I met this man about 3 yrs ago and we both fell in love, till date we are still together. His family got to find out about us shortly after we met. His wife threatens to harm my parents & I, should he divorces her. He kept denying to her that we are still in contact, but she has always been very suspicious and reckons that we are still together. She is also constantly trying to gather evidences to prove that we are in close contact, but she is not going to divorce him. She is always tracking his phone call records through itemized billing & etc...
She terrorizes his life by going "crazy" every now & then, picking up quarrels in the middle of the nite, not allowing him to sleep. He has been going through this stress for the past 2.5yrs and I can see that he is suffering. We both truly love each other, but his wife consistently threatens to kill his children & herself after killing my family if he leaves her.
Please advice what should I do to help my man to get out of such situation
2006-08-23 18:58:47 · 20 answers · asked by Wholesome 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ur big 1 lose'r
2006-08-23 19:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i once thought that the men i dated were diferrent coz they loved me so much and cared about me more than anything. With time, i came to realise that ALL the men are they same. What a man can do to another woman he can to you. In a long term relationship, that romance finishes so you will find that a man will want to find a girl to fulfill their desires. Without knowing, they use women. The fact that they cant leave their wives for a girlfriend should be enough evidence that they are after using women for their own pleasure. Am sure you are an adorable woman and deserve a lot much better than stressful times. Take care of yourself and one day, a nice young uncommitted man will came your way then you will see in the long run how relationships diminish. Think hard.
2006-08-23 19:20:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you should leave this man. At this moment you are being considered as the third party in this relation. The guy may really love you but don't forget if his wife really kill his children and commit sucide, who will get the blame? I think most people will push the blame on you instead of the guy coz they will feel tt you cause the marriage to breakdown. It is never a easy decision to made by leaving the guy but I think this is one of the way to solve this problem. No doubt you will feel hurt for not being together with the one you love rather than let your bf 's wife come to your house and made a scene. I think you should considered your decision carefully before you made your decision.
2006-08-24 15:24:00 · answer #3 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, his wife really is crazy. How he got with that nutbag is a mystery. If he really truly loved you, he'd divorce her and be with you. Besides, if you two get married, how are you so sure he won't cheat on you? It must be tough to be in love with a man you can't have, but face it him and his wife fell in love years before he met you, and until he started having affairs with you, him and his family had been doing just fine. Can't you see his wife loves him? She didn't start going crazy on him until you entered his life. You're ruining her and jeopardizing the lives of their children. They were in love, you butted in and just messed up their family!
I understand that you might go crazy because you can't have him, but he's using you. People would do anything for whom they love the most, and if leaving his family to be with you isn't an option, he doesn't care about you that much. Think of how happy the wife was before. She had children, she was in love, and now another woman comes into the scene and her perfect marriage is ruined. She threatens her children's lives and hers to prevent him from divorcing her because she's in denial, she loves him and wants to be with him forever and ever, just like they once promised.
If you really love him and care for him, you'll apologize to the wife, and let him return to whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. If not that, get rid of him, he's using you, apologize and tell his wife to leave him because he's using you and will use another once you leave.
He's not your man, he never was, you were just a fling in the bed. Go find your one true love, he's swimming out there somewhere in the sea waiting to encounter you, his perfect mate.
2006-08-23 19:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by cyn1c4l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it's not your man....it's HER man. And second? You reap what you sew. If screwing a married man is the best you can do, well then honey, I have no sympathy. Nice way to break up a family! Hope you sleep well at night knowing that you are taking away stability from innocent children. Oh, and for crazy...I think I just saw your picture in the dictionary next to the definition!
2006-08-23 19:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE THE THIRD PARTY. Why are ruining other family? Please be fair to the poor woman with children, the man is denying you, so how much love can he have for you.
Wake up, you are the one that is driving the family crazy. If you love him, LEAVE HIM.
Stop being the one that is hurting others. Whatever rubbish the guy says, HE IS MARRIED BUT NOT TO YOU.
Get out and get a life.
2006-08-23 19:06:39 · answer #6 · answered by j t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet your lover is not telling the truth. They usually say how unhappy they are and what a phycho the wife is etc.etc. It is time to face the truth. The only way to get rid of the stress is to leave him.Your no better really are you? Also, he isn't leaving his wife or he would have by now.Your just an added extra. Sorry for being blunt but that is the way it seems to me.
2006-08-23 19:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is suffering for his own fault and you share half of his fault! The real victim now is the wife and children, not him. Love is not an excuse to break up a family. The only way to get out of this situation is to leave him, and stop hurting others.
2006-08-23 19:11:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave this married man alone and don't be a home-wrecking whore... You are making his family miserable...What kind of person ruins a family with children involved?!? How would you like it if someone took your husband away? How do you know he won't cheat on you since he's cheating on his wife with you?!? Find a man that isn't married...and quit ruining this families life!!!
2006-08-23 19:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey get real! He is a player. What about your stress here. I know you love him but if he loved you then he would leave her. If she is threatning family call the cops. Thing is in your heart you dont believe it eather. If a man or woman loves you they will do what it takes to be with you simple. Sorry but he is full of SHI*
2006-08-23 19:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by cowboygene2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of that relationship. If his wife is crazy enought to do something like that, you just don't want to get in the middle of it. You don't want to be known as "The Other Woman", it's a really bad label.
2006-08-23 19:49:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋