Are you still in a relationship even though you know it's over?

Question

I saw this question on a website and wanted to know our stories tell me, vent, I would like to read and give away 10 points!

Answer 1

I am no longer in a relationship but I did stay in one for quite a long time despite the fact that I knew that it was over and that it wasn't really in my best interest to stay. My soon to be ex-husband and I had a very rocky relationship which had become both emotionally and physically abusive and was also tainted with lots of infidelity and lies. I stayed for a long time based on the sole reasoning that I loved him and thought that he would eventually find the capacity to change and then also because we had a daughter together. Towards the very end of our relationship, I was completely miserable. I would vent out to my friends constantly about how I wanted to leave because there was such a lack of communication, abuse, and suspicions of infidelity amongst the many lies that he had told. Even then I still had emotions for him though the relationship was virtually non-existent and horrible. I guess you can say the familiarity and security of having someone there was another reason that made the thought of making such a drastic change and filing for a divorce so difficult. In March, my suspicions were finally proven when he came home one night with a hickey on his neck. He had the audacity to tell me that he had no idea how it got there and then tried to make it as though it was some shaving incident. I could barely stand to be around him and my suspicions were just overwhelming...A few days after this whole ordeal, I searched his wallet and found a note from a woman saying something along the lines of "hey sexy, I hope you think of me"...This was the final straw and the sign that I had to get out and get out now...I kicked him out of the house and even afterwards for a few months we were still talking and even thinking about reconciling though the connection that we once had was still non-existent and the trust that I had started to build again towards him (hes cheated prior to this) was no longer there. I am finally on my own and my divorce should be final in a few weeks. Even though I knew that it was over for at least six months to a year prior to kicking him out of my house, like I said there was a familiarity and comfort of keeping him in my life. He and I had been together since we were 16 (and married at 18, now 23) and it was difficult to finally give up on the lies that I wanted to believe the most, that he would change and that our marriage would work. I also hated the fact that so many people told us we would fail because of our youth and it kind of felt like if we did end, then they were right and we really were doomed from the start. My daugther was also a huge factor because I wanted her to have her family there but after the incident back in March, I realized finally, that staying together would only teach her everything wrong about a relationship and give the impression that it is okay to mistreat a woman. Looking back now, its kind of surreal that I even stayed as long as I did and that the justifications I used actually seemed logical at one point in time. If someone constantly hurts you or for whatever reason does not make you happy and is not willing to put the actual effort into working with you to change then it is wise to get out as soon as you can to spare yourself any further pain. Life is too short to waste it putting effort into something that will never work. However, as I have experienced and I am sure many others have as well, people will endure a great deal of pain for just a chance at love...

Answer 2

Yes, sometimes a relationship become a force of habit. You decide to leave, leave, then go right back because you fee the flame is still there. It's not over until it's over. If you are still there, then you need to find the reason and use that to rekindle the fire

Answer 3

My g/f and I see each other an avg of once a month now; it's over in a practical sense, but when we do see each other, we act no different than when we were seeing each other daily.

It's more a result of busy schedules than bad feelings; if things happen, they will, but otherwise we're riding the status quo for no reason other than to avoid the hassles of a formal break.

Answer 4

when there is a relationship its never over. u always have memories that will be there and if u loved a person some where in ur heart there always will be love. there a lot of ppl who stay for the sake of their kids ( i cannot take name but i know them) they r strangers or just room mates and their kids r too small to understand whats going on, its sad but sometimes there is no choice they dont fight like crazy ppl they still argue but they r almost like zombies no life in either one of them.

Answer 5

yes and it is basically just for convience. I do love him but not in love with him, and he is like a STEP IN father to my children. He just has a lot of growing up still to do even though he is almost 40..... And I am tired of the dating game. SO I guess it sounds like I am using him! So maybe I am!

Answer 6

Yes but sometimes is not easy to end a relationship specially when the other person is trying to give you her best. But when is over sooner or later the truth is going to surface and the...

Answer 7

That is a really good question and I think a lot of people do that....I have done it and I know its bad but sometimes I just can't figure out what would be best.

Answer 8

No you're not in a relationship anymore if it's over and you know it, but what you are in is denial.

Answer 9

yep. it is an odd feeling, it makes you feel sad, like you are all alone and you start to see all the other lonely, sad people.

Answer 10

yes