will understand and respect your decision.
2006-08-24 12:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by geni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband had been in and out of rehabs due to past drug use. He is in prison due to probation violations even though he was completely clean. I've known my husband for 11 years and we have been married over 1 year and together as a couple much longer than that. I've seen him at his worst and he had completely changed his life to where he is happy! However when he gets home that will be the true final test. I know there is a chance he would relapse and he can get help and I'll help him anyway I can as long as he works at it. If he doesn't and goes back to when he was feeding his addiction because he doesn't care, he knows I'll leave him.
It's okay to help someone as long as you don't burn yourself out and you are still able to take care of yourself. Know your own limitations and set your boundaries. Follow through on any actions you may have to for yourself. I wish you luck!
2006-08-24 12:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. I wasted about 15 yrs of my life with someone like this. We were back and forth forever it felt like. He was an alcoholic too. Believe me they don't change. Stop wasting your time with this person and go out and find someone that is full of life and is happy for what they are. You deserve it to yourself! I'm happy now and met a wonderful man. I thank God everyday for blessing me with a good man. They are out there. Just think there is someone just waiting for you and your wasting your time with someone that has low self esteem and likes to bring you down. I've been there. I know it hurts but move on it's better for both of you. Good Luck.
2006-08-24 12:35:05 · answer #5 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with dmxdragon2 100%. Everybody deserves a second chance - but watch out. It will take a long time to earn your trust again.
2006-08-24 12:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by gator girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust is not given for free, but earned. take some time, he may be worth it.
2006-08-24 12:35:10 · answer #7 · answered by insane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your question is too long and boring. 2 points.
2006-08-24 12:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what I do is follow my heart!
2006-08-24 12:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋