Should I try to communicate with my husbands EX?

Question

This question is in addtion to my previous question titled "How do I get an obsessive ex away from me?" Please see my profile.

My question now is should I try to respond to that email my husbands EX wrote to him? I feel the letter was a direct contact to me by her saying that I'm having a baby when infact I'm NOT and all the things she mentioned about how she feels that's the only why we got married which is all untrue...I just want to stop this girl before she get's soo out of hand...

So, is it my position to respond to the letter or is it my husbands job to have his Ex not to disrespect me like that...

Thank you for your time =)

Yes, there is a child involved...I don't have a problem at all with them communicating about their son...My problem is the way she belittles me...It all started in March of this year when she saw my webpage online...She saw some picture's with her son on there and got overly jealous...She sent me an email at that time stating I need to mind my own business...What for? Isn't she the one looking into my site?...I let it be and ignored it...But then she kept dragging it on and I just kept my account as private so that she doesn't see anything and get jelouse...Now she's using her son's online account to get info on me...I don't think it's her right to talk to me that way...I just don't like the way she's attacking me thru my husband...Granted he's been ignoring all her emails...But she's also not letting his son contact him...She moved last mth and she just finally gave us her new address...I just don't like how manipulative she is...

Also, we thought about taking her to court for kidnapping and our lawyer already told us that we have a good chance...But then we where asked the question that if the child was asked by the judge who he wants to live with...We know that he'll have no choice but to pick his Mom...See my husband has always thought him since he was a baby to ALWAYS take care of his Mom no matter what...So, yes he learned now wat a big mistake that was...But he just doesn't have the heart to go thru the whole process and be spiteful like his Ex...So, he did not want to go that route...Yes, it's really hard coz we all know how much better he will be with us :-(

Answer 1

I don't think its your responsibility to say anything to this woman. You know it has already gotten ugly and anything you say can only get misconstrued. That is just more fuel for her to corrupt her son's mind. All communication should be coming from your fiance'. He needs to speak out when she insults you. This is his opportunity to show you that you can look forward to a wonderful and peaceful marriage. If he can't show that to you now then don't be surprised if he doesn't step up when you two are married.

I understand they may not want to get lawyers involved but if someone was trying to take my kids away from me or turn them against me I surely would get the courts involved. Somebody needs to fight for that kids sanity. Oh Yeah... PLEASE don't ever utter the words of "She is a bad mother" to anyone but especially your fiance'. Even if its true, it is not your place to say it. You should only speak positive things about this woman and if there aren't any then don't say anything. Trust me, your man and his son will see you are stronger and will stand beside you everytime.

Hope everything works out for you. God Bless!!

Answer 2

If I didn't have a little experience in this, my answer would be to let him take care of this BUT and this is important --- My ex husband's new wife and I had issues in the beginning. No jealousy or anything -- I had a 2 year old son so we had to stay in contact and she and I differed on parenting. So we fought back and forth in a roundabout way. I would tell my ex something and it got all screwed up (the communication). SO, we ended up talking about the problems we had with each other (2 hour phone conversation). Turns out -- we were not communicating our feelings the way we wanted and should have and things were "assumed" which caused hard feelings. We got it all straightened out. So -- in the longrun, we ended up friends!!! Communication is the key to sooo much. But not with a third party doing the talking and listening only.

Answer 3

I read your other post, and first, if he is now 13, he can legally choose to live with his father and the mother can not force him to stay. If he leaves than she can not force him to come back with her. He is old enough to make his own choice. To this one, email her back. You have the right to. Or even call her. She sounds like an insecure wacko. She should leave you alone and let your husband see his son. My husband has a daughter in Texas and his ex will not let him see her. they where never married so he can't do much about it. He also has a son in California with another women, and he talks to via email all the time. So it mostly depends on the people involved on how to see their children. She doesn't sound like a good mother at all. I would also suggest that you and your husband go see your stepson and ask him where he wants to live, with you, or his mother. I would do it like that but without telling his mother that you are coming. Try getting your husband to talk to him while he is at school. That would work. It would give your stepson a chance to talk to his father without his mother their standing over his shoulder. Good luck.

Answer 4

There is no reason for you and his ex to be in any sort of contact. What she is saying are just words. You know they are untrue so ignore her. He needs to set her straight about you and tell her to back off. Unless they have children together, there is no reason for them to even be in contact. Why don't you be the better person. It sounds like his ex is upset that he left her and has moved on with you. She is probably hurting. Put yourself in her shoes as to how you would fee. Reality is, you have the man. Is it worth all the drama? In a couple of years you will have forgotten all about it and can probably laugh at what went on.

Answer 5

From experience, the more attention either you or your husband gives to her the more she will demand. Best option is to cut ALL contact with her and ignore any attempts of contact (both you and your husband). You have better things to do than spend your time dealing with her - she's not worth it! If you keep the contact, it might jeapordize your relationship with your husband. Just a thought...I sense a hint of insecurity and now trying to have control...Focus on your husband and build your future together.

Answer 6

the only reason you should talk to an ex is if kids are involved other than that sounds like she is spiteful and if he still talks to her why? no tellin what he says to her. you should not respond 2 her it is her bait so she can confront you with acusations and physical violence let her be .the dog will quite barking when she gets a new bone

Answer 7

She is already out of hand
It is none of her business,and in a way your husband is kinda wrong to it is easy to block her email address from sending you mail and he can also change his address so she does not have it.If it was me I would respond but only after I gave him opportunity to respond and tell her to get a life and stay out of his.

Answer 8

i don't think that's ur position cause the letter was not addressed to u, it was addressed to the husband.. but if she is interfering in ur relationship and becoming a nuisance then u and he (ur husband) should approach her together.. especially since u don't even know if he is leading her on.. and how does she know his email addr.. it's obvious that ur husband is communicating w/his ex still...

Answer 9

If the letter was sent to him, he needs to be a man and take care of it. After all, it's not your job to take care of HIS ex. Tell him he needs to give her ONE chance to leave you both alone, and then take the legal route after that, if it comes to that.

Answer 10

I think u really need to talk to ur hubby and get this ex (hoe) out of the way