I forgave my husband but not my cousin; they had an affair; he confessed she still denies that it happened?

Question

the last email she said she love him; he needs to decide; & she will stop at nothing to get what she wants..him. then called me and said, there is something I need to know. (blackmaling my husband) When her husband heard about the affair, he threatened to kill my husband & our kids; including me; so I told him nothing, he believes her; but told me play the game; she wanted me to tell him the truth so that he'd leave her for cheating & mine leave me for putting us in danger; that leaves the doors open for her to make the move; I am currently in couseling w/my husband and pray every night; she feels as if she did nothing wrong; she told everyone in my family I am crazy & made this up; I can't find it in my heart to forgive her, I cut myself off w/my fam? I thought we were best friends; our kids play together & hubby's hang out; my last conv. w/her I really cussed her out, & was ready to hurt her; now I stay in church to keep sane; am I wrong to forgive him and not her; what should I do

Answer 1

Let them go in your mind. You will be happier.

Answer 2

Church isn't going to help you here....you are dealing with 2 deceptive people. I think they are playing you. The situation being as it is, you need to remove yourself from it. If what they say is true, you and your kids are in danger for nothing you have done. If they are just deceiving you, you are going to be a fool. Don't cut out all of your family, you are a victim in this and need your family (not your cousin).

We women and men need to understand that we are valuable people and no I am not a feminist...I see no reason why we should be cheated on and just accept it and in the same token there is no reason why a man should deal with being cheated on and accept it. Once someone cheats and is forgiven, it is only an ok to continue or do it again. The only instances of cheating that are in some way acceptable is if you are left by that person for the other person...at least they aren't trying to "have their cake and eat it too".

Leave it all behind, the fact that you are still dealing with in and have nowhere to turn but here, just means you are in a really bad situation.

Answer 3

Well that cousin sounds like a total ***** and a hater! She had no right to go blabbing to the rest of the family, but anyway it is a difficult decision to forgive your husband or tell him goodbye but we don't know your entire relationship with him so hopefully this was a one time thing and maybe in some weird way this brought you closer to each other. In the other hand he can be an *** and you just fell for a cheesy line and took him back only to be hurt again.

Main point Cousin Goodbye and Husband ????

Good luck thought and i hope things turn for the best for you two.

Answer 4

You have so far done well by forgiving the man you stay with and taking him along for counselling. What needs to be done is to find out the root cause of the infidelity and deal with it. As for your cousin, I think she has an even bigger problem than you. She has extreme psychological problems that may need professional help. From the look of things, she is not even aware of her own problem. That complicates it. My advice, is continue with the counselling and repair the damage in your own family. If possible move to another state or area or town or city or whatever after completing your counselling. This will help repair and heal the relationship between your husband and yourself. Sorry for the situation and all the best!

Answer 5

It's out in the open now. She should have confessed and not made things sound like you are off your rocker to the rest of the family. I think you have a right not to forgive her. But it makes me wonder what kind of woman your husband was going for. Because she sounds like a real nut case. And her husband does too.

Answer 6

This situation is the worst type of betrayal....by your husband and a family member. Dang!! Anyone who is able to forgive has a bigger heart than me. So I commend you. Maybe more heart than brains??

She will never admit she is a whore. Probably because her marriage isn't strong enough to survive it. So lying is her only option. Don't hold your breath waiting for a confession....it will never happen.

Your on the right track....you and husband are trying to get past this and move on with your lives. Good luck.

Answer 7

I dont blame you for not forgiving her! I'd wash my hands of her. if you're willing to forgive your husband, then you need to work things out with him and dont even worry about her because she's a piece of crap that invaded in on your marriage and your childrens happy home. If she's denying it that shows you what kind of person she is. Also, if you're being threatened...you should call the police and maybe get a restraining order.

Answer 8

First you have to really ask God to move that hurt what your hub sand and cousin did. Because If you can forgive your hub sand... why can't you forgive your cousin I know its hard, Because this family but just like Jesus Forgave you of all your sins; You can do the same thing You don't have to talk to her every again see her etc, But just because you forgave her God will bless you and your marriage just give it to God.Pray about read the bible; Ask god to teach you how to forgive not out of anger but Sincerely out of love that way God can bless you like never before. Trust me the pain that you have now but once you really say yes Replace it with your love, peace, kindness, wisdom, understanding, healing he will do it because you forgave and you said Yes to his will and to his way Be blessed

Answer 9

is ur hubby with u ? if yes then face the truth make her mask remove in front of all the members be strong face it

Answer 10

forgive them both....
i know it will be a long time to forgive but you have to forgive them..
try to think that its not already your fault..
once you forgive them...
and move on of course

Answer 11

dump your cousin and take care of your husband to avoid recurrence of this type