Counseling or divorce?

Question

I’m in a 5 year marriage that is on the rocks. Love is gone almost completely and friendship and respect are fading away. We have two kids that we both care about and we are struggling to take the next step. Should we force our selves to give it a try and approach our relationship with more discipline? We are both willing but extremely tired and disappointed.

Answer 1

Why not try counseling first to see if you marriage can be saved? You can always divorce as a last resort.

Answer 2

I think all marriages deserve counseling first before giving up on it completely. Sometimes you just think the love is gone, when in truth, it is still there, it has just become misplaced. Life is hard now days. Everyone struggles and is stressed out. Raising children is also difficult with the cost of living. All these things put a tole on a marriage. If you think you have to force yourself to try to save the marriage, then it's over. But if you both go into it with an open mind and a good therapist, you may find that the marriage is worth saving. I say at least try. Marriage is compromise and lots of communication. A therapist can make you see things that you yourselves don't see. Good luck.

Answer 3

Go to the counseling. This way if it doesn't work then you both know you tried. Sometimes what we think will be disappointing turns out not to be. Plus you want to show your children that when things get hard you always try everything before giving up. Try on good try on both of your parts and if that doesn't work then divorce. But do it knowing that you tried everything. This way down the road there will be no what ifs.

Answer 4

If the love is gone and the respect and friendship are closely following for your sake and the kids sake I would say divorce now. It sounds like you are on the road to divorce either way, and studies show that the earlier in a childs life the parents divorce the easier they can deal with it.

Answer 5

Counseling is always the first choice. Last year my husband and I were going to get a divorce. We hated each other. We went to counseling and I love him more today then when we were married. The children will suffer!! My kids thought we were going to get a divorce, the older one had to go to counseling because he started acting out in a bad way. He is also much better because we worked out our issues.

Answer 6

I think you should try the counseling because at one time you vowed to this person that you loved them and wanted to spend the rest of you life with them in good times or bad times through sickness or health. This is the same thing as being ill. Your marriage has a sickness and to honor your marriage vows you both need to see a marriage Doc. Look at it like that. Good Luck anyways.

Answer 7

I would try counseling,if ya'll both want to make it work. It will only be worth it if both of ya'll are commited to it. If that doesn't work then divorce b/c the child doesn't need to be in an unhappy home. Good Luck!! Hope everything works out.

Answer 8

Definitely, counseling. First, find out what the other person wishes the marriage was like and vice versa. Flexibility and an open mind has saved many marriages.

Answer 9

Always try counseling. Even if you both think its pointless. Remember that you brought to kids into it, its not there fault. You don't want to set a bad example to them by giving up. Just remember to be patient and forgiving. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Dont rush any decision. My ex wife and I rushed everything, tried to fix something that we should not have. The love was gone- I was working over 80 hours a week, and she worked the odd shift that I had off. We had 2 little girls. So, time together was scarce- and we grew apart thru everything- you hafto take the time to make the time. But rushing things, only compounds the problem- make it stable!