Wedding is this weekend... I have just found out that the bride might not be able to have children... and will not tell my friend. The whole reason for him to get married is to have children as he wants to have them badly. The fiance has asked me not to tell... because it may be enough to stop the wedding.
2006-08-24 01:36:43 · 25 answers · asked by John J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. You should not tell. This a situation that they are going to have to work out for themselves.
2006-08-24 01:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by chipmunk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhhh.... That's a sticky situation. What validity does she have to back up her statement about not being able to have children? If she had a medical condition I'm certain her fiance, your friend would know about it. She might just be thinking that because of fear. I was told that I couldn't have children by a doctor before I even began having sex. He was wrong. I now have 3 beautiful girls. If you tell you could be stopping something wonderful from taking place. And don't forget about "Shoot the messenger". Your friend might not be too happy with you. If I were you I would talk with the bride to be and tell her your concerns. Ask her what reason she has for thinking that she can't have children. If it's a real concern then I would tell her she needs to tell him before you do. If not then let it go... her nerves are getting the better of her. That way it is between them and you are not caught in the middle. If she doesn't tell him and you feel she should after your conversation then it is your responsibility as a friend to spill the beans. Good luck to you and God bless all of you. I'll be praying.
2006-08-24 08:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer this question for you. I started to type "my advice would be"... but deleted it. I don't know nearly enough to even offer a suggestion.
Some thoughts for consideration:
1) there are many ways to have children, including IVF and adoption
2) your friend may already know
3) what is the nature of the reproductive difficulty?
4) how did you find out?
5) what is your personal history with each of them?
I share your discomfort. It smells fishy and makes me uncomfortable. Secrets are a bad way to begin a life together, and the situation you've presented sounds destined for problems.
OTOH, couples overcome problems -- even big ones.
You're in a difficult fix here. There are many more ways for this to go badly than to go well.
2006-08-24 08:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by Carl M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best for u to just stay out of it... "might" is a big Maybe yes, Maybe no.. so its not like she knows for sure that she cant have children, so i'd leave it alone.. if shes decieving him (if she knows for sure she cant ) then he will find out..lies have away of coming to a head.. but I would not tell the friend on a "might" scenerio.. if he truely loves her, he will get through this with her if she cant.. and it wouldnt make any difference to him at that point.
Think about it this way since the only thing ur thinking about is saving him from possible heartache..
What if u tell him, he calls off the wedding, dumps her ect... she goes on to find another man, he still loves her but just wont marry her cause of the MIGHT baby scenerio.. she marrys another man, and gets pg by that man.. what do u think that would do to ur friend then? what do u think it would do to ur's and his friendship knowing he dumped a girl based on u butting in, just to find out it wasnt true????
Leave it alone... best u can do is try to pursuade the bride to tell him.. other then that, stay out of it..
2006-08-24 08:52:41 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're a real friend...to the groom that is, I would say something. I may not go to the groom first...but I would go to the bride and recommend that she say something to the groom. If he's dead set on having children it could end up in a messy divorce. It's best to find out all secrets before marriage!!
2006-08-24 08:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by johnadams5951 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really don't know for sure if she can have kids. if you are real close to your friend causually bring up the subject and ask the what if for some reason you or her can't have kids.
if she is marrying for other reasons like money or somthing than ya i would say. but love gets you through your toughest times, and who knows she may be able to have kids with all the medical stuff that is out there. so i would not directly tell him.
2006-08-24 08:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by red_firecracker77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in some way u dont wanna put urself in a situation where u u will be the one who caused the fight....... in think maybe u should consider... all four or three of u ..... (her, the fiance, and u) go to lunch and u ask her " u know know that u r going to get married ... how many kids will u have?" she'll answer and then be like well "have u gotten checked to see if u can have babies..... my co-worker just went to the doc and found out she couldn't have any babies...... she was so sad, cuz her husband was thinking of leaving her , if she could have his babies........ Isn't that just so sad?"....... and then see what her response is.... kinda wierd but i think it would get in her head enough to tell him whats up.......
2006-08-24 08:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i wouldnt involve myself in this situation cause you are gonna be the one to blame if the wedding is stop the family is difinitly nt gonna like you big drama if i were you i would talk to the bride and explain to her that it is only right that she tells him its not fair to him to get marrid to her without knowing the truth if he really loved her he would understand if not then she wasnt meant for him buut my best advice to you try to stay outta of it trust me i put myself in someone elese promblem and came out hated by all. Good luck to you
2006-08-24 08:43:07 · answer #8 · answered by lola 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The bride should step up to the plate and say to who ever she marrying I may not able to have kids,and if the wedding is cancel he not the one for her.But it has to be her not you,
2006-08-24 08:56:12 · answer #9 · answered by Nails 4 breakfast,tacks 4 snacks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell! This is just as bad as a girl getting pregnant on purpose in order to get a guy to marry her, or telling a guy she's pregnant to get him to when she's not. Whether or not to have children is one of the most important factors in a marriage. If you don't tell, you need to stop referring to the man as your "friend".
2006-08-24 08:40:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should tell the bride that she needs to tell him. If he loves her enough to get married to her then he will understand. If he doesn't then he really doesn't love her enough.There are plenty of ways to have children. good luck
2006-08-24 08:43:33 · answer #11 · answered by baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋