in laws prob?

Question

well u c i m not able to have a gud relationship with my hubby cos of my in laws (we have a joint family)my hubby wont live without his parents ,i cant really adjust to their system,its at times very difficult to cope with sum1 always trying to teach you how to raise kids wat to make and all that.now i have managed so far but the fact is that now i m not able to even pretend in front of my hubby that i dont dislike them.its gettin tuffer for me to control my tongue and it ends up in a fight.so wat do i do divorce is out since i like my hubby except for his being too much of mom pa;s son.i know at times that at times if i keep quiet i will not loose anything , pls share sum incidents or motivating words so that i keep my mouth zipped

Answer 1

Explain to your husband that you are his wife and you want to assume the role of lady of the house. It is your right be the kind of mother and wife that you choose to be without interferance. Friendly advice if fine yes, but whether his parents live with you or not, it should be yours and your husband house. His mother has also had her turn of being a mother, now it is your turn and you have the right to raise your child your way, not theirs. His parents have had their time together and his mother has already been the lady of the house. It is now time for her to step aside and let you take over or even perhaps share the duties that you don't agree on and take turns in things like cooking.
If none of this is possible, could you join a mothers group in your area where you can get out of the house and spend time with other mothers and friends for a break.
I hope it all turns out for the better for you. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Hummmm wonder what your children are learning from this.I married a momma's boy.Took me several year's after any love I had turned to disgust and dislike, To teach my daughter that it's not OK to let the world and people WALK ALL OVER YOU!!!!
He needs to be a Husband and Father Or stay home with Mommy Dearest without you.Get your own place.Don't TAKE nothing from nobody.You are treated the way you teach people to treat you.Bet you live in the south???Good luck.

Answer 3

Don't keep your mouth shut at all. You need to talk to your husband and explain how they are making you feel. They may not change but you need his support. For a marriage to work you both need to be on the same page. Not just for your relationship but for your kids upbringing too.

My husband comes from a traditional Lebanese family and they would like to be at my house everyday. I did not grow up that way. So we have planned visits. I and my husband have made it very clear that we are raising our kids together and they have already done their job. I am still the boss even in their house.

His mother and sister have made comments and I told my husband how they made me feel. If they want a relationship with me, they have to realize these things. Things still get on my nerves from time to time but I "don't sweat the small stuff".

Your husband needs to realize that you come first. You should read "The Seven Principle to Making a Marriage work" You may not get him to read it but it will help you see where I'm coming from. The more you hold this in the more your dislike will grow and that's not good for your family. There's another book called "Toxic In-Laws" which I also bought but haven't gotten to. Things have been better lately and I haven't felt any major stress.

Remember for you to be a good mom you need to feel good and you need to surround yourself with positive energy. your husband needs to see this is for the better for all of you.

Answer 4

Same all over and you are not the only one in crisis! A Friend of mine was forcefully evicted by his in-laws from his house in full glare of his wife and two small kids! The in-laws say that he is jobless and useless. They bring girls and entertain and sleep with them in his house while he is seeing. When he complains they tell him to shut up as he is only enjoying the sister's money. The guy lost his job and is seriously in search for one. To cut the long story, he is currently staying with me in my house. I feel, you need to consider two things. One, try and take your hubby out and discuss with him the facts and make him see what third-parties are doing to your freedom to relate as a family. Secondly, seek help from trained counsellors. If at all you are staying in the same house with in-laws, it will never be easy. You need to get your own unit. All the best!

Answer 5

Sounds like your husband has chosen to be a son before a husband. I am sorry for you because he will not change. It sounds like this is a cultural problem and he feels responsible for his parents.

You can try being honest with him a letting him know how you feel, but if he doesn't care about your feelings...you will be out of luck and might have to end up divorced.

Answer 6

I am going to assume that you are from a different country. And with that difference in cultures, I keep finding that women feel and think the same...isn't that amazing!!!

If you love your husband, just remember that the "In-law's" will not be around much longer..statistically speaking....be good to your husband, mother n'laws are hard to deal with anywhere, if you are unable to talk to her and explain how you feel without causing an argument with your husband, your best bet is just to Smile and thank her for her suggestions.

Good luck to you and your husband.

Answer 7

go with the flow and since your husband don't want to move out,then let your in-laws take care of your kids and get busy with the outside world. And if you're a stay home wife find a job on that way you won't see them 24/7.

Answer 8

Sorry to say this, but I think it is useless to try to keep your mouth shut. You will never win with these people and if you don't have your husband's support, it is not even worth trying.

I went through the same thing. I stopped trying to get along with them. My husband finally grew up and didn't think everything his parents said and did was right.

Good luck to you.

Answer 9

mama needs 2 cut the apron strings u married him not the family.they need to be grandparents not the parents.hubby needs 2 grow up get his own home.if u continue this u will never be happy.if he dont see no wrong in the way u feel then i would take my kids and say so long loser.

Answer 10

per chance your husband forwarded the e-mail to his brother to end all this arguing. per chance hubby became attempting to sparkling up all this through confronting brother, and it did not artwork as planned. Set down and characteristic a talk with hubby. They do listen, even at the same time as they pretend now to not. As a universal rule, i are literally not making comments about my own brother in regulation to my hubby, it basically makes issues worse, your hubby is all precise conscious of how his brother is, enable him make certain issues out in the destiny. That way he's not protecting his brother to you, basically enable him cope with it in the longer time period. at the same time as your brother in regulation calls and hubby isn't round, make an excuse to get off telephone asap, it sucks, even with the undeniable fact that it fairly works in the longer time period.