My bf has a fear of confrontation, mostly with people he is close with. There is an issue in his life with his family and it is effecting his life but he wont confront his family. He knows he needs to do something about it and he wants to but his fear is holding him back. I don't want to push him but I would like to help him cope with it. Any suggestions on how to help him?
2006-08-24 05:13:15 · 6 answers · asked by Gypsy Cat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can relate to this in a big way because it has happened to me as well.
First off, he is a good person. Never doubt that. He is probably very intelligent and only wants the very best for you and only wants you to be happy. He is probably a genuine friend too.
With all this in mind., one of the things you can do is to let him know that you value his sense of Trust and his sense of People, and that you respect that about him very much.
Being the smart individual and wanting to be nice and not hurt anyone takes time to figure out. The strategy here is to use intelligence to the max when learning how to deal with people. In other words, Working smarter not harder when it comes to people.
Always remember that he is also the type that puts people first, always. No matter what, he really thinks the world of what others think and that makes his life so much more interesting too. He might not realize this at this very moment either, but deep down he is like this. We all are. It's a process of awareness and discovery that we figure out eventually.
One of the strategies i used to confront my own family worked because i was able to figure out exactly what would work beforehand. It had alot to do with values. Yes, values.
Putting people first means that you respect their values too. Their sense of Honesty, Trust, Respect, Caring, Sharing, Appreciation and their sense of Humor along with other values mean the most to people. Everyone has values too.
There are many strategies that work and don't work with family. Each member of every family is different. Some only want and hear what they want to hear and ignore the rest, while others truly have an open mind when it comes to these issues.
The point here is to try and figure out who will listen and who won't. The come up with a strategy that works for each individual, it can be a win-win for both.
As an example: if there is a bully in the family... it could be a father figure even or even a fellow sibbling... bullies by nature demand attention and when they don't get it, then they act out with violence towards the people who are not giving what they want. Bullies also do not want to give others the ability to make their own choices, rather they want to make the choices for them and enforce them on you as they see fit. You see, understanding the bully is also understanding what they are all about too.
The best strategy for a bully is to outsmart the bastard. They hate it when they don't get the information that they need and want either. Don't tell him things that you would other people. Then walk away. Make sure everyone else walks away too after the confrontation. Make sure everyone else around you also understands the type of person the bully is and make it vocal.
The bully will eventually stop and realize that he is an A S S. It really works.Honestly , i know from experience on this one.
This is just one example. There are different types of people in the family as well.
2006-08-24 05:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats definately something that is hard. but all you can really do is be there for him and talk him through it possibly, especially if its something that is easy for you. just explain to him that youre worried about this issue and you know it bothers him, and that you think it would really make him feel better if he confronted his family about it. explain to him that u know it will be hard, but you are there for him all the way through it and give him advice on how to do about it to make him feel more confident and less fearful.
2006-08-24 12:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he lives with them and you don't then it is something he will have to cope with. It is hard for you to give him advice on it since you don't have to live with them. You can give him some ideas but don't pressure him into doing anything because then your not being fair to him.
2006-08-24 12:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him down..play with each ada..den try talking some sense into his head...if he stil holds back..tel him how det makes u feel,and what u want him2do abt it..or else...
he wil come around
2006-08-24 12:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by nkedama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NONE... DO NOTHING... He has to figure this out on his own, just be there for him for the pitfalls and the highs. Cause there is absolutely NOTHING you can do for him. Goodluck
2006-08-24 12:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well baby ..
you should help him with that ,, and ask him that you want to help more .. you are a great friend..
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2006-08-24 12:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋