This is more because though my freinds call me very romantic and enjoyable and intelligent company, my wife feels that I am unromantic, dull and dumb person. She firmly believes that I cannot make any one happy. Even if a person is happy with me for some time, he or she will leave me the moment they find me talking myself that is my sincere self.
I don't understand, why she gets happy by the pranks and uncommitted lures from the outsiders ( other males).??!! Infact, she finds every other male very understanding and great. She feels there is some or other limitation in my actions and that I cant stand a comparision to any of those fellows
2006-08-23 22:08:55 · 15 answers · asked by fatso_8166 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one can make someone either happy or unhappy, that is the individuals job. Maybe your marriage needs some spicing up.
take a romantic get away
2006-08-23 22:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see from your profile that today is your first day on Yahoo7 Answers, and that this is your only question to date.
Is the profile name you chose indicative of your build? In other words, are you perhaps a bit on the overweight side of the scale?
I’m not trying to be critical of you or anything, I’m just trying to get a better understanding of the reasoning behind your wife’s attitude toward you. Have you put on weight since you got married, or have you always been about the same weight and build?
You said that you have a 16 year old and an 8 year old daughter. Do you spend much time with them? Are both daughters to this marriage, or to a previous one? I don’t know how old you and your wife are, or for how long you have been married!!!
How long has the disharmony in your marriage been going on for? There was an eight year gap between both daughters; and an eight year gap between the youngest daughter, and now. Is that indicative of the amount of romance that is in the marriage?
You have told us that your wife feels you are an unromantic, dull and dumb person. How do you see yourself as being? Is your attitude toward your wife, different than it is toward your friends who see you as being romantic, enjoyable and intelligent?
As far as your marriage is concerned, and your relationship with your family, the views of your friends don’t really count for much. They aren’t the ones who live with you!!!
You lost me with the following sentence… Even if a person is happy with me for some time, he or she will leave me the moment they find me talking myself that is my sincere self.
I really don’t have a clue what you meant by that statement, but the fact that your wife hasn’t left you, means that it isn’t 100% true.
Have you asked your wife what she expects from you?
I don’t really know what to suggest to you, other than to try to put some spice back into your marriage. Romance comes in many forms, so even buying your wife some flowers, or taking her out for a romantic dinner, is a good way to get some romance back into the relationship. I don’t know what your sex-life with your wife is like, but if it is non-existent, then it would explain why she see you as being ‘unromantic’. If it has been a long time between intimacies, then perhaps you need to work on it!!!
Try to get more involved with the family. If you don’t spend much time with them, or share their interests, then you perhaps need to start doing so. You have got a 16 year old teenage daughter… and your life is ‘uneventful’?
As I said, try to get more involved with the family… Perhaps going out on family outings or something. Make sure your family knows that you are interested in them, and that you do love them. Actions do speak louder than words!
I’m sorry I can’t be much help.
Sit down and talk to your wife. Ask her what you need to do for her to appreciate you more. Ask your daughters as well!!!
Best of luck!!!
2006-08-24 05:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is very bad of her.
She is unfit to be a wife, unless she understand you.
She pretends to be happy in making comparisons with others, only to irritate you.
I think she must be taken to a phychiatrist for a mental check up.
Sorry man, I am with you. I can understand your feelings.
Many women are like that.
You cannot satisfy such foolish persons.
2006-08-24 13:49:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think the problem isn't you - its her. She is the one acting with the pranks and the other behaviors - do you confront her when she does these things or are you a doormat for them? Sounds like she wants to stray - forget the two kids in her mind and her commentments to you. This sounds like a marriage going to divorce court - start getting your finances in order.
2006-08-24 05:31:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their has to be some thing special which she wants in you and not getting .And of course when someone tries to start comprising with other the life become miserable. Try to finds out that what is her requirement which she really expect from you ? And try to roll out in the same direction.
2006-08-25 03:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by sanjay j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem does not lie in the stars, but, in ourselves...you and your wife should seek marriage counseling immediately. Be proud of yourself and your family, look to improve yourself, but, not at your own expense. Your wife might be unhappy with herself, and, just burdeing you with it, but, no matter the reason, seek counseling!
2006-08-24 06:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you verified your behaviour pattern? As we have got "many faces", may be, you are very enterprising when you are with your friends and very sullen & moroze when you are with your wife!It might be, you detest her equally as she does you.
Don't beat your drum louder when you are with someone, rather listen patiently and share people's emotive flares. That will make you popular & more acceptable.
Laugh out loud when she compares you to someone.
Go for achange, try to make a second honeymoon..........
2006-08-24 05:30:40 · answer #7 · answered by saumitra s 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You teach other how to treat you! You already know what makes you happy! make yourself happy and guess what! She will follow along and suddenly say to herself "he makes me happy too!"
I also want to say this .. She should NOT be putting you down like she does! You are worthy of love and understanding!
2006-08-24 05:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by ilovedragonflies6 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
probably because you are a wuss and she doesn't respect you. every now and then, i have to grab my wife by the back of the neck and shake her, just like a cat would shake a naughty kitten.
Her father (my father-in-law) asked me what kind of animal do I think she is. I said a horse, because once in a while it needs a firm hand, but you can't do it all the time. he said i was exactly right.
2006-08-24 05:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You two are not talking are you. Not once have you said when I asked she said this and that. Talk and listen to each other without fight. If you or her can not talk without fighting or say but then you both need counseling.
Talk - "communicate"
2006-08-24 07:01:51 · answer #10 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋