I'm married for 14 years. 2 Kids. Full-time job. Wife is stay-at-home mom.
I also have a part-time weekend job. Overall, I make around 50K plus.
I work 8 to 14 hours a day.
I have school after work to further my education.
I skip lunch every day to cut down on financial spending and get more work done.
I come home at night and do at least 80% of the overall chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes etc...plus be Super-Dad for my kids before bedtime.
I'm Super-Husband after the kids are in bed.
Is it too much to ask for a thank you or a little appreciation?
I'm wondering If I'm just a messed-up person or whether there are others like me. I almost feel like a single parent sometimes.
2006-08-24 04:09:50 · 24 answers · asked by genetic_traitor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not like I mind doing all these things. I've had "THE TALK" with her and she promises to do better, but it never lasts long. Again, it's more the appreciation issue than actually having to do all that stuff. Mainly, I do it cause my kids deserve a warm, clean, well-lit environment and a full belly. I'm pretty much of the mind that if I don't do it, it won't get done. Experience has shown this. BTW, thanks for the honest replies.
2006-08-24 04:32:16 · update #1
I looked up your recently asked questions and saw that you have been having this problem for a while. I also see that she is not very affectionate person either. It sounds to me like she is very selfish. I know that if my husband let me stay home ...the house would be spotless and dinner would be made. You have family....and it seems you are the only one contributing to this family. She has taken advantage of you and she really could care less if you were hurt by this. My advice...your wife needs a severe wake up call! I would stop doing the laundry, cooking and cleaning..tell her to get off her dead butt and do something. My brothers marriage ended because his wife was lazy. He is very happy now and is gettting ready to be married again to a wonderful woman who has taken in his 3 children and is more of a mother and housewife than his ex could ever imagine being. This is not fair for you by any means, I may even consider leaving her for awhile see how she like handling everything for herself. Let her know you mean business....obviously these "talks" you're having with her are not working!! Here is a question for you....if she isn't doing anything all day...what does she do? She is not helping around the house and she is not interested in sex...is it possible she is having an affair? I can't understand why she would be this way...any woman would die to have a man like you! The longer you let it go on the worse its going to get..you need to do something ...it won't get any better. Good Luck to you....you deserve so much better!!!
2006-08-24 05:19:39 · answer #1 · answered by Smoops 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a messed-up person. Everyone has the right to validation and appreciation, and your wife should be the main person in your life who gives you those things. I suggest giving up the chores... and let her do her share. Don't even say anything about it. Do your own laundry and dishes and light cleaning if you must. Maybe even get the kids involved like it's all a fun game or competition. (Maybe the wife will get the hint.) Be super husband and super dad, but don't take on more than you should. A marriage is a team effort. You can't play the game by yourself.
2006-08-24 04:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me that your wife should be doing some of those chores. Afterall, you did say she didn't work. I don't think you should have to work and go to school and then still come home and do so many chores. She should be able to do a majority of those things while you are at work. If she isn't going to help she should definetly show some more appreciation to you at least a simple little thank you. I have been married for 10 years and I'm a stay-at-home mom of 4 kids and I do all the chores. The only things that I ask of my husband is to help with house repairs or taking out the trash and of course he always spends time with the kids. I think you need to have a talk with her and get her to help out more.
2006-08-24 04:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by sexymoma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs a wake up call. No she does not only need to appreciate she also needs to help, in fact for a father who works so many hours you should have to do nothing at home.
make her do a week's work or do nothing at home for a week and see how she likes it. the problem could be that you are so used to doing all the stuff it has become routine that you just end up doing it.
I could go on forever but better stop
All the best
2006-08-24 04:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by dino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 years? get her off the couch! I am a stay at home mom, and love it, my husband gets up at 4:00 a.m. in the morning to work an 8 hour+ day, and i get up with him, make his breakfast, pack his lunch, and when he walks through the door he has dinner waiting on him, no chores for him unless it's something i can't do. i even mow the 3 acres we have , because i want to not because i have to. I just really appreciate him letting me stay home with our son when he is out of school. NO B"Sing either she needs a wake-up call!!!!
2006-08-24 05:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by 67camarolvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will probably be the only time I give a serious answer because I can relate. The problem is, that you are being taken advantage of. Pure and simple. You need to be firm and say something and you will be amazed at the results.
2006-08-24 04:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by ready4it45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want more 'clean and tidy' things to do, then you could wash other floors, dust and polish, clean windows, have a change around with furniture, arrange things differently, sort through your kitchen etc Or something fun, go out and shop till you drop!
2016-03-27 03:38:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well wlelcome to the womens world "normally" let me ask you what does your wife do? Does she work as well? Maybe she is depressed. What talk did you have? Also Appreciation comes in all forms not just a verbal "thank you" Maybe she is showing appreciation in another way.
2006-08-24 04:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by Injunswife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to wake up and see what she's got. She stays home all day she should have more of the chores done. But you should help with those to but not most of it.
2006-08-24 04:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Donna M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the purpose of your wife being a stay at home mom if she doesn't do most of the chores? You need to sit down with her and dicuss this problem.
2006-08-24 04:16:57 · answer #10 · answered by Black Like A Tar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋