My husband is completely open and honest with his sister, but not me.What do I do?

Question

I hate my sister-in-law and my husband is extremely close to her. His relationship with her is killing our marriage and I have no idea what to do about her. My husband and myself are going to counseling, but she will still be around afterwards.

Answer 1

Plain and simple you need to tell him what goes on in your marriage is your business not hers and if he wants to have a heart to heart conversation with her so bad he can hit the door.I have been there and done that with a sister in law i promise you if you don't put your foot down you will be fighting about this forever.Thank god my current husband doesn't have sisters.She knows it bothers you its a game to her i promise she sits back and laughs show her whos boss.Don't take any **** from her..

Answer 2

she might also need to be a part of the counseling. ask the counselor the next time.

some men don't know when to separate. i have the same issue but with his mother (SCREAM).

you need to keep a cool and calm head and have a sit down across a table (makes you even in the verbal exchange) and tell him you are his wife. that means he is to think of you as his best friend. sisters are siblings. it is nice when they get along. BUT she is not your wife - I am.

the relationship between the two of you needs to become different for our marriage to survive. you will always have your sister, but you might not always have your wife. divorce is a terrible thing. i am pretty sure you Don't want to go that route. Will you please try with me to resolve this?

Now, you have to deal with this hate thing. She has to have some good qualities or he wouldn't be bothering with her either. Work on those thoughts. Don't focus on the bad. Keep a positive attitude about her. The sisters need to be having lunch together or a drive to pick up some plants because you would like her opinion. See - little things. She will be more accepting of the time when she might have to be told that she needs to distance herself from her brother in order to save his marriage.

I have a brother-in-law that is a total jerk but i know he loves my sister and their kids. So i don't worry so. Maybe your husband thinks she needs him? Does she have any friends that you could talk to? A nice person that would only say something in a kind and sensitive way. Gentle gets a better resolve then force.

Please understand that this is fixable. The two of you need to adjust. Both of you need to work at this. Good luck and keep up with the counseling. You can get through this.

Answer 3

First, it's not killing your marriage, and she's blood. It would be a lot different if it were a co-worker or a girl he met at a bar. Relax, there's just some things guys can't work through with their significant others and they need to enlist the help of a relative. I'm very close with my sibling, and to be told it's the cause of my failed relationship is just a bogus reason. Being given an altimatum to choose between family or a woman is a pretty raw deal.

Answer 4

Tell him exactly how you feel. You are both in this marriage together, you need to air things out. Yes she's his sister but you're his wife. He now needs to share things with you too. You cannot have secrets between you guys cos then your marriage is just a joke. You've become one, you must share everything together and be there for each other.Best of luck

Answer 5

u understand each and every females has her days the place shes uncertain and that i'm getting the place u are coming from.PPl are gonna decide what u sense and dont understand what u must be dealing with. Its ok 2 have talk with him approximately his previous. because of the fact if u dont ask any questions ...u wont understand the reality and u could have doubts regarding the integrity of how forward for u the two,finding on how real a man or woman is.From the day u met them onto later days while u married.the reality AND THE grotesque could take longer and particularly circumstances we elect 2 develop and understand for particular...IS OUR MARRIAGE DOWN the line GONNA BE risk-free.R THERE ANY LEADS OR IS THERE some thing skipped over? And if him mendacity is reason of suspecting "Who ur married to" very almost like" WHO THE BLEEP DID I MARRY?"What else ought to he be hiding. I agree hun...while u are being well mannered and in civil way ,merely 2 understand for ur very own reassurance.I dont think of something is erroneous with that. i'm hoping he stops lieing to u.s. the the two one in all u could have some peace and exciting and not assume no longer something later.

Answer 6

Sounds like you may need to be more open to your sister. Talk to her and be open to the idea of your relationship. Who knows it could be a friend in hiding. Marriage takes sacrifice and struggle. I'm sure you know not many of us do get along anyway,so we have to just try and make it work.

Answer 7

the problem is with you obviously, any amount of counseling is not gonna fix things. unless you move outta state, your marriage is doomed, you obviously cannot learn to love them both and become a part of the little relationship that they have. try talking to the sister alone and become real good friends with her if you do that htings will work out i promise. if you cant put your differences aside your doomed.

Answer 8

And she will still be your sister-in-law, if you stay married to him.
There comes a time when things between couples should be just that...between you and him. He needs to learn that your marriage is just that....you and him.

If he is telling her about all your problems that you both have, he is building up resentment from her towards you...of course all marriages have their problems, but they should be worked on between the both of you...

At least you both are getting counseling, that should help in opening you both up about your feelings. But if you stay married, she is always going to be your sister in law, so you are just going to have to deal with her. And she is always going to side with her brother. He just needs to learn to be a little more discreet when it comes to both of your problems.

Answer 9

if you want your marriage to work you will probably have to figure out a way to connect with the sister. brother & sister relationships are hard to break they are usually very protective about each other. with time your mate will start to side with you on most things.

Answer 10

Simply just tell her how you feel. If that doesn't work then maybe you should tell the sister to talk to him for you, but try the first one first. Hope this information helps you! :- D