How can I get my friend to start talking to me again?

Question

My best friend found out that I've been cutting myself and now she doesn't want anything to do with it because she says I'm a "attention whore" even though it wasn't even for attention at all and I'd been trying my best to hide it (and had suceeded for a long time, but then I was tying my hair up and my sleeve slid down and Liza just happened to look at my arm right at that second). How do I get my friend back? And how to I get her to not tell other people cause I don't want everyone at school to think I'm some kind of freak more than they already do?

Answer 1

Well, if she stopped talking to you in time of need then she was never a friend to begin with. Friends have each others backs. Especially when the other person is having problems. Just approach her and ask her for help. Communication is the resource to have in any type of relationship. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 2

I completely agree with everything, "arya" said above.

Your "friend" should've asked you calmly about the cuts and allow you to explain yourself. Whether it's to be an "attention whore" or not, it's never good to allow those kind of things go unspoken between friends. So hon, don't worry about her, I know it's hard but it seems that right now you don't need someone like that in your life.

If she betrays you further by telling other people at school, ignore it. Tell them that you have the slightest idea what she's talking about. If they ask for proof, tell them you don't have to prove anything to them.

You should really think about working on whatever is causing you to cut yourself, though. It's not safe. I'm speaking from personal experiance so I'm not someone who hasn't been there and is just here to harp on you about something I know nothing about.

No one can "make" you stop cutting, you have to decide to do it on your own. It's like any other addiction, and yes, it becomes a bonafide addiction. I still have tingles in my arms and urges to cut.

But please, for your safety, try to find other outlets for your pain. Forget about your "friend". Who knows, maybe she's the source that's causing you to cut to begin with.

best of luck.

Answer 3

She is not a true freind. You are not an ''attention whore'' either. I read this ''It is hard for most people to understand why someone would want to cut or burn himself/herself). The mere idea of intentionally inflicting wounds to oneself makes people cringe.''...She may have really got scared seeing your marks, and ofcourse she has given it a term as ''attention seeking''. If she was your true freind, she would atleast have talked to you, find out what it is thats bothering you and help you get out of your anxieties. In fact you are better off without her. As for her telling others, you can always keep yourself firm on the ground and say that you have no clue on what she's talking about. And carry yourself as if nothing happened....that would silence all the questioning, and judgments.

First, and the main issue here is not losing someone who was not worth it anyway. The issue is - Have you really done something to help yourself from self hurt ?'. If not, you must. I know advises are really easy to be given, but difficult to follow, but please do give it a try. I am writing here, what your best freind should have told you, and just letting you know that you are not alone, I have freinds who have done this, and I know to a certain extent of how it may feel. YOu must really understand and realize that this is not about being bad or stupid – this is about recognizing that a behavior (self injury) that somehow was helping you handle your feelings will become as big a problem later, as the one it was trying to solve in the first place.

Talk it out, it might help, with someone who is very very close to you. Forget this freind of yours, she just showed you that she's not worthy of your freindship. You have very strong feelings, negative or positive I do not know, but you need to address issues within yourself to begin with.

good luck!

Answer 4

Unfortunately you probably can't. I know from previous experience in doing that. I lost all my close friends and still 7 years later I still haven't got them back even though it's been about 5 years since I last did it. It's hard I know. I still fight with myself every now and then to try to not do it anymore. But remember if a lost soul like me can do it you can. You're more than free to email me if you ever feel like talking or you just need a fellow lost soul to listen.

Answer 5

girl this might not mean anything to you but i do it too. people never understand someone who cuts themselves and like you said they think you're just looking for attention. personally i have my reasons for doing them coz its the one way out that i know works so im not gonna ask your reasons coz those are personal.
wel your friend should have helped you or at least asked you why you did it!! so this isn't the best thing coz its hard but she wasn't your friend if she didn't care enough to ask but then again maybe it just shocked her beyond belief that you would do it.

my bro caught me once or saw my arm too to be exact and hates the fact that i do it.. no he's like my bodyguard and we look out for eachother so find someone who you can trust and maybe talk it through. this also sometimes tends to lower the chance of you cutting again.

when i get the urge i find myself looking for my bro or looking for something that will distract me or forget about why i wanted to do it in the first place. OK LOOK now im side tracking.... if your friend sees that you making an effort to stop this habit or you ask her for her help then she'll be stupid to refuse.

BEST OF LUCK GIRL!!!!

Answer 6

firstly you need to seek preofessional help to find the core issue as to why you want to punish yourself. when i was at school one of my really close friends used to cut herself and i never judged her i just told her that i hated what she was doing to herself and that if she needed to talk i would be there for her. she eventually felt safe in talking to me but she also sought professional advice. your "friend" isn't really a friend or she would have stuck by you instead of dumping you. you need to get somehelp and find a new friend. this one is a lost cause and you would be better off without her. unfortunately there is nothing you can do to get her not to tell other people. don't worry about being a freak because all the so called freaks at my school are now doing really well for themselves while the popular crowd either had kids straight out of school or found it so hard to adjust to life out of school because being popular at school was their claim to fame. in the real world it doesn't matter who you are at high school only who you become. good luck.

Answer 7

Sometimes accidents aren't really accidents ... cutting yourself seems to be mostly what you talk about on Yahoo Answers ... so I'm thinking "Attention Whore" is still in the running. If you want your friend back you may have to fess up to that possibility.

Answer 8

well first off stop cutting yourself.ask your friend if she will help you stop.if she say no then ask another friend if they can help you.also ask your friend if she wouldnt go around school telling about your problem(no offenfence) because it is more of a personal matter.and oh yeah if the other friend doesnt want to help you you should go see a counsler.and they usually help but, if they dont help they cant hurt either so you got nothing to lose ok.

Answer 9

if she's going to judge you by that, then she's really not a friend at all. obviously its a cry for help and you need your friends, but if their going to back away when you need them the most, then their not worth the effort.

Answer 10

Srry to say but i don't think she's your friend, and she's just probably overwhelmed you might just have to wait out this situation.