my husband is an artist and two months before our wedding, a female artist from another country went over to his house to have a look at his work.i even knew about it. Next thing, later in the night, he took her out, she spent a night at his house. He slept with her. I found out about it. he tried to refuse first but then he accepted later. i was so mad at him. anyways, with time, i forgave him. We moved on and got married. Now, today he tells me there is a female artist from another country coming over to our house to have a look at his works. I wont be around at home just like the other time. I feel hurt inside once again. Is there something am not getting? I dont trust him anymore. What do you advise i do?
2006-08-23 19:11:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You haven’t mentioned how long you have been married for!!!
I’m assuming he was ‘engaged to you’ when he had the one-night-stand with the other artist… It is too late now for me to suggest that you should have dumped him there and then. He obviously didn’t have too much respect for you!!!
I’m not sure I understand what you meant by ‘he refused first but then he accepted later’…
Did he refuse to admit that he slept with her, but admitted it later? Is that what you meant?
If that is the case, then he lied to you… He betrayed your trust, and you therefore have every reason to not trust him now.
You have every right to be concerned about the next artist going to view his works.
Because you can’t be there to keep an eye on things, I can only suggest that you speak to your husband, and tell him you want his word that he won’t allow anything sexual to happen between him and the other artist.
Let him know that whilst you forgave him the last time he was unfaithful to you… you have no intention of doing it again. Make sure he understands that if he cheats on you again, it will be the end of the marriage!!!
I don’t know what else I can suggest to you. What sort of an artist is he (apart from a Bullsh*t artist)? Does he paint nude portraits? Suggest he paint one of you!!! It may breathe some life back into the marriage!!!
I hope it works out for you.
All the best!!!
2006-08-24 00:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being a flirt is one thing, but taking action on that is cheating. They say once a cheater always a cheater. The best thing to do is follow your heart/instinct. If u are that concerned you could set up a hidden camera or tape recorder. You could even hire a private investigator. You already stated you don't trust him and you forgave him once. He knows you did and may test you to see if he can get away with it again. I would be Leary about it. You may want to try and change your plans if possible and make sure you are there. That will not stop him when you are not around. If he plans on it then chances are he has been doing it all along. You may need to decide if you will let it slide or let him go. The decision is yours to make. Please protect and trust your heart.
Best of Luck!!!
2006-08-23 19:21:55 · answer #2 · answered by caspersweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she need to go to your home to view the piece of art work? Isn't there a public place he can meet her? Or share his work through photos? Or just find a male who can look at his work? Have you gone over with him that you are uncomfortble this time about him having a women over there. Has there been any other cheating taking place, that you knoiw of? If you truely have a trush issue with him then I would strongly recommend talkint to him or getting counseling if its not too late.
2006-08-23 19:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be feeling hurt, but this sounds like the 6th sense kicking in. If you have a gut feeling that something is about tho happen,make plans to go home "un announced"
2006-08-23 19:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's inappropriate to entertain a lady in your home without you there. Explain how you feel about it. Ask him to reschedule her visit when you both can be there.
I don't blame you for not trusting him. Once trust is betrayed, it's almost impossible to regain.
2006-08-23 19:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't learn his lesson well enough. Think of something that will shock him and wake him up. Be there when he's meeting the other artist and then dressed sexily later on.
2006-08-23 19:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by j t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him tht he broke the trust in the first place...either the woman doesn't come over or you divorce with him then he can bring home whoever he wants.
2006-08-23 19:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by Neutro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if shouldn't marry him in the first place. tell him because of his record, you are not comfortable, arrange a time that you will be home, or forget about the meeting, if he loves and cares about you, he should do it.
2006-08-23 19:15:42 · answer #8 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now! He is a lieing piece of you know what! Strike one you bad but dont give him strike 2 baby
2006-08-23 19:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by cowboygene2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the trust between you has to be 100% so........
study relationship books, tapes, cds, videos, etc.........get self-esteem training.
2006-08-23 19:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋