How can i help him?

Question

My son (age 19) has severe issues with Anxiety, blushing, nerves? ESP..when having to deal with the general public, it makes him leave his job/s and he just stays in his room all the time, to avoid the crippling emotion he feels when put in an uncomfortable situation.
His face goes beetroot as soon as he speaks. Very conscious of it..he is online most days searching forums for people with similar but i cant get him to go to the doctors, he wont come out with us as a family, he's becoming a recluse.
He only sees his friends becasue they come to HIM, he wont go out.

Answer 1

OH MY god Sarah

I have a older brother with the same problem, hes very shy in front of people, and scared of making hes life, and talking to people, like dealing with them, even his face gets red sometimes when talking to someone, and my mum is worried so worried about him too, so am I , the only thing I can say is that, they lack confidence alot of confidence, they feel very very scared they need a man help, as my father died when we were still kids, I suggust you push him , really really push , TELL HIM , that he can do anything nothing is hard, he needs a push and a right guide oh I really hope he comes out of this situation, the only time it will is when he feels confident , and easy around people,

Answer 2

I know it may sound absurd, but is he interested it amateur dramatics. If he is could you not persuade him to join a drama group in your area. Drama can help to overcome these sort issues that your son is experiencing and gives that much needed confidence boost.

In fact many well known actors became so because they had low self esteem when they were young and joined the local amateur dramatic groups before embarking on a professional career in acting.

Also I understand that learning martial arts is a good way to overcome anxiety and nerves. It could be that he is a naturally shy person and has not yet met people with whom he feels comfortable with.

Perhaps his pals could persuade him to join a mixed youth club where he will have the chance to meet girls of his own age. I'm sure then he will soon get over his anxiety and shyness.

I do hope he gets the help he needs. Your obviously a very supportive mother and that's what your son needs the support of you and your family.

Drag him away from his computer..... as he will become more introvert.

Answer 3

Well, his blushing could be caused by rosacea, which there are meds to control; people with rosacea blush more than others in the the same situation. It sounds like he has a bit of social anxiety, which he should talk to a professional about and/or maybe start taking medications for. Sometimes though people don't want to believe they need to take medications, the chemical imbalance , if there is one, can only be corrected this way. Encourage him to try different methods of treatment to overcome this.

Answer 4

This, unfortunately, isn't as rare as some might think. Social anxiety is a little-understood problem, but is very real to those suffering with it.

The best thing you can do is to continue to encourage your son to seek psychological counseling. When he sees the adverse effects social anxiety is having on his life, he will most likely follow your advice. In the meantime, be as supportive as possible so that he continues to trust and value your input.

Don't give up on him. This is torture for those who have to go through it.

Answer 5

This sounds like much more than anxiety. Look up agoraphobia. It is treatable...in some cases teacher/tutors, and psych therapists will come to the home in the beginning of treatment, but the goal is to get him out of the house so that would be short term. It's wonderful that his friends are staying in contact...get psychiatric help. MANY people suffer from this in various levels but CAN be helped

Answer 6

You lad could do with a mentor. I mentor last year schoolboys before they seek employment. I have each one for 18 months and once they can trust me 100% they will open up and confide in me anything that worries them. A mentor is someone who does not judge anything they want to talk about and mentee's prefere to confide in the mentor more than their parents , teachers or friends. i have seen total turnaround in the boys i have had and it is also very rewarding to see the results. Although your son is older im sure he can only benifit from having a mentor to confide in.

Answer 7

oh the poor thing has something happened to him like lost a gf or he asked a bird out she said no you need to speak to him or get some male who is close to speak to him do something for him has he a birthday coming up??? do a party for him in clued him in tings what he will enjoy at 19 i had a break down because my 1st love crushed my heart my mum and dad took me on a holiday it took my mind of thing well for a while anyway good luck to you and your son

Answer 8

im a psyche amatuer.. and also a 19 year old whos into social issues.. just have him IM me at lookitsnicolas on Aol Instant Messenger...


to be honest their is medication for things like this.. he may feel like hes not adequate enough for other people.. usually issues like this stem from physical issues.. perhaps he feels people are judging him when others look at him.. i know this sounds wierd.. but make him go tanning .. see if his confidence goes up at all..

Answer 9

Maybe you need to *ahem* engineer a chance meeting with a lovely girl, maybe invent a reason for her to come to the house on more than one occasion.. this would rely on you being a bit deceptive, I'm sure every parent must have this skill! ;-)

Answer 10

Get that boy some counseling. He needs to talk to some one and get down to the root of things.