When do you draw the line?

Question

When you're asked to change your behavior by a loved one or friend, when do you draw the line between this is a behavior that can be changed vs. this is who I am all the way through to my core?

And how does one know when it's considered a personality quirk vs. a behavior that should be changed?

Answer 1

Try and look at the behavior from an outside point of view. Pretend you are watching someone else do what ever it is they want you to change. Is it harmful? Is it reasonable? Does it put MOST people off or just a few? Is it something you CAN change? Ultimately it is you that has to decide, even if it is something that needs addressing and you are not ready or willing to change. somebody else cannot force you to do it. If this is really something about you that is not WRONG, just rubs them the wrong way, think of examples of their behavior that you may feel the same way about. Let them know you are willing to let them be who they are and you expect the same from them.

Answer 2

I have to consider where and who is questioning my behavior and how they go about it. If they do it in mature fashion, and in a private area, I would have to think about what they are pointing out that needs attention, and may be considered a motion for change. If the friend or loved one is doing it publicly and has no self-control and has issues themselves but treating me in a disrespectful way I will not tolerate it, handle it in a mature fashion, that will give them something to ponder, and question their own behavior with the realization of a part of who I am without question, and will have no choice but to consider changing their own behavior, before socializing with me period. I also must consider, however, the circumstance meaning whether or not the individual has experienced traumatic events, which behavior/s will surface and is part of their usual personality. Pain comes out in different forms and timing can be unpredictable. Thanks for asking.

Answer 3

I'm a lot more stubborn about what I'm willing to do now that I'm older.
If I am exhibiting a character flaw that hurts another person, that has to stop. Like if I were to divulge a secret they've asked me to keep, or did not folow through on a promise I've made.
If it's a request that I accept another persons deliberately hurtful behavior, no thank you. As in, say, your guy ALWAYS finds it more important to hang with his friends, but expects you to be available for him when no one else is availabe.
If it's a request that doesn't involve my own best interest in the equation, no. Like as in, I can't pay my own bills because you expect me to pay yours.
Cool question

Answer 4

When you consciously develop a problem with completing the task. The inner brain becomes confused becasue you are hitting it with full force of something not carefully thought out and youn won't accept the answers given.

Answer 5

You draw the line when the writing is on the wall.
Also, it is usually the people who are complaining about something who 'draw the line'.........not the person being asked to change. eg.'I don't mind you doing ....this...... but I draw the line at you doing.....that......'

Answer 6

Never cave in to pressure. Don't change yourself for another person. If they have a problem with your personality, then they aren't really your true friend.

Answer 7

it depends on what is being changed. if it's a personality quark, i'd tell them to hit the road. if its being rude or something of that nature, i'd have to change.

Answer 8

I'm accepted as I am luckily! There are things I am trying to change but they are things I dont like.

Answer 9

It boils down to how much you value their friendship? What authority do they have to judge you? I think if I were you, I'd just move on.

Answer 10

That would depend on what exactly you want to/are asked to change!!!!