A while back (a bit over a year), I went to one, right now I even have a fiancee, but I am really starting to think it did not work, and I am just lying to myself... I do not know what to do or think! I am really confused, and I hate it!
Admittedly, I am really not attracted to women sexually, but I do like one as a person enough to have a fiancee obviously... So is it possible, at least a bit, that I might be gay still?
2006-08-23 22:38:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The chances are slim and none.
What they can do is use aversion therapy techniques to psychologically damage your natural instincts. If you were gay going in, you're still gay coming out.
It is natural for you to LIKE members of both genders. I am a gay man, and I like women a whole lot. I respect them for the motherhood in them, I respect them as friends and coworkers, and I find some of them to be a lot of fun, and good support when I need it. I'm not sexually attracted to them. LIKE is not a good enough reason to marry her. It's not fair to her or you.
Break it off, and get as far, miles and emotions, as you can from whoever sent you to be programmed!
2006-08-24 02:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by michael941260 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello!! :o) In all fairness to your fiancee - you should be telling HER this. Maybe one day - you'll feel OK about getting married to a girl. But in the meantime - don't just hope that your sexual feelings will change AFTER you get married. Marriage is a BIG deal and needs to be taken very seriously. [Which is something you probably already know] But also don't get all wrapped up in the idea some people have that any sexual feelings you might still have for guys means that your gay. Or that 'being gay' is 'really' the life for you. A lot of gay guys LOVE to through around the old 'denial' accusation. Only YOU know where your heart lies. But there's more to it than even that. There's more to LOVE than having sex. If you love this girl enough to want her to be in your life AND feel that you could be faithful to her - then that's a pretty good reason in favour of getting married. But don't get married just so you can be next months cover boy on some 'ex-gay' pamphlet. [If you know what I mean] I wish you all the luck in the world as you try to find some answers. Craig!! :o)
2006-08-23 23:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're gay still...Better to admit it rather than 8 years down the road when you have a wife and 3 kids to worry about. Anyone can have sex on a fricional level,,and anyone can have a fiancee (who could/should easily be their best friend).
Being gay isn't bad at all once you finally accept that that's is what you are..Nothing really changes about your base character or anything..other than you tell youself the truth about your sexual attraction) No matter how much hype the program gave you about turning you straight..I've never heard of it being successful. If you need help with the being gay part there are plenty of good people who have been exactly where you are and can talk to you and help...Don't make a decision to marry and regret it for the rest of your life. It'll ruin your wife's life as well as yours and deeply upset your children.
Honestly I don't think you're confused--i think you're frightened..and that's okay and natural...you may stumble but you won't free fall forever...at some point you'll land with both feet on the ground. Go for it. Enjoy your life.
2006-08-23 23:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well.. you're one mixed up cookie aren't you? I think you need to get some professional help in the form of psychotherapy and try and stop deceiving yourself about your sexuality and more to the point stop deceiving your so called "fiancee". I find it completely disgusting and indeed inaprropriate that in 2006 people are still scared about being themselves and having an individual identity. Furthermore, this notion that homsexuality is in some way devient needs to be challenged and treated with the contempt it deserves. I suggest you seek some help from gay role models and start living a life that is honest to yourself.
2006-08-24 02:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by joelyboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did this "program" do to you?
Did they hit you over the head with a bible too many times?
I mean, did they use religion to 'change' you?
Sexual orientation is inherent....whether nature or nurture or both, it's still inherent. Who / what attracts you sexually cannot be changed. If you're sexually attracted to the same sex, you just are.
Your shame and guilt got you to that program.
It's time to stop hating yourself for who you are.
You're going to end up hurting your fiancee in the long run, and if you've been dishonest about your orientation to her already you need to correct it immediately. Yes, she will probably end the relationship....but hopefully she will be a bit understanding and support you.
If you're really confused and you hate it, you need to work on the confusion....see a gay-friendly counselor / therapist. You need to rid yourself of the guilt and shame caused assumably by religion.
2006-08-24 02:40:04 · answer #5 · answered by Jake 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the program didn't work. You should do 2 things:
1) Show your fiancee some respect and end the relationship so she can find someone who does passionately love her.
2) Accept yourself for who you are.
Denial is only going to mess you up in the long run.
Of course you could try going on the program again, but I find it very hard to believe it will work, you can't send a lion to zebra school.
2006-08-23 22:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by jackie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think many people ( including some who should know better! ) tend to categorize human sexual behavior entirely too much. IMHO, it's not a question of "gay, lesbian, transgendered, etc," it's more like where any particular person falls on a sliding scale. By labelling someone as "gay" or "straight," we tend to limit them in their own sexual options. It's better to just say "they're human and have their own preferences and options."
Quite frankly, I'm sick of all the furor over sexuality. Firstly, it's none of the government's business who I sleep with. Secondly, by repressing, denying or limiting in some way the "acceptable" variety of human sexuality, we are force-fitting people into artificial categories which have little or nothing to do with the incredible variety of human sexuality.
People just need to get over their personal aversions and find something constructive to do.
If you're honest with your finace, and she still loves you, who the hell cares if you enjoy a wider range of sexual behavior? It's none of their damned business!
2006-08-23 23:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by fhornsr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, there is no chance in turning gay people straight. You have to acceot who you are. There is nothing wrong in being gay and if you do not feel sexually attracted to women you should ask yourself wether you want to marry one, lie to yourself and hurt her and youself or live with the fact that you are gay.
2006-08-23 22:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are gay. Those programs try to brainwash you into believing you are something you really aren't. Don't be ashamed. Nothing wrong with being gay
2006-08-24 03:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i can say that yes your gay and accept yourselfe. or no your not gay your just horney. but whatever i say it wont make a diffrence. honestly you need to follow what you feel, be it in your pants or be it in your heart. do you realy think you can spend the rest of your life with a women in your bed every night?
2006-08-23 22:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by sined 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋