To married couples, are you afraid of attachment? (Please read on.)?

Question

I'm 23 years old and single. But I have this one question. Are you afraid of attachment to your spouse?

What I mean is, in the prospect of death, does it ever bother you that when you die you will turn the rest of your family's lives upside down?

I know that in the wedding vows - you vow to stay together until death do you part. But this really doesn't answer my question. This issue is also one of the reasons why I don't date. I don't want to run the risk of destroying someone else's life. Please share your opinion.

I am not afraid of commitment, friendships, dating or even death. I am a Christian, so I know where I'm going when I die.

My fear is hurting someone else unnecessarily.

Answer 1

All people know that death is imminent, and adjust to the fact that it will happen some day. Please don't let this deter you from dating and some day marrying. Marriage is a wonderful thing when you find someone you love.

I have been happily married for 51 years, and of course, I am attached to my husband. That's one of the reasons you get married, you want to spend your life with them. Having children is a wonderful joy also.

Please re-think your thoughts on this. There are many more happy times being married, than not being married.

Answer 2

Hmm.. I am afraid of attachment, not because I'm scared I'll pass away or my partner would pass away- but that the relationship would turn sour or they'd leave me. I think that is a bad reason not to date- because if you're always afraid of what might happen in the far-off-future, you'd never get to actually LIVE. And loving someone completely and fully, is risking alot of emotional pain. But, its also the most rewarding feeling there is- to be loved and to give love.
If you are 23 and scared about dying, either evaluate your life style or consider that you might be a hypochondriac. At this point in your life that shouldn't be a fear... maybe its a manifestation of your commitment issues or your way of explaining away why you are still single- but it seems like a very invalid reason to not date.

Answer 3

The older you get the more you come to terms with death and you are not afraid of it like when you are young. I was afraid of death as a young person. The older I get the more it doesn't bother me at all. It is something that happens to all of us. Even if you marry someone and they died, you will have some happy memories of them for the rest of your life. They were in your life for a reason and you probably learned some things from them. What a special life lesson that would be to have. Sure, I don't want my husband to die, but that is not a reason not to have married him. I commend you for putting so much thought into something at such a young age.

Answer 4

Death is a natural part of life.. there isn't anything to be afraid of as far as dying... what scares me more than the actual thought of being gone from this world is how I will leave it... that isn't a reason to not date... I lost my best friend of 8 years this past January... he was like a brother to me.. and although I grieved dearly for the loss... at the same time I was grateful for having had the blessing of sharing my life with an angel... even if it was only for a short time... the happiness he brought me during our friendship outweights the pain I felt at his loss. I could have let the grief overtake me or look at it as the gift that it was.... The fact is you wouldn't be destroying someone else's life.. it is their choice how to handle the loss.

Answer 5

Family is an attachment. The same way with anyone you love. When someone does it makes you cry and wish the person was still alive. Thats something everyone has to go through. That has family or friends or a husband/wife. Dont you want to be with someone then being alone the rest of your life....Dont put off your dating...life is precious and time goes by fast...the wheel is moving.

Answer 6

If you live your life with the fear of dying-you will never truly "live" your life. You should live your life like every day is your last-but the fear of getting attached to someone? At your age, unless you are fatally ill, you should not worry about that. Maybe you should check into life insurance. Then you will leave your family something. I think maybe you should talk to a counselor or priest about this.

Answer 7

I believe that you'll hurt yourself more by not sharing yourself with someone that can make you happy. You can't destroy someones life just by being in it. You need to understand that death is a part of life itself,we can't live forever,no one can but if you don't share your love you'll just grow old and bitter,cause when your old you'll finally understand that and it will be to late. Don't cheat yourself,enjoy love while you can for as long as you can.

Answer 8

That is a really weak rationalization for your fear of rejection. Maybe the kids on here will buy that. Life is what it is, it wont change because your perspective doesnt fit it. Stop using weak excuses and go get yourself a girlfriend.

Answer 9

well,you just cant stop living by the fear of death....life is full of sorrows and happiness,that doesnt mean you will stop living in this world even before you die.......and love is the most wonderful gift you can ever give someone...

Answer 10

If you don't love, you don't live. Why spend your life lonely, worrying about the future? We're all going to die, we're all going to affect someone else's life as they will affect ours. Don't be afraid of it any longer - get out there and LIVE!