Last year I had an operation for endometriosis and my doctor told me that now it is all clear. Now I am desperate to have a baby, and I can't live with the idea that I could not be a mother and I don't know how I can fill this emptiness inside.
2006-08-23 21:56:18 · 17 answers · asked by srciantar 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I've experienced that desperate feeling to have a child. In fact, when I was struggling with infertility, it seemed to become an obsession. I was constantly questioning why that scum-bag woman on the street was pregnant and I wasn't. I just couldn't understand why there were so many teenagers sportin' big bellies and not me, a woman who was mature and financially stable. It just made no sense. It still doesn't, but at one point I gave up. I was so sick of being disappointed month after month. After two years of trying, I finally said "Forget it!" I quit thinking about it, I quit questioning, I quit being angry. It was like a big weight was lifted off of me. I felt relief and I felt free. So many people kept telling me before I gave up, "You need to relax, you need to relax, blah, blah, blah" How could I? I was faced with a heart-wrenching problem. I wanted to be a mother and I couldn't! Let me tell you, those people were right. The month I gave up, was the month I became pregnant with my son, who is now almost two years old. It was the month that I quit charting, quit taking Clomid, etc. All by myself! The cure to my infertility was indeed relaxing and letting go of my desperation and that emptiness that you mentioned here.
You will need to let go to rid yourself of the emptiness that you're experiencing. In time, you will be a mother, but you must find it in yourself to become a whole person without being dependent on becoming pregnant. That's sort of a codependency situation that you shouldn't be in. :) I know it's the hardest thing in the world to say "I give up" and really mean it when trying to conceive, but I know so many women that it's worked for. When you decide to let go, it will come to you, but you really need to let go before it will work. I know this sounds stupid, but give up for now. Just forget it. Start doing something as a hobby, focus on anything, but not ttc.
I understand your pain. I really do. I also know that things will work out for you if you let them.
BABYDUST to YOU!
2006-08-23 22:11:42 · answer #1 · answered by Answers to Nurse 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't rush it! Find someone you love to be with and then things will take their own course, it works something like that mostly.
If all you want is a baby, well you know where they come from. Or perhaps the spermbank can help you out.
Just don't base this decision on the emptiness inside and the fear of now or never. Making babies really should be a conscious thing to do, and take your feelings as a hint not as a lead.
2006-08-23 22:05:33 · answer #2 · answered by groovusy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my standard answer......... go get a book called Taking Charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler. It will help you understand your body and all the myths about it. It will help you time when you are ovulating and the best times to conceive. My Doctor recommended it to me and after 1 year of trying I got the book. It worked the very next month. It turns out that my timing was wrong due to mis-information. I hope it helps you, too! It's not only about getting pregnant. It's about knowing your body and knowing when you are fertile or not. You can pick and choose what you do with your info. Good luck and don't listen the all the myths!
2006-08-24 04:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by jachooz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need help. Can you ask you doctor if there are any other want to be Mums in the same position? There may be a support group near by. If not, can you set one up? If you discuss how you feel with people who understand you may feel better. Meanwhile, what has the doctor said about your chances of conceiving? If it is still a possibility that you can have a baby please keep trying.
2006-08-23 22:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by tinkerbell34 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean but adoption,fostering or surrogacy is always an option.You need be strong and even if you do not end up having a child just remember that it's your life and you have to life it to the full! Bad things happen to us all but by overcoming them and getting on with it you will be a stronger person.I know someone who fosters and she finds it so rewarding that she is helping so many people.
2006-08-23 22:23:03 · answer #5 · answered by Poptartash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is an all consuming desire. You don't say whether the doctor has said you can/can't have children. Maybe you should asked to be refereed to a specialist. It might be that some kind of IVF or even surrogacy could be the answer.
2006-08-24 09:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adoption would help two or more people. It would fill that void that you feel, and it would also make a child feel the love that they so desperately need in life.
2006-08-23 22:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure you know that the first thing to do is to be as relax as you can, is the best for your feelings and for your body as well. Don't think about it so much, cos when the moment came surely you'll know what to do. But now it's still the time for you to rest and learn to be happy again. Take it easy. Try to do things that you like to do. Best wishes and good luck!!!
2006-08-23 22:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by hans canstrop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not to raise your hopes too much lovely but my sister in law was told that she could never have any children as she had the same condition as you and cysts on her ovaries 4 years on she fell with her fist daughter now she has just given birth to her second miracles do happen have faith what will be will be take care not to worry too much there are alot of things that happen without medial reason
2006-08-24 11:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by AT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust in the lord, he will provide you with what HE wants you to have! Just give it time! Pray about it.
ya know, your gonna get a bunch of stupid answers on this question, like the one from "jason", yes I am available but no strings attatched"
Lame people!
2006-08-23 22:02:55 · answer #10 · answered by Cherries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋