iv been with my partner for 10yrs now we have got a 6yr old child i am now wantig to have another but he says no but im crying out for one is it up to him when we have another or me or is it both as one minute he says yes and were like rabbits then in next breath he goes all cold on me and wont come near wot should i do??
2006-08-24 02:19:56 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Its obvious he has doubts about another child. And yes it takes two to have one and to take responsibility for doing so. If he is blowing hot and cold it means he is unsure, it may be money worries, he may be ok with what u have and u keep harping on about it will only make him more determined not to want one.
Sit down with him and lay all the cards on the table. You can then decide if it's what you both want. You also have to respect one anothers desicions and dont push all the time. If he is adiment that he doesn't want another child and you do, either respect him or maybe its time for you to move on and find another partner for whom wants children in the future.
2006-08-24 02:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you get pregnant knowing he doesn't want another child then you shouldn't be surprised if he left you as a result. It would be unfair on him, your current child and your unborn child if it was born into a family where it wasn't wanted 100%.
If you want a child so badly and he is undecided then you need to give it time, if he definatly doesn't want any more then you need to decide what you want more, the family you have or do you move on and start a new family with someone else.
Or get a hobby to take your mind of it!!
2006-08-24 10:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by Bob Simons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would use the age excuse. Tell him that if your going to have another baby that you should get having one for 2 reasons.
reason 1 your ages. it is not as safe to have a baby when you get older(im not sure of your age) Their is a greater risk to you and the baby. More birth defects and down syndrome etc.
reason 2 and i know this from experience seeing my kids are 19, 9, and 2 You want the kids to be somewhat close in age so they are close and know each other. I have know people who have kids 15 years apart and the kids aren't even close, and they don't even know what to say to each other.
Well these are just suggestions. Good luck!
2006-08-24 09:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by Caryn P 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds immature and controlling and very confused......your decision shouldn't be whether or not to have a baby with him...it should be whether or not to stay with him. If you decide to get pregnant without his 'blessing" you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of hassles and pain.....I suggest rethinking this whole relationship and getting rid of the jerk. Go get yourself a man that loves you and treats you good....plus wants the same things as you do.....I am not a religious person - but I think maybe you should be married before you commit to babies, etc......otherwise the emothinal commitment isn't there....why have you been together 10 years but are not married?
2006-08-24 11:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by jachooz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and find out why he is all over the place. Having a baby should be a joint decision. Its as difficult when a man says he wants a child and then rejects the reality when the child is born (happened with my 2nd - divorce pending).
2006-08-24 16:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you are going through a bit of a rough patch... all couples go through it at some point.. some worse than others. id talk to him and explain how you feel. at least that way you'll know whats going wrong.. maybe then you can put it right. i wouldn't worry about it too much. maybe he just doesn't want children at the moment... maybe life at work is too stress full and he feels it isn't the right time.. the best thing to do though is talk to him. The best relationship is an open one.
2006-08-24 10:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just decide wats more important, having another baby or staying with this man. he should at least be willing to discuss the issue with you, if he is not giving u the time of day on the matter i suggest u give him an ultimatum. u could live the rest of ur life regretting if u dont have another child. i know its harsh but if you dont want the same things why are you together?
2006-08-24 09:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally would not be trying or a baby with someone who acts this way. If you get pregnant he may turn on you so I would just work on the relationship first
2006-08-26 09:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Jadie_Baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation....Maybe pressuring him is making him turn "cold". Just discuss it with him and then just have sex without protection and let it happen naturally without placing pressure on each other. It might just be a stress thing for him? But I personally wouldn't want to do it without the father wanting the pregnancy...if your married that would be killer on the relationship. Good Luck!
2006-08-24 09:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by jamiecarter01 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him & explain how you feel, it would be unfair on the child if it was brought into a family where one partner didn't really want it.
2006-08-24 09:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋