"if we broke up it would not matter to him cause i bring nothing to table" his words and i bi%ch all the time. Now here's the question Would you go the wedding and reherasal dinner after all this?? I keep going back and forth need other input
2006-08-24 04:26:06 · 39 answers · asked by ycd71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you want to save your marriage (!) I would go, because if not than per sure he'll remind you about it all the time. I will go to the wedding (that way you can say to him that you DID go to the wedding, even hi told you such a thing) but I will sleep separate and not talk to him until hi will sorry.
2006-08-24 04:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by Yulia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you were fighting, you both have probably said some hurtful things. He may really be fed up with certain things you do, and he may be trying to send you an s.o.s. message. Don't over-analyze the hurtful comment - unless you have a reason to believe he really meant what he said. I would try to concentrate on a problem itself; what was it that you guys were fighting about? He feels that you b*tch too much; this actually is a common complaint in marriage - perhaps it would be wise for you to curb it somewhat? (I do it too, and my fiancé brought it up a few times, now I'm really trying to watch myself; even when I do feel like complaining sometimes, I bite my tongue when the issue isn't that important - this way, when I do bring something up, he will be more likely to listen.)
I feel that you shouldn't compound a problem by refusing to go to this wedding. If you don't want to do it for your husband, do it for the couple - your absence will be noticed. I would certainly go to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding; you can sort things out with your husband later.
2006-08-24 05:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definatley go. Don't let the argument ruin your friends special day. But you definately need to ask him... if you bring nothing to the table and if it wouldn't bother him if you two broke it off, then why is he with you? Maybe it's time to get marriage counseling, and if he say's no then you should really think about your future without him. Nobody needs to be put down, insulted, and made to feel low, especially from your own husband. There are "billions" of other men out there waiting to treat you like a queen, and your wasting time with this jerk. But if he's willing to go to counseling then he may be worth holding on to. That's a decision you have to make when the time comes. Good Luck
2006-08-24 04:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by CLM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your husband say this in the heat of anger? My husband and I have said horrible things to each other in the past when we're really good and angry at each other, but after we calm down, we both realize we didn't really mean what we said. But I've spent sleepless nights crying my eyes out over stuff we've said before. See if your hubby's calmed down a bit, he probably has, and try to make up with him--which can usually be quite fun! ;-) And yes, I would probably attend the wedding and rehearsal dinner with my husband, even after a fight. Couples fight, it's a fact of life, it's how you resolve the differences that will make a good marriage. Best of luck to you, I hope you can get it worked out.
2006-08-24 04:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go to the wedding. Go to someone who can help you figure out how to start over again. Maybe back to your parents for now? Home is where you can relax and see clearly what has gone wrong in your life (I hope you had that kind of home).....it's never too late to start over again, if you are unhappy with your current situation. Gosh...I hope you don't have kids...if yes- forget what I said....in that case....
.... go to that party- fake good spirits....and the next day go to the library and fetch "Living The 7 Habits" by Stephen R. Covey. If reading was never your thing....for the kids' sake read this book and you will get some ideas on how to better coexist with someone you think seems to have fallen out of love with you..
2006-08-24 04:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should still go, Your husband being a jerk hasn't got anything to do with your husbands bff. I'd go for one it'll probably be good food at the rehearsal dinner and two weddings are always fun, don't miss out on the fun because of BS.
2006-08-24 04:30:17 · answer #6 · answered by jdnsmama1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knew that you bi%ch all the time then he should get over it and not talk about this... so I am confused because about If we broke up it would not matter to him because I bring nothing to table. that is true but because he has to hold on to it and then bring it up at home before he go BFF at the table.???? that stupid... and he don't even care what you have to say or anything.
That kind of immure of him to think that... he need to be man enought to talk to you better than that.
The best input you going to do is fine what ever you say. go and act like nothing happen and then if he bring up talked about you bad things what you did and don't say nothing bad about him and then they will looked at him huh??? she is a bi%ch?? how can it be?? ummmm. So now on don't complain any plm to him or say just nob your head yes and no that all. then he wills ay wil you pls talk to me not doing that damn nob thing. tell him oh well, you always bring something up before we go places don't know why. but you said it and now i just keep it to myself.
that will look good. smiling.
2006-08-24 04:51:17 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go, let ur husband know that u r not doing it for him but to support his bf. Have a good time and live a little. Don't exspect ur husband to change, even though it may of been the heat of the moment he still knows what he said hurt u.... I don't exactly know the situation u r in but if u don't work I would try and find a job to show him that u can and would if u have to live without him. GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-24 04:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by fox69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe have a talk?? Ask him if he wants you to go with him?? If he is embarrassed by you?? Is that why he married you-to bring something to the table?? Did he really mean this or was it said in the heat of the moment?? Just a thought. Good Luck
2006-08-24 04:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he said is very hurtful. I'm sure that you don't feel like going.
However, it could be an opportunity to spend time in a social setting and reconnect with him a little.
After the wedding, you two have to see a marriage counselor and work on why this fight occurred. Otherwise, it's over.
2006-08-24 04:32:05 · answer #10 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋