I feel like he ignores me, and only pays attention os chats with me if I tell him I want to have sex.......we have been married for 4 year (a nice marriage) but lately he has been disconnected, like summerged in his own world. he works at home so it is not like he is cheating, could someone please help.
2006-08-24 04:40:58 · 22 answers · asked by star bright 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are going to have to stretch yourself. It sounds unfair but you may have to find out what interests him and start taking an interest in that. Women have done it for years. Becoming Football fans, playing poker and video games, and even>gasp< watching porn with them. There are probably a lot of other ways but hey, it's all I got.
2006-08-24 04:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you work at home, you should set "business hours" just like you would in an office away from home. You have him there all day long, so he figures he's there "with you". He's not. Mentally, he working! And he's probably putting in alot more hours when he's home. Tell him to set business hours for himself and leave him alone during the day. After, say, 6:00PM, it's time to leave the work where it is and be a family/husband. Tell him you feel lonely even though he's home all day long. You might want to get interested in what he's doing. Perhaps he feels your resentment. Anyway, have a good talk without placing blame anywhere or on anyone. For example" "when you're home and working too late, it makes me feel lonely and left out of your world". Good Luck.
2006-08-24 04:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reconnect! Here are a few thoughts: Go on a short mini-vacation to a favorite place. Ask him to explain one of his favorite hobbies or interests to you. Make a favorite dinner and/or dessert -- together. Have a picnic on your bed. Plan a no work-- all play day where he gets to chose what he'd like to do. Plan a fun evening with no expectations -- such as renting his favorite movie and getting out his favorite snacks. Leave some fun notes around the house where he can find them throughout the day.
And keep up with the sex... but don't let that be the only way you get attention!
2006-08-24 04:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need some spice in your marriage. This happens to everyone from time to time in their marriages, you have natural ups and downs. He may be stressed about something about work, and doesn't want to worry you about it either. But try scheduling regular date nights with him, at least once a week. I don't know if you have children, but having young children really can put the damper on fun in a marriage, since you're so consumed with caring for the kids. Try to spend some time with him, one on one, and see what happens. If you start paying him more attention, I guarantee he'll pay you more attention. Good luck!
2006-08-24 04:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as someone who works at home a lot, it is easy to sometimes get submerged in your work and lose track of time particularly if it is very complicated or important.
Wait until he has a free moment and speak to him .. tell him your concerns and between the two of you work out a routine for him to take breaks, a cup of coffee, a snack, anything where he totally forgets about work and concentrates on you ....
He will start to enjoy these and make them more often .. if he doesnt then I would suggest there are bigger issues at stake and that will take real discussion.
2006-08-24 04:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by enzuigiriuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is where you have to start, many times after being married for a while people get into routines and go through their days with out thinking of others. We need to speak openly and honestly so that our partners know excatly where we stand,now if he still refuses to make any adjustments maybe its time for counsling or to move on, because you deserve to be happy.
2006-08-24 04:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by zensumman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the best solution. If he refuses to open up, start giving him a taste of his own medicine and do the same he does to you. Go out with some friends, do fun things, act like you don't really care about it. Show him that YOU are in YOUR own world. He will see that and want to come back around. Trust me.
2006-08-24 04:44:21 · answer #7 · answered by Twiggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(From someone who has lived this life for 33yrs and should have left at yr 5:) 1) talk to him-make your expectations very clear 2) go to couseling 3)set a deadline for things to improve If this does not work - GET OUT! Those guys who want a marriage - will work at it because "He is JUST that INTO you" Those who don't are: "Just NOT THAT into you" and you can make them or change them!! I tried!!!
2006-08-24 05:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by Freya T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try making some time 4 the both of u. maybe u 2 need 2 get away so that he can clear what ever it is that's blocking him from giving u the attention u deserve.
2006-08-24 05:02:25 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your marriage is getting a bit disconnected, and you're afraid he's not paying attention to you. Just be open about it.
You can also do something to spice up your marriage, and ask him if he has any ideas about it.
2006-08-24 04:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by Adam G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋